Compiled by London Swaminathan

 

Date: 5 October 2016

 

Time uploaded in London: 19-04

 

Post No.3221

 

Pictures are taken from various sources; thanks.

 

 

Contact swami_48@yahoo.com

 

 

Robert Louis Stevenson, in the days of his residence in San Francisco, took a friend to a restaurant in which he said, the waiters would never admit that anything was lacking from the bill of fare. They will take your order for the slice of the moon, said he, and go away as if to fetch it, and come back to tell you they are just out of it.

 

The two men seated themselves and the waiter came up.

“A double order of boiled Brohemoth”, said Stevenson.

“Will you have it rare or well done?” Asked the waiter.

“Rare”,said Stevenson.

In a few moments the waiter had returned , “I am very sorry, sir”, the waiter began……

“What!” Interrupted Stevenson in a tone of annoyance.

“No more Behemoth?”

“Oh, no, sir, said the waiter hastily, then lowering his voice, I have some more, sir, he explained, but the truth is I would not bring it to you as it is not quite fresh”.

Xxxx

 

Bishop Brewster of Connecticut (USA), while visiting some friends, tucked his collar to avoid the juice of grapefruit at breakfast. He laughed as he did so, and said it reminded him of a man he knew who rushed into a restaurant and, seating himself at a table, proceeded to tuck his napkin understand his chin. He called a waiter and said,

“Can I get lunch here?”

“Yes”, replied the waiter in a dignified manner

“But not a shampoo”.

 

Xxxx

Hotels and Restaurants Anecdotes

 

A man walked into a hotel and asked for a room.

“On the American plan or the Japanese plan?” asked the clerk.

“What is the difference?”

“The American plan is with cross ventilation. The Japanese plan is with double cross ventilation”.

 

Xxx

 

A certain cafeteria in New York caused much pleasure to many of its patrons by prominently displaying on its walls, the motto

“Courteous and Efficient Self-Service”

 

Xxx

A certain lodging house in the south of Italy had the Russian writer Maxim Gorky as its guest some years ago. He complained to the landlady, “The morning after the night before that his bed was infested by vermin”.

The landlady indignantly remonstrated.

“No sir, we haven’t one single bug in the house”.

“No, Madame”, Gorky agreed amiably,

“They are all married and have large families too”.

 

Xxx

 

A game of Poker at Delmonicos had lasted well into the night when one of the party, the late Colonel John R Fellows, ordered a plate of sandwiches.

The familiar dainty triangle variety was served and disappeared instantly. A hungry shout went up for more.

“More Sandwiches, waiter”, said Fellows.

“Yes, sir, how many sir?” returned the waiter.

“Well, said Fellows, with a calculating air, judging by the size of your sandwiches and the size of this bill, I should say about 2000 dollars worth!”

 

Xxx

Mr.Disraeli said he could not remember a certain inn, upon which the owner assured him that he must be mistaken.

 

“You must remember the house, sir; there was a handsome bar-maid there — monstrous fine gal — you must have been in the King’s Arm, Sir”

“Perhaps, said , said Disraeli, if I had been in her arms I might have remembered it”.

Xxx

 

For a laconic philosophy it is hard to match the case of the man who checked into a hotel in a small mid we term city and went up to his room. Later in the evening he came down, his suitcase in his hand, checked out.

“What is the trouble? Sir” asked the clerk, slightly puzzled.

“Don’t you find the room satisfactory?”

 

“The room is alright, said the man, except for one thing.

It is on fire”.

Xxx

 

In a gloomy and depressed state Eugene Field wandered into a restaurant. A busy waiter hastened up and reeled off at a high speed a long line of dishes on the present menu.

Field gazed up in melancholy and said, “Friend, I want none of these thing. All I want is an orange and a few kind words”.

–SUBHAM–