Christian Conversion Anecdotes (Post No.4693)

Date: 2 FEBRUARY 2018


Time uploaded in London- 11-59 am


Compiled by London swaminathan


Post No. 4693


Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may not be related to the story. They are only representational.






I gave everything to my sister!


A woman was testifying of her conversion in a revival meeting She said,

I was very foolish and vain. Worldly pleasures, especially the fashions were my only thought,

I was fond of silk, satins, ribbons and laces. But my friends, when I saw they were dragging me down to perdition I gave them all to my sister.




Navy of the Lord!

A young man who had formerly attended Dr Bethune’s meetings , after an absence of a few years called upon him and said,

Dr Bethune, I have become a Christian since I saw you, and have joined the army of the   Lord.

I am very glad to hear it,

said the doctor, and added, with what denomination have you become connected?

The Baptists.

“Oh, the Baptists”, said Dr Bethune,

Why they are not the army, but the Navy of the Lord.

((Baptists are Christians distinguished by baptizing professing believers only (believer’s baptism, as opposed to infant baptism), and doing so by complete immersion (as opposed to affusion or sprinkling))



Brandy is better than Water!

A Methodist in America, bragging how well he had instructed some Indians in religion, asked one of them,

If he had not found great comfort last Sunday after receiving the sacrament.


“Aye, master, replied the savage, but I wished it had been brandy”.

(wine or water or bread is given during sacrament)


Water is Good, but…

George Cruikshank having become a teetotaller, showed all the vehement zeal of a convert. Douglas Jarrold, meeting him, shortly after his conversion, exclaimed,

Now George, remember that the water is very good anywhere except upon the brain



During the Civil war, the late Colonel Gabe Boucher organised a regiment which he controlled as a dictator.

I am a humble servant of the Lord, said an itinerant evangelist who had wandered into camp one day, endeavouring to save the souls of the unfortunate.  I have just left the camp of the Massachusetts, where I was instrumental in leading eight men into paths of righteousness

Adjutant, thundered Colonel Bouch, after a moment’s pause, detail ten men for baptism. Nod — D Massachusetts regiment shall beat mine for piety.”

Xxxx SUBHAM xxx



Compiled by London Swaminathan 


Date: 16 DECEMBER 2017 


Time uploaded in London-  7-58 am



Post No. 4502

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Johann Chrysostom Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart  (1756-1791) was Austrian composer and performer, who showed astonishing precocity as a child and was an adult virtuoso.



Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844-1900) was a German Philosopher who rejected the accepted absolute moral values and the slave morality of Christianity. He argued that God is dead and therefore people were free to create their own values.


Mozart’s retort

A lad once asked Mozart how to write a symphony. Mozart said, “you are a very young man. Why not begin with ballads?”

The aspirant urged, “You composed symphonies when you were ten years old.”

“Yes”, replied Mozart, “but I didn’t ask ‘How?’




When Nietzsche one day observed to Wagner that in ‘Figaro’ Mozart had invented the music of intrigue.

Wagner replied, “On the contrary! In ‘Figaro’ Mozart dissolved the intrigue in music”.

(intrigue: mysterious or fascinating quality)


Fabulous Memory

The composer, Gounod, had a fabulous memory. When he was about 19 he had attended a rehearsal of ‘Romeo et Juliette’ which was still in manuscript and was being directed by the composer, Berlioz. The next day he called upon Berlioz, sat at the piano and proceeded to play the entire finale of the opera from memory.

The composer stared at him in terror and astonishment. Had his work been pirated? Was it some incredible coincidence?

“Where the devil did you get the music?”, he demanded.

“At your rehearsal yesterday,” replied Gunod.



Elegy to George Gershwin

When an American composer, George Gershwin, died, a man of sentiment combined with musical aspirations wrote an elegy in his honour. He sought out Oscar Levant. Reluctantly Levant granted him a hearing. Eagerly the man rendered the piece with his own hands and then turned expectantly toward Levant seeking approbation.


I think it would have been better, Levant said, if you had died and Gershwin had written the elegy.



I was the abominable Creature!

At premiere performance of Caesar Frank’s symphony, the gentle, benign old composer, who had seldom ventured out of his organ loft, was seated in the audience. The stupid and blasé assemblage were hostile to this fine work which did not until later read find its proper appreciation.

One pompous and arrogant woman, who chanced to be seated directly behind the composer, remarked loudly in the interim between two of the movements,

“Who is the creature who writes this abominable music?”

The gentle Frank turned around in his seat and said courteously,

“Madam, it is I”.


Xxx SUBHAM xxx




Opera and Concerts Anecdotes (Post No.4485)

Compiled by London Swaminathan 


Date: 12 DECEMBER 2017 


Time uploaded in London-  19-24



Post No. 4485

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks.



Mouths wide open; eyes staring!

Walking with a friend one day, Fritz Kreisler passed a large fish shop where a fine catch of codfish, with mouths open and eyes staring, were arranged in a row. Kreisler suddenly stopped, looked at them, and clutching his friend by the arm exclaimed,

“Heavens! That reminds me — I should be playing at a concert!”



Hired Audience!

So dependent on the adulation of the audiences was Franz Litsz that he is said to have paid women 25 Franks to faint at the concerts. The swoon was always timed to occur just before the climax of his most popular run. Litsz would stoop from his piano stool , pick up the swooner and leave the rest of the audience impressed by his brilliance and dismayed by their own stolidity. Once, however, the hired fainter forgot to faint. Liszt s fingers flew up the keys — but he could not finish the run. So, he fainted himself!



No Taste for Music


Joseph Choate, the lawyer, had no taste for music. Once he was persuaded by his daughter to accompany her to the opera. He looked at the libretto helplessly and said,

Helen, expound to me this record lest I dilate with the wrong emotion.



True Listeners!


After his concert at a Midwestern town, Paderewski was found backstage in a silent, preoccupied mood. One of his aides asked if he were ill.

No, no, the great musician replied, but some friends were missing. The grey hired couple. They were not in their usual seats in the fourth row.

The aide was surprised. I didn’t know you had friends in this town. Did you know them well?

I knew them very well, explained Penderecki, but I never met them. I liked the way they listened. Every time I have played here for 20 years I have always played for them. He shook his head gravely. I hope there is nothing seriously wrong.



Lower Classes like Music more

According to C R W Nevinson , it was a privilege to paint Mark Hambourg , a dear friend. Never have I met a man with such a gift for penetrating to the heart of things and by the use of a few vivid phrases he will lift any conversation out of the ordinary. I remember sitting beside him in an after dinner concert, when Moiseivitch was playing. The audience, all men and women of culture were anything but attentive, smoking, drinking, coughing, picking wriggling, but the waiters and waitresses stood entranced, their eyes on the master.

Look, said Mark, look at effects of education. It kills all concentration. The lower classes are the only people left who can listen and can respond to the highest emotions.




Audience who don’t know Music! (Post No.4446)

COMPILED by London Swaminathan 


Date: 30 NOVEMBER 2017 


Time uploaded in London-  9-24 am



Post No. 4446

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks.



Instrumentalists  Anecdotes -3 (In the past two days I have posted  many instrumentalists’ anecdotes)



There is a legend which would have it that, when Jascha Heifetz made his triumphant New York debut among the audience were other violinist Mischa Elman and the distinguished pianist Josef Hofmann. The hall was crowded and it was an evening in spring. The concert progressed and the audience was spellbound by the genius of Heifetz. As the music went on, Elman became increasingly nervous and fidgety, running his finger frequently around the inside of his collar and mopping at his forehead with a hand kerchief. In the pause between two selections, he leaned over and whispered to Hofmann

“Awfully hot in here, isn’t it?”

Hofmann smiled and whispered back, “Not for pianists”.



Audience who don’t know music!

Mischa Elman, the violinist, takes delight in telling the following story,

While visiting the friend of a family I was asked to play something to the assembled group of people. For an urchin of seven, as I was at that time, I flatter myself I rattled off Kreutzer Sonata of Beethoven’s finely. The sonata has in it several long and impressive rests. In one of these rests a motherly old lady leaned forward, patted my shoulder and said,

“Please try something you know, dear “



I Don’t Care!

Jascha Heifetz arrived in great haste at Radio city, perilously near being late for a radio concert with the NBC Symphony Orchestra. He hastened into the elevator carrying his violin in its case.

“You will have to go in the freight elevator with that”, said the operator.

“I have no time, said Heifetz, I am in a hurry”.

“I don’t care”,said the operator.

“All musicians with instrument s have got to ride in freight elevator”.

“Look ,said the exasperated musician, I am Jascha Heifetz”.

“I don’t care if you are Rubinoff, said the operator, you have got to ride in the freight elevator”.




Ole Bull, celebrated 18th century Norwegian violinist, was a man of singular and beautiful simplicity of character. He spoke English with much expression and had quaint turn s of dialect as original as they were unstudied. He was describing the grandeur of the hills and fiords of his native land and its deep forests resounding with musical cataracts when someone exclaimed,

“Did you play to them, Ole?”

“No, he replied, I listened “.

Xxxx SUBHAM xxx

Most Famous Violin ‘Thief!’(Post No.4443)

COMPILED by London Swaminathan 


Date: 29 NOVEMBER 2017 


Time uploaded in London-  6-38 am



Post No. 4443

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks.



Violin Practice-14 hours a day for 37 years!

Dr Axel Munthe, seated in the lounge of the Victoria Louise, was enthusiastically hailed by a brother physician.

What a genius you are! Thus the brother physician ended a long eulogy .

But Dr Munthe smiled and said, “A genius,eh? Well at his villa in Biarritz, Sarasate was once called a genius by a famous critic . But Sarasate (Spansih Violinist) frowned and shook his head.

“A genius!”,he said.

“For thirty seven years I have practiced fourteen hours a day, and now they call me a genius!”


Audience knew it!!!

Paderewski once explained that he practiced faithfully every day. If I miss one day s practice,said he, I notice it. If I miss three days, the audience s notice it.




‘Violin Thief!’

Fritz Kreisler, the violinist,found himself in Hamburg one evening with an hour to spare before taking his boat to London.

, where he was to play the following evening. So he wandered into a music shop.

The proprietor asked to see his violin which he carried under his arm. In a moment he disappeared, to reappear with two policemen. One laid his hand on Kreisler s shoulder and said,

“You are under arrest”.

“For what?” Asked Kreisler.

“You have Fritz Kreisler’s violin.”

“Well, I am Fritz Kreisler”.

“Come,come” said the policeman,

“You can’t pull that one on us . Come to the station”.


Kreisler s boat sailed in an hour.

He had to do some quick thinking.

“I looked around, he says, and in the corner, I saw a victrola. I asked the proprietor if he any of Kreisler s records, he produced The Old Refrain, put it on for me and played it through.”

“Now, I said, let me have my violin. Then with whatever skill I may command I played The Old Refrain. When I was through I said, Are you satisfied now?”

With profuse apologies, they bowed him out to freedom.



World’s Greatest Violinist!

It is said that Jescha Heifetz and Mischa Elman were dining together in a restaurant much frequented by artists. The waiter approached the table with an envelope which bore simply the inscription

To the worlds greatest violinist

Heifetz, who has picked it from the tray bowed and handed it across the table and said

“For you,Mischa”

Elman read it and said “No,no” and handed it back

“Something for you,Jascha”.

Thus they shilly shallied back and forth until finally Heifetz was persuaded to open it. He drew out the letter and unfolded it.

It began,” Dear Fritz”.

(Fritz Kreisler was a famous Austrian born violist)

Xxxx SUBHAM xxxx


My Violin Never Fails Me-Paganini (Post No.4441)


COMPILED by London Swaminathan 


Date: 28 NOVEMBER 2017 


Time uploaded in London- 18-27



Post No. 4441

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks.


Instrumentalists Anecdotes

Dull wit becomes a Genius!

Once when Paderewski played before queen Victoria, the sovereign exclaimed with enthusiasm,

“Mr Paderewski ,you are a genius !”

“Ah, Your Majesty, perhaps, but before I was a genius , I was a drudge.”



Violin and Guitar

Sam Ward told this story of Paganini,

The master held a guitar across his lap,

Your young friend is musical?,enquired he.

Fanatico!, replied Gear.

Then he shall hear me practice for tomorrow night’s concert

Taking the guitar he converted that little understood instrument into an orchestra of bewildering and harmonic sonority. Now it seemed a battle, with the clash of swords, shouts of combatants, the roll of the drum. Then wails of pain and grief appeared to emerge from the sounding board over which his fingers flew like what the westerners call greased lightning. The performance lasted perhaps half an hour, and the dampness of his dishevelled locks indicate d the intensity of the emotion and the exertions that expressed it.

When the mastero received, with a sad smile, our frantic applause, I inquired whether he was going to rehearse on the violin for the morrow. He shook his head, I never rehearse the violin. My practice is the gymnastics of the guitar, to be sure of my suppleness of finger and delicacy of touch. My violin never fails me.



Who is a good pianist?

Paderewski was once traveling incognito through Germany. He stopped for the night at a small in the Black Forest. In the main room of the inn was an old battered piano. Paderewski asked the landlord if he might try it. Upon doing so he found that the instrument was not only badly out of tune but that a number of the keys were stuck and would strike no sound at all. He remarked upon this to the landlord. The latter, offended  at the criticism of his piano replied, if you were a good pianist you could skip over those keys so it wouldn’t matter.



Get Married!

A young lady called one day on Rubinstein,the great pianist, who had consented to listen to her playing.

What do you think that I should do now?, she asked when she had finished.

Get married, was Rubinstein’s answer.

Xxxx Subham xxx



Bernard Shaw, Shelley, Byron Swimming Anecdotes (Post No.4396)

Written by London Swaminathan 


Date: 14 NOVEMBER 2017


Time uploaded in London- 18-26



Post No. 4396

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks.


Although unable to swim Shelley was forever invading pools and streams…. one day when Trelawney, a powerful swimmer, jumped into a deep pool in the Arno, Shelley immediately jumped in after him and lay ‘like a conger eel on the bottom’ till Trelawney fished him up with great difficulty, Shelley protesting as soon as he could breathe that ‘truth lay always at the bottom of the well’ and that in another minute I should have found it.



Impressing upon his class an admiration for notable feats of physical prowess the teacher related the experience of a vigorous man who swam three times across a broad river in the morning, before breakfast.

There was a giggle from one of the youngsters in the class.

“Well”, said the teacher with some irritation

“What is that it seems so amusing? I see nothing amusing”.

“It’s only this sir, replied the pupil

I was wondering why he didn’t make it four times and get back on the side where he left his clothes”.



Swimming in the Desert!

A certain American soldier, attached to one of the American Tank units fighting with the British in the Libyan campaign, had been carried by the exigencies of the service many miles deep into the heart of desert with his comrades. This outpost of the Front had been quiet for days. The soldier found himself one afternoon with a few hours leave.

It was with some surprise that his commanding officer spotted the man striding purposefully across the sands clad in his bathing trunks.

“Murphy! Shouted the officer in some astonishment. Where in blazes do you think you are going?”

Why, sir, said the soldier, I just thought while I had a couple of hours off I would take a dip in the surf.

Are you crazy? demanded the officer. The ocean is 500 miles from here!

“Beautiful big beach, isn’t it?” said the soldier.




Shelley- Byron Argument!

The greatest and most mysterious of all Shelley s preoccupation s was with water, boat and swimming. He was apparently fascinated by water as a great element, and time and again prophesied his death by drowning. But it was typical of Shelley’s humourless absolutism where his fancy was involved that he was without fear in the business, and never troubled to learn either to navigate or to swim.


In 1816 the friendship that sprang up with Byron at Geneva was based partly on mutual literary admiration, and partly on their common love of boating. Byron knew something of sailing and navigation and they took a trip together around the lake in an open boat. They nearly foundered in a sudden storm one night. After Byron, had got the sail down and while the water poured in and the wind roared in darkness, they sat in furious argument, Byron, proud of his power as a swimmer, declaring that he would save Shelley when they sank, Shelley equally determined that he would not be saved.



Following was published by me under the 15 Anecdotes from Bernard Shaw’s Life

G B Shaw Helped a youth


Bernard Shaw was enjoying a swim in a pool during a stay in South Africa; so were some boys who knew nothing of the august author one small boy was “dared” by his playmates to “duck the old man” for a Shilling. He accepted, but when he was close to his victim, panic seized him. Shaw turned, saw the youngster, and asked him what he wanted. In halting accents, the boy revealed the plot and the shilling bet.

“Well”, said Shaw, looking sternly at the youngster, “if you wait a moment while I get my breath, I will let you push my head under water.

He did, and the small boy swam back triumphantly to collect his shilling.




‘Papa, Abraham Lincoln is not Ugly!’ Homeliness Anecdotes (Post No.4377)


Written by London Swaminathan 


Date: 8 NOVEMBER 2017


Time uploaded in London- 17-24



Post No. 4377

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks.



Lincoln’s great love for children easily won their confidence. A little girl, who had been told that the president was very homely, was taken by her father to see the President at the White House.


Lincoln took her upon her knee and chatted with her a moment in his merry way, when she turned to her father and exclaimed

Oh Papa ! He is not ugly at all; he is just beautiful.




Abraham Lincoln delighted to tell stories about himself. One of his favourites was the following:


” In the days w a I used to be on the circuit (travelling from one county court to another on horse back ) I was once accosted by s stranger, who said

Excuse me, sir, but I have an article which belongs to you

How is that? I asked, considerably astonished.

The strange r took a jack knife from his pocket.

This knife, he said, was placed in my hands some years ago, with the injunction that I was to keep it until I found a man homlier looking than I am myself. I have carried it from that time until this; allow me to say ,sir, you are fairly entitled to the property.




An acquaintance came to Jerrold and said indignantly

I hear you said my nose was like the ace of club s!

Jerrold looked thoughtful.

No,  I did not, he drawled;

But now that I look at it, I see it is– very like.”





Said the brash travelling salesman to the farmer,

My God, that is certainly a homely woman!

“That is my wife, young man, said the farmer, and you might remember that beauty is only skin deep ”

Then, said the salesman, for Heavens sake, skin her!”





The day following the adjournment of the Baltimore Convention, at which President Lincoln was renominated, various political organisations called to pay their respects. While the Philadelphia delegation was being presented, the chairman of that body, in introducing one of the members said,

Mr President, this is Mr S of the second district of our state, a most active and earnest friend of yours and the cause. He has,among other things, been good enough to paint and present to our league room s a most beautiful portrait of your self.”

President Lincoln took the gentleman s hand in his, and shaking it cordially said, with a merry voice,

I presume, sir, in painting your beautiful portrait, you took your idea of me from my principle s and not from my person.”




A farmer, making his nightly rounds, saw a shadowy figure holding a lantern and standing somewhat furtively by the side of the house.

Knowing that all his family was in the house, he shouted,

Hey, there. Who are you?

Holding the lantern head high, the figure laughed and said,

“It is only me, Albert.”


Why I thought you were in bed long ago. What are you doing out so late?


Well, said Albert, shifting about a bit as though in embarrassment, I am courting, Annie


The farmer chuckle d. Why, the lantern? Why, when I was courting my missus, I didn’t take a lantern.


The young man hesitated for a minute, then said in all seriousness,

Yes, sir. I know. We can all see that, sir.”


Xxxx SUBHAM xxx




Written by London Swaminathan


Date: 31 October 2017


Time uploaded in London- 18-41



Post No. 4354

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks.

Boner = Stupid Mistake


Cockroach on your time!

While shown the sights of Chicago by the Mayor of that city, M Cambon, the French ambassador of another generation, expressed his thanks for the Mayor s kindness.

But, he added, “I am sorry so to cockroach on your time”.

“Oh ,answered the Mayor, don’t think of that. But you don’t mean cockroach M.Cambon; it is ‘encroach’, you mean” .

“Oh, is it? I see a difference in gender”.


Oath and Bath!

As is usual, during public events of any kind, the newspapers hurriedly set up their front pages to describe the inauguration of Theodore Roosevelt .

The evidence of this haste was shown by a New York newspaper which described the event as follows,

I”t was a scene never to be forgotten when Roosevelt before the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court and a few witnesses, took his simple bath”.



Cold and Coed!

Every newspaper makes its more or less amusing or more or less disastrous typographical errors in headlines or stories. Usually, when this occur, they must be corrected, if caught, in subsequent editions. It is said recently one of the most important newspapers in Washington reported on its front page a mild a disposition of President Roosevelt with the headline

President kept to Rooms by Coed.

Most of the run had been printed and had to be destroyed.

The President, however, heard of the matter and procured from the paper in question several copies to distribute to his friends.



Hiliad and Hodessey of Homer

A man stopped at the shop of a Cockney book seller and asked for Omar Khayyam.

Sorry sir, said the cockney, we ‘hve ‘is  Hilliad and ‘is Hodessey but not ‘is Kayyam.



President’s French!

Benjamin Franklin, being present at the meeting of some literary society in Paris where many pieces were read, and not well understanding the French when declaimed, but wishing to appear polite , resolved to applaud when he should see a lady of his acquaintance, Mme d. Bouffiers, express satisfaction.  After the reading was over, his little boy said to him, But, Grandpa, you always applauded, and louder than anybody else, when they were praising you.



Reputation Anecdotes! (Post No. 4271)

Compiled by London Swaminathan


Date: 4 October 2017


Time uploaded in London- 18-08


Post No. 4271

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks.



Police Never knew me!

An Irishman was charged with a petty offence. Have you anybody here who can vouch for your charcter?, said the judge.

Yes, Your Honour, the sheriff there can.


(Sheriff= law enforcement officer)

Why, I do not even know this man, exclaimed the sheriff.

Observe, Your Honour!, said the Irishman triumphantly, that I have lived 12 years in this country and the sheriff doesn’t even know me.




Enrico Caruso= Robinson Crusoe!

It is humbling, to all men of note to find themselves at sometime outside of the spheres in which their talent and fame are known, and to see themselves as lesser individuals.

(Enrico Caruso= famous Opera singer)

The great Enrico Caruso once stopped at a farm during a drive through the country. He obtained water and something to eat, and while he was talking in a friendly way with the farmer, the latter chanced to inquire his name. He said his name was Caruso. Instantly the farmer was transfixed.

What an honour, he said what an honour to have in my own house that great traveller, Robinson Crusoe.




Businessman of Doubtful Reputation!

One of the powerful figures in Wall Street fell in love with an actress and for many months danced constant attendance upon her and squired her about in the fashionable circles of town.

Deciding to marry her, he first prudently put a private detective to the job of looking into the antecedents in order to guard himself against any rash mistake. At last he received his agent’s report.

(Squire= nobleman acting like an attendant to someone)


Miss Blank enjoys an excellent reputation. Her past is spotless. Hr associates have been irreproachable. The only breath of scandal is that in recent months, she has been much seen in the company of a businessman of doubtful reputation.