Compiled by London swaminathan

swami_48@yahoo.com

Date: 24 JULY 2019

British Summer Time uploaded in London – 16-37

Post No. 6674

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The official board of the church had called a meeting in order to seek a means of raising funds for much needed repairs. The little was literally falling apart and the pastor, stirred by a very real emotion, having been connected with this parish for nearly twenty years, made a moving speech.

Great was his and other members’ surprise when the most miserly member of the board rose and offered to start the fund with a contribution of five  dollars . as he spoke a bit of plaster fell and hit him on the head. A trifle dazed, he rose again and said,

Reckon I would better make that fifty dollars.

From the back of the hall came a pleading voice,

Hit him again ,Lord!”

Xxx

Expense Bill

The vicar of St John Church in Waterloo, England, , contrieved an original way of dispensing with annual church bazaars. To all te embers of his congegation, he sent the following bill:

Bus fare……. Admission,,,,,,,,,,,,, Wear and tear on clothes and tempers………… Tea……….. Useless articles,,,,,,,,,Total,,,,,,,,,,,,,please remit”.

The sums received were in excess of any previously raised.

Xxxx

Do you want 5 Dollar Sermon or One Dollar Sermon?

“Brdren”, said a darky miniter down South,

Bruden ,

I’se got a five dollar seron an two dollar semon an a one dollar sermn, an’ I want dis here indelicate audience to take up a collection s to which one  ob dem dey can afford to hear”.

Xxx

In the church meeting the suggestion the suggestion had been made and well received that a drive be undertaken to raise money to buy a chandelier for the church. A crusty old elder, however, arose and said,

It’s a tomfoolery and extravagant frippery. It will not only cost to buy the durn thing and install it, but next we will have to hire somebody to play it.”

Xxx Subham xxx