WIFE BEATING HUSBANDS AND POLYGAMY ANECDOTES (Post No.5007)

Compiled by London Swaminathan 

 

Date: 13 May 2018

 

Time uploaded in London – 15-47 (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 5007

 

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Henry William Anglesea, a British peer and soldier who died in 1854, was angrily beating his wife. She pointed to a house maid and cried out,

“How much happier is that wench than I am?”

Her husband immediately kicked the maid downstairs and then said,

“Well, there is at least one grievance removed”.

 

xxx

Late one night a drunken husband, after spending his whole time at his cub, set out for home.

“Well”, said he to himself, “if I find my wife up I will scold her; what business she has to sit up, wasting fire and light, eh? and if I find her in bed, I will scold her; what right she has to go to bed before I get home?”

 

xxx

A Mormon acquaintance once inveigled Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy. After he had been beaten about the ears with long and tedious expositions justifying the practice, the climax was capped by the Mormon’s demand that he cite any passage of scripture expressly forbidding polygamy.

“Nothing easier”, Mark replied.

“No man can serve two masters”.

xxx

In his old age, after he quit the war path, Quanah Parker, the famous chief of the Comanches, adopted many of the Whiteman’s ways. But in one respect he clung to the custom of his fathers. He continued to be a polygamist.

He was a friend and admirer of Theodore Roosevelt and on one occasion when Roosevelt was touring Oklahoma, he drove out to Parker’s camp to see him. With pride Parker pointed out that he lived in a house like a white man, that his children went to a white man’s school, and he himself dressed like a white man.

 

Whereupon Roosevelt was moved to preach him a sermon on the subject of morality. “See here chief, why don’t you set your people a better example? A white man has only one wife, he is allowed only one at a time . Here you are living with five squaws. Why don’t you give four of them and remain faithful to the fifth?”

 

Parker stood still a moment, considering the proposition. Then he answered: You are my great white father, and I will do as you wish – on one condition.”

 

“What is the condition?” Roosevelt asked.

“You pick out the one I am to live with and then you go and kill the other four.”

–Subham–

 

 

 

MOTHER IN LAW and WIVES ANECDOTES (Post No.4996)

Compiled by London Swaminathan 

 

Date: 10 May 2018

 

Time uploaded in London – 7-33 am (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 4996

 

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WARNING: PLEASE SHARE MY ARTICLES; BUT DON’T SHARE IT WITHOUT AUTHOR’S NAME AND THE BLOG NAME. BE HONEST; OTHERS WILL BE HONEST WITH YOU

 

One of the witticisms of Lord Russel of Killowen was his answer to a question from a distinguished counsel who asked what the heaviest penalty for bigamy was.

Two mothers-in-law, said Russel promptly.

xxx

Grand Canyon!

When Marshal Foch visited the Grand Canyon, Colonel John R.White, who spoke French fluently, hung breathlessly on Marshall’s words as he turned to him after a long scrutiny of the depths below.

Now, thought the colonel, I shall hear something worthy of passing along to my children and my grand children.

Observed the Marshal, What a beautiful place to drop one’s mother in law!

xxx

 

Cato, the Elder!

Roman Senator Cato, the Elder (243 BCE) , having buried his wife married a young woman. His son came and to him and said,

Sir, in what have I offended that you have brought a step-mother in to your house?

Nay, son, answered the old man,

Quite the contrary; you please me so well that I should be glad to have more such.

 

xxx

Loyalty is too dangerous!

Loyalty sometimes proves embarrassing. A case in point is that of the wife whose husband was unusually late, who wired to five of his friends,

Jack not home. Is he spending night with you?

The unfortunate Jack arrived home shortly afterwards, and was followed by five telegrams all saying YES!

xxx

No sympathy is needed!

I have no sympathy, bellowed the judge, for a man who beats his wife.

That is right your Honor, said the policeman who stood beside the culprit ,

Any man who can beat his wife don’t need Sympathy.

xxx

Impotent!

A man, being suspected of impotency, met a friend one day, who had railed him on it, to whom he said,

My good Sir, for all your wit, my wife was yesterday brought to bed.

What of that, said his friend, nobody ever suspected your wife.

xxx

Hen pecked Husbands!

Well, said Lincoln, on a certain occasion, I feel about that a good deal as a man whom I will call Jones whom I once knew, did about his wife. He was one, and had the reputation of being badly hen pecked. At last one day his wife was seen switching him out of the house. A day or two after, a man met him in the street and said,

Jone, I have always stood up for you, as you know; but I am not going to do it any longer. Any man who stood quietly and take a switching from his wife deserves to be horseworshipped.

Jones looked up with a wink, patting his friend on the back.

Now, don’t, said he; why it didn’t hurt me any: and you have no idea what a power of good it did Sarah Ann!

xxx Subham xxx