Office Seekers (Chaucer & Lincoln) Anecdotes (Post No.3766)

Compiled by London swaminathan


Date: 28 March 2017


Time uploaded in London:- 15-16


Post No. 3766


Pictures are taken from various sources; thanks.




A Commissioner to the Hawaiian Islands was to be appointed, and eight applicants had filed their papers, when a delegation from the South appeared at the White House on behalf of the ninth. Not only their man was fit – so the delegation urged – but was also in bad health, and a residence in that balmy climate would be of great benefit to him.


President Abraham Lincoln was rather impatient on that day, and before the members of the delegation had fairly started in, suddenly closed the interview with this remark:

“Gentlemen, I am sorry to say that there are eight other applicants for that place, and they are all sicker than your man”.




Chaucer got a job!

Master Geoffrey Chaucer was a man of law, for he had studied at the Temple, probably about the time when he is said to have cudgelled a friar in Fleet Street; he was a soldier, and had been taken captive in the wars; he was a courier and an ambassador, and had negotiated a royal marriage. There was probably ground, therefore, for supposing that were he given an office of profit under the Crown he would take his pleasure and leave the duties to be performed by others, as was not uncommon in those days. Wherefore he was bound down to this close bargain:

“That the said Geoffrey write with his own hand the rolls touching the same office, and continually reside there, and do and execute all things pertaining to the said office in his own proper person, and not by his substitute.”


Too big a post for him…………………….

An old acquaintance of President Lincoln visited him in Washington. Lincoln desired to give him a place. Thus encouraged, the visitor, who was an honest man but wholly inexperienced in public affairs or business, asked for a high office, Superintendent of the Mint.

The president was aghast, and said:

Good gracious! Why didn’t he ask to be the Secretary of the Treasury (Finance Minister), and have done with it?”

Afterward, he said: “Well, now, I never thought Mr—- had anything more than average ability, when we were young men together. But, then, I suppose he thought the same thing about me, and – here I am!”



Where in the world…………………

To someone who wanted an appointment which was already filled, Lincoln sent the following telegram:

“What nation do you desire General Allen to be made quarter -master-general of? This nation has already has a quarter -master-general – A.Lincoln.

xxx SUBHAM xxx

30 more Golden Sayings from Panchatantra (Post No.3763)


Written by London swaminathan

Date: 27 March 2017

Time uploaded in London:- 20-44

Post No. 3763

Pictures are taken from various sources; thanks.


April 2017 Calendar
30 more Golden Sayings from Panchatantra (Last month calendar carried 31 quotes from Panchatantra)

Festival/ Holidays: April 5 Ram Navami; 9 Mahavir Jayanti; 14 Tamil New Year Day & Good Friday; 16 Easter Sunday; 29 Akshaya Trtyai; 30 Shankara and Ramanuja Jayanti

Ekadasi (11th day Fasting)- 6, 22; Amavasya/ New Moon- April 26
Paurnami/Full Moon- April 10; Auspicious Days:- April 2, 9, 10, 17, 21

April 1 Saturday
Don’t waste words:
The chickpea may hop up and down frantically
but will it crack the frying pan?

April 2 Sunday
What are dreams?
What a man watches or does
or yearns for during the day
he does the same at night in his sleep
He talks about it; he acts it out.

April 3 Monday
Which man does Fortune not render proud?
which seeker after pleasure sees his troubles end?
whose heart is not shattered by a woman?
who does not fall into the clutches of Time?

April 4 Tuesday
whoever saw or heard of these?
cleanliness in a crow,
truth in a gambler,
forbearance in a serpent
spent passion in a woman

April 5 Wednesday
Rulers live off their lands,
physicians off the sick;
merchants live off consumers
the learned off fools

April 6 Thursday
Money! Money!
A trouble to acquire; a trouble to protect;
a trouble if it is lost; a trouble if it is spent;
money is nothing but trouble,
alas! from beginning to end.

April 7 Friday

one without ambition does not hold office;
one fallen out of love does not care to adorn himself;
one who lacks learning displays no eloquence;
one who is blunt in speech is never a cheat.

April 8 Saturday

The senses age first, then the body
in those blessed with virtue and piety
but in those who possess neither
body ages, senses never.

April 9 Sunday

A tiller of the soil, an outcaste with matted hair,
or another man duly initiated
with Siva’s mystical names and vows; whose body
is marked with sacred ash becomes a twice-born pure.

April 10 Monday

A king is ruined by bad advice
an ascetic by company
a child by fond indulgence
a Brahmana by lack of learning


April 11 Tuesday

A stranger at dusk must not turn back unwelcomed
householders who honour and serve a guest
brought by the setting sun, themselves
take on an aura of divinity.

April 12 Wednesday

Water, a pile of straw, and a place to sleep
kind words of welcome, these four things
are never found wanting in the houses
or mansions of the good and virtuous.

April 13 Thursday

Delirium, trembling, tottering, falling down,
a constant patter of incoherent babbling
these are the sure signs of foul fevers, lie threatening,
and of drunkenness as well

April 14 Friday

Honest man:
The man who appears in open court
calm and cheerful, with smiling face, defiant eye,
and speaks in clear, firm tones with confident pride,
know him to be true and upright.

April 15 Saturday

They laugh, they weep, to gain their own ends;
they win the trust of others; trust no one themselves
Let them be shunned therefore like burial-urns
by all men of good conduct and noble birth


April 16 Sunday
Altered speech, changing complexion,
eyes darting from side to side in alarm
drooping, broken in spirit: such a man
having committed a crime is afraid of his own act.

April 17 Monday

Death Sentence:
A Brahmana, a child, a woman, a sick man,
and an ascetic may not be put to death;
if the offence be serious, the law lays down
that disfigurement is proper punishment.

April 18 Tuesday

Seven Sins of Rulers
Women, dice, hunting and dice
abusive speech, that is the fifth,
punishment severe beyond reason,
and rapine – that completes the seven.

April 19 Wednesday

The Crow and the Serpent Story
Where sheer prowess cannot succeed
a clever ruse may accomplish the end;
the hen-crow by means of a golden chain
brought about the deadly black serpent’s death.

April 20 Thursday

Animal Behaviour:
Crows, cowards, deer, these three,
will never abandon their home;
elephants, lions, and noble men, these three,
faced with dishonour will always leave home.

April 21 Friday
Pretty on the outside; poisonous within;
they resemble the Gunjas’ bright berries
Women God! Who did create them?

April 22 Saturday

There is no friend like good health;
there is no foe like sickness;
no joy equals that of children;
no pain equals that of hunger

April 23 Sunday

Evil men perish:
Why need you think of ways and means
to do harm to evil doers,
when they are sure to fall on their own
like trees that grow by the river’s edge.

April 24 Monday

Sacrifice for a Friend:
Imbued with passion for benevolence,
saints on earth, possessed of steadfast minds, cherish
service to others alone, and count as nothing
even the sacrifice of their own life for a friend.

April 25 Tuesday

Foolish Friends:
Better take a walk with a snake
or share your home with rogues or foes;
never put your trust in evil friends,
false, fickle and foolish

April 26 Wednesday

Fear danger while it is still to come;
once you are face to face with danger
strike hard with no hesitation.

April 27 Thursday

In blind arrogance, men often mistakenly disdain
a weak foe; only to find that foe
easily put down first, soon growing unassailable
like a disease that flares if not contained in time.

April 28 Friday

Falsehood and daring, folly and deceit,
uncleanness of body and spirit too,
excessive greed, and lack of compassion,
these vices are inborn in women

April 29 Saturday

Sinful Act:
The sinful acts the ignorant commit
for the sake of a single life,
bring them only sorrows that extend
over a thousand recurring lives.

April 30 Sunday
A king is a lamp, wealth, the oil
gathered from the people.
Who has ever perceived him as shining
lit by in-dwelling virtues radiant.


Battle Anecdotes (Post No.3747)

Compiled by London swaminathan


Date: 22 March 2017


Time uploaded in London:- 21-57


Post No. 3747


Pictures are taken from various sources; thanks.






Bull Run Battle


One day Chauncey Depew met a soldier who had been wounded in the face. He was a Union Man and Depew asked him in which battle he had been injured.

“In the last battle of Bull Run, sir”, he replied.

“But how could you get hit in the face of a Bull Run?”

“Well, sir”, said the man, “after I had run a mile or two I got careless and looked back.”

((Bull Run, Battle of definition. The first battle of the American Civil War, fought in Virginia near Washington, D.C. The surprising victory of the Confederate army humiliated the North and forced it to prepare for a long war. A year later the Confederacy won another victory near the same place.))



George Washington


During the Revolutionary war, an Irish man in the American service having come by surprise on a small party of Hessians who were foraging, seized their arms which they had laid aside. He then presented his musket, and with threats drove them before him into the American camp where the singularity of the exploit occasioning some wonder, he was brought with his prisoners before General Washington who asked him how he had taken them.

By God, general, said he, I surrounded them.


((HESSIAN: a native or inhabitant of Hesse. a Hessian soldier in any of the mercenary units of the British Army in the War of American Independence or the Napoleonic Wars. (US) any German mercenary in the British Army during the War of American Independence.))




Fire to Yourself


General Winfield Scott said that during the War of 1812, before an action began between the two opposing armies, it was customary for the respective army commanders to ride forward accompanied by their staff, and formally salute each other. Each then returned to his own lines, and the battle opened.

This custom is well illustrated by the anecdote told by Fournier,

Lord Hay at the Battle of Fontenay,1745, called out

“Gentleman of the French Guard, fire first”.


To which the Comte d’ Auteroches replied,

“Monsieur, we never fire first; please to fire yourselves”



Duke of Wellington Statue Modelling


When Sir John Steel, the sculptor, had the Duke of Wellington sitting for a statue, he wanted to get him to look warlike. All his efforts were in vain, however, for Wellington seemed, judging by his face, never to have heard of Waterloo or Talvera.


At last Sir John lost patience, somewhat.

“As I am going to make the statue of Your Grace, he said, “can you not tell me what you were before, say, the Battle of Samamaca? Were you not galloping about the fields, cheering on your men to deeds of valor by word and action?”


“Bah!, said the Duke scornfully. “If you really want to model me as I was on the morning of Salamanca, then do me crawling along a ditch on my stomach, with a telescope in my hand.”

xxx SUBHAM xxx

Rationing Anecdotes (Post No.3741)

Compiled by London swaminathan


Date: 20 March 2017


Time uploaded in London:- 19-59


Post No. 3741


Pictures are taken from various sources; thanks.



Tackling Tyre ration!


A motorist driving through the back country of Vermont stopped at a little gas station and asked for a tankful. He remarked casually to the proprietor

I guess you fellows are all pretty sore at Leon Henderson.

Leon Henderson,? said the old timer

Who is he?

The motorist, looking at him for a moment and then thinking quickly said

Do you sell tyres?

“Sure”, the proprietor said.

“You want some?”

The motorist said, I will take four, paid his money and drove hastily away thanking Providence.



Prophet Flying with Tyre!


A small boy, keenly aware of the transportation problems created by rationing, was looking at a book of Bible illustrations. One of these depicted the Prophet Elijah, Ascending to Heaven in a chariot of fire. He noted the halo above the prophet’s head and cried ,


“Oh ,Mother, Look he is carrying an extra tyre.




Sugar Ration


“Does anyone here” , asked the teacher of the Night School for Adult Education, administering a vocabulary test, “know the meaning of ratiocination?”


“I know, said the young stenographer in the class.

It is what they are doing to sugar”.


((Definition of ratiocination. 1 : the process of exact thinking : reasoning. 2 : a reasoned train of thought)).






Censorship anecdotes (Post No.3738)

Compiled by London swaminathan


Date: 19 March 2017


Time uploaded in London:- 19-02


Post No. 3738


Pictures are taken from various sources; thanks.





We never open letters!


According to John Gunther, an American journalist in Japan wrote to a friend and added the note, “Don’t know if this will ever arrive because the Japanese censor may open it.”

A few days afterward, he received a note from the Japanese post office saying,

“The statement in your letter is not correct. We do not open letters”.




Censored Love Letter


A young lady received a letter from her soldier sweetheart from

‘Somewhere in the Pacific area’.

Upon opening the envelope, she found, instead of a letter, a thin strip of paper bearing the brief message:

“Your boyfriend still loves you, but he talks too much.”

Signed, Censor



Banned Books


The book of Helviteus De l’ Espirit and Voltaire’s poem of La Pucelle d’Orleans were prohibited in Switzerland at the same time. A magistrate of Berne, after a strict search for these two works, wrote the Senate:

“We have not found in the whole province either wit or maid”.



Cervantes’ Whisper


The French ambassador to Spain complemented Cervantes on the great reputation he had acquired by his Don Quixote .

Cervantes whispered in his ear, “Had it not been for the Inquisition, I should have made my book much more entertaining”.




Sales Tricks!


A grim lesson for the exponents of bigoted censorship is contained in the characteristic American press agent story of how the famous picture ‘September Morn’ was popularised.


An art dealer, stuck with a formidable surplus of this lithograph of a nude girl, consulted a well-known press agent Harry Reichenbach .


Reichenbach had many of the pictures placed in the shop window. He then hired a crowd of small children and grouped them around the front of the store. Next, he phoned to Anthony Comestock and hysterically demanded that he come and witness the sordid exhibition of vice and corruption. Comestock came and immediately opened one of his inimitable litigations. In consequence of the publicity resulting from this, 7,000,000 copies of this picture were sold.




Refugees Anecdotes: Hitler’s Rule! (Post No.3734)

Compiled by London swaminathan


Date: 18 March 2017


Time uploaded in London:- 5-51 am


Post No. 3734


Pictures are taken from various sources; thanks.






Many and devious have been the devices employed by refugees seeking to escape from occupied France. It is reported from hitherto unreliable sources, that such a man threw himself upon the mercy of the proprietor of a small travelling menagerie (a collection of wild animals kept in captivity for exhibition.).


“I am afraid to disguise you as an employee”, said the man.

“You might be discovered too easily. It happens that our gorilla died a little over a week ago and we preserved his hide, thinking that we might recoup the loss by having it stuffed some day.


If you want to put it on, you can travel with us in the cage”.


Faced by his desperate need, the refugee did so. And whenever the menagerie was on exhibition he put on as good a show as he could manage.


One night when no one was around, he was horror struck to discover that the bars had become loosened between his own and the adjoining cage on the same truck. One of them had fallen out, and through the opening came his neighbour, the lion. As the animal slunk toward him, the gorilla cringed in the corner and began to cry

“Help! Help!”

“Shut up, you damn fool”, growled the lion

“You aren’t the only refugee.”



Prisoners Anecdotes : Jewish blood to a Nazi Soldier!


Some of the Nazi airmen invite mistreatment by their belligerent attitude. There is the case of the wounded Nazi airman who panned English doctors, bemoaning the fact that he had no good German doctors to fix him up. In the middle of his tirade he had the misfortune to faint.

“Don’t worry”, the doctors told him when he came to.

“You will be alright. The chances are that you will have better manners too, now that you have got a couple of pints of good Jewish blood in you”.




Story: The Brahmin who ate Too Much! (Post No.3714)

Written by London swaminathan


Date: 11 March 2017


Time uploaded in London:- 10-17 am


Post No. 3714


Pictures are taken from various sources; thanks.




I am trying to document all the old stories I have heard or read in the past. This is about the gluttonous Brahmins. People may wonder why they single out Brahmins in such stories. Of course, there are stories about every caste in India.


Feeding Brahmins (Brahmana Bhojanam) was considered a great meritorious (Punya) act; this is because the Neeti Shastras (Law Books) stipulated that the Brahmins should not accumulate any wealth and they should always go begging for alms by reciting the Vedas. So, kings have donated lot of lands to Brahmins so that they survive easily at times of natural catastrophes such as famine, drought, floods. Moreover, Brahmins themselves organised lot of Yagas and Yajnas (Fire Ceremonies) and other Pujas (ritual offerings to Gods) where feeding the Brahmins was done. This gave birth to a type of Brahmins who were gluttons. They can consume enormous quantity of food like a cart puller or a manual labourer.


One day there was a big festival in a village. Hundreds of Brahmins had a great feast on that day. Having done justice to their calling, Brahmins were returning to their respective villages in the afternoon. It happened so that two Brahmin priests travelling in opposite directions, crossed each other at a junction. Thy exchanged some pleasantries and then one of them had a big doubt!

“Oh my god, did I forget my shoes? I don’t feel anything in my feet because of heavy meals. I can’t even bend and look below because of my protruding tummy. Let me ask for some help from this man”, thought one of them. He said to the other Brahmin:

O, friend, do you see a pair of shoes on my feet?

Unfortunately, that Brahmin who had enjoyed a good feeding, was unable to look down at the foot of the Brahmin. He looked here and there and told him:

“What do you think about me? Am I a fool to leave some space in my tummy so that I can bend? Had I got that much space to allow me to bend, I would have consumed two more Vadas!”

(Vadai is a fried doughnut like snack)

He , then, made big burp and went his way!

Such was the helpless condition of the overeating Brahmins!


There is a saying about Brahmins: ‘Brahmana Bojana Priya’ (Brahmins are fond of food)


People use to tease Brahmins by saying, “Oh, that man! he would not know how much to eat in a feast. He always ties around his stomach a piece of thread, and eats until the thread bursts with the distension of the stomach!”

Long live Brahmins!


Three Stories about Stupid Shepherds! (Post No.3701)

Written by London swaminathan


Date: 7 March 2017


Time uploaded in London:- 20-41


Post No. 3701


Pictures are taken from various sources; thanks.




Shepherds of India were uneducated and ignorant. There are lot of stories about their stupid acts. The most famous shepherd story was about Kalidasa. There was a king who had a very educated intelligent, but arrogant daughter. She refused to marry anyone because all of them were defeated by her in debates. The ministers lost their patience. So they were looking for a fool who can be presented as the greatest scholar and thus insult the arrogant princess.


As they were going through the country side they saw a shepherd who was sitting on upper branch of a tree and cutting down the lower part. They got hold of him and trained him in gestures. He learnt the sign language quickly because there were only two signs. They told him that he would get a big reward from the king if used the gestures to answer any question put to him.

The shepherd was taken in a palanquin to present him as the scholar cum prince of a neighbouring country. For every gesture princess showed he used the two gestures he was taught. Since ministers taught him the gestures they had ready  explanations for his gestures. They gave big philosophical explanations for both the gestures. The princess was very much impressed with his scholarship and married him.


During the first night, the princess came to the bridegroom’s chamber. But to her surprise he was fast asleep and snoring! She waited for several hours and yet he did not get up. The princess tried to wake him up by sprinkling some scented water. At that time the shepherd (scholar) was dreaming about his sheep. When he felt the sprinkled water, he was shouting to his sheep (in dream). When she threw some flowers on him, he was saying, “ Get away, you foolish sheep”.


Now the princess knew for sure that something went wrong. She understood that she was married to an idiot. She drew off her sword and woke him. She told him,”Tell me the truth. Who are you? If you do not speak now, I shall kill you.”


He confessed that he was a shepherd and he acted according the ministers’ instructions. Immediately the princess gave him some money and asked him to run away from the palace.


The shepherd felt ashamed and went and slept in a Kali (goddess) temple on his way. He started praying to her to give him true knowledge. Goddess also felt very sorry for him. She knew that he was punished for no fault of his. She asked him to open his mouth and wrote a magic spell on his tongue. From that moment he started composing poems. Later he became the most celebrated poet of India – Kalidasa.


Second Story

But not all the shepherds were as lucky as Kalidasa. There was a shepherd at the foothills of Western Ghats. He followed the trade of his forefathers. One day he missed a lamb when counting his flock. At once he started off in search of his lamb. He wandered about till mid-day. In the afternoon, he felt exhausted and thirsty. He looked down into a well for water holding one of his lambs on his neck. When he looked down into the well he saw his own reflection and the lamb in dim light deep inside the well. He grew angry and shouted, “Oh, robber; I have got you at last. Bring up my lamb, otherwise I will throw huge rocks into the well”. When he stooped down to pick up stones, his lamb on his neck fell into the well. Later he regretted his foolish action.


Shepherd and Robbers!

The third story is about a money lender and a shepherd. There was a money lender in a village who was in the habit of taking money to different villages. On a certain day, he took lot of cash and hired the service of a shepherd to take him through the forest. Shepherds knew those routes very well. Half way through, it became dark and so they had to lie down under a tree. Moneylender was afraid of the robbers and told his shepherd companion to lie down in a place without making any noise. He went to a nearby tree and slept under it. About mid night a gang of robbers passed that way. One of them said: “Look here! take care here is a log of wood lying down on our way; don’t knock against it”.

“You, idiots; Talk sensibly. Am I a log of wood? Will a piece of log in your town have hundred rupees in a piece of cloth around its waist?” – said the shepherd who was lying down. “Oh, here is fellow, catch him!” said the robbers. The shepherd lost his 100 rupees. One of the robbers had some doubt about the currency note. I wonder whether this note is false or true”.


The ignorant shepherd grew angry and shouted at the robbers, “What do you mean? If you have any doubt about the currency note, ask my Chettiar friend who deals with money every day. He is lying there.”


“Ho, ho, there is another person with money, hiding in the bush. Catch him”, sad the robbers. The money lending Chettiyar was caught and beaten unmercifully. He lost all his money.


He returned to his village the following morning, having learnt a bitter lesson by taking an ignorant shepherd as his companion.



More Parliament Anecdotes (Post No.3686)

Compiled by London swaminathan


Date: 3 March 2017


Time uploaded in London:-9-14 am


Post No. 3686


Pictures are taken from various sources; thanks.






One night Burke severely attacked some act s of the Government. George Onslow arose and haughtily said that he must call the honourable member to a sense of his duty and that no man should be suffered in his presence to insult the sovereign.

Burke, in his reply, gravely addressed the Speaker,

“Sir, the honourable member has exhibited much ardour but little discrimination. He should know that, however, I may reverence the King, I am not at all bound, nor at all inclined to extend the reverence to his ministers. I may honour his majesty, but sir, I can see no possible reason for honouring, and he glanced round the treasury bench at Mr Onslow and the other ministers, “His majesty’s man servant and maid servant , his ox and his ass!”.




Hear, hear!


During one of his much admired debates in parliament, Sheridan was annoyed by the persistence of a well meaning fellow, who kept punctuating, by the exclamation,

“Hear, hear”, almost all of his most telling remarks.

In the course of discussion Sheridan took occasion to describe a political enemy as, “wishing to play the rogue but having only sense enough to act the fool. Where”, he cried forcefully,

“where shall we find more foolish knave or a more knavish fool than he?”


“Hear, hear!”, was the annoying response.


Sheridan swung about and thanked him forthwith, sitting down amid a general roar of laughter.




Go to graveyard!

A young peer once asked Disraeli what course of study he had best take to qualify himself for speaking so as to gain the ear of  the House of Lords.

“Have you a grave yard near your house?” asked Disraeli.

“Yes”, was the reply.

“Then, said Disraeli, I should recommend you to visit it early of a morning and practice upon the tomb stones.”





A noble man wished Garrick to be a candidate for the representation of a borough in parliament.

“No, my Lord, said the actor, I would rather play the a part of a great man on the stage than the part of a fool in parliament”.





At one time the House of Commons had sat in a long and ineffectual session. Mr Papham, Speaker of the houses, was summoned by Queen Elizabeth, who said to him,

“Now, Mr Speaker, what has passed in the Commons House?”

He replied, “if it please Your Majesty —seven weeks”.




More Dictator Anecdotes (Post No.3683)

Compiled by London swaminathan


Date: 2 March 2017


Time uploaded in London:-6-46 am


Post No. 3683


Pictures are taken from various sources; thanks.





In the days of Mussolini’s higher prestige, it is said that he was once stranded in a small town due to the breaking down of his automobile. He went into a local cinema. When his picture appeared on the screen every one rose but he remains seated. The manager of the theatre came forward, tapped him on the shoulder, whispering in his ear, I feel the same way but you would better stand up. It is safer.




Calamy, the celebrated Presbyterian minister, on one occasion objected to Cromwell assuming supreme power as Protector, as being in his opinion, both unlawful and Impracticable. Cromwell observed, he cared little about the lawfulness; but why may I ask you is it impracticable?

OH! Observed the divine. It is Impracticable inasmuch as it is against the voice of the people; you will have nine in ten against you.

Very well, sir, replied Cromwell, but what if I should disarm the nine and put the sword into the tenth man’s hand; would that not do the business, think you?

The events which succeeded proved that Cromwell not only entertained the, opinion he thus expressed, but that he also acted upon it.



Frank Gannet, American newspaper publisher, spent three hours one afternoon in No.10, Downing Street, where prime minister Stanley Baldwin cocked his feet on an old fashioned roll top desk, smoked pipe after pipe, and opened his mind to Gannet. Baldwin had already announced in the House of Commons that the frontier of Britain was on the Rhine.

What do you intend to do about that man across the Rhine? Gannet asked.


  • If a python gets out of a cage, replied Baldwin, one man would be a fool to try alone in to get him back. But several men can get him back without much trouble No, we are not going to tackle him alone.



In Italy the underground wiseacres are asking

What is the difference between Christianity and fascism?

The answer is,

In Christianity one man sacrifice s himself for all. Under Fascism all men sacrifice themselves for one.



Mussolini dies and went to Heaven. He received a tremendous ovation. Millions of angels sang and praised him. He was given a crown and put on a great throne. Looking around he was surprised to notice that his crown and his throne were bigger than those of God the Father. Even he was unprepared for this. How is it?he asked of God .

You are greater than I, said God respectfully.

I gave your people one day of fasting a week. You have given them seven. I gave them faith. You have taken it away.



In the year when the 20th anniversary of Fascism was celebrated; a stranger was riding through the streets of Naples in a carriage.

They passed a bakery and he saw a great mob of people storming place. He asked the driver about it, and the cabby, afraid to speak, said that it was a film being made. Not much farther along another mob of people was seen outside a grocery.

What is that? Asked the stranger

The second scene, said the driver.

Further along a similar mob was besieging a butcher.

Without waiting to be asked, the cab driver said,

This is the third scene.

What the name of the picture, anyway? asked the passenger.

Twenty years after, said the driver.


When that late and noble statesman Neville Chamberlain, was about to start from the fatal Munich conference, Herr Hitler said to him

Mr chamberlain, would you be so kind as to give me your umbrella for a keepsake?

No, no, said chamberlain, I can’t do that.

But Mr chamberlain, it would mean so much to me. I request it of you, please!

I am sorry. I can’t oblige you, said chamberlain

Hitter flew into a rage. I insist, he screamed stamping on the prime minister’s foot.

No, said, chamberlain firmly, it is impossible. You see, the umbrella is mine.