Compiled by London swaminathan

Date: 15 JULY 2018

Time uploaded in London – 9-33 am  (British Summer Time)

Post No. 5230

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Politeness, Stupidity and Practical Joking Anecdotes!

Henry Clay and John Randolph had had a violent quarrel in the Senate. For a long time they did not speak when they encountered one another outside.

It chanced one day that they found themselves confronted with one another at a narrow point created by repairs underway on the sidewalk. They stood silently for a moment, faced by the question of which was to step aside and let the other pass.
At last Randolph said haughtily,
“I never turn out for scoundrels”
“I always do”, said Clay, stepping politely out into the mud, giving Randolph the right of way.
Xxxx

Practical Joking: Lady’s Ignorance!

Turner, the famous British painter, was much irritated by the fashionable ladies who talked pretentiously about the masters. One day when such a woman was gushing ignorantly about Cimabue (Italian Painter),

Turner interrupted,

“Do you seriously think, your ladyship, that any of his works can compare with those of great Florentine , Mortadella da Bologna?”

Nothing daunted the lady replied,

“But how much better is Cimabue’s colour?”

“Not if you are a connoisseur of Italian sausages, Madame?”
Politely purred the painter to the general hilarity.

Xxx
Brahm’s Joke!
Brahms once took the most elaborate pains to hoax Gustav Nottebhom, the famous Beethoven scholar. The poverty stricken scholar often  strolled with him in the Prater , and habitually bought his cold supper there from a certain cheese and sausage peddler.

Kalbeck ammusingly reports how one evening he received his victuals wrapped in old music paper covered with crabbed notes, apparently in Beethoven’s hands . Fighting down his excitement, he marched to the next lamppost, unfolded the paper, examined it carefully through his spectacles , smoothed it and without a word shoved it into his Pocket .

The cheese he kept in his hand and ate as he walked, assuring the others that he was unusually hungry that day. And never did he drop a paper, the subject seemed to warm him up and soon he syllabled about his find—to the huge disappointment of the company who had been let by Brahms into the secret.

For the mysterious sheet contained a variation of the latest popular song hit. That rascal Brahms fabricated it in masterly imitation of Beethoven’s hen scratches, and enjoined the peddler to wrap it around the professors cheese!

Xxxx

Hell? Why use dynamite when insect powder will do?
Rough and Ready Anecdote

When Carter Glass first began to make himself heard in 1913, in caucuses of his party in the Senate, he talked rather ponderously and frigidly. On one such-occasion, the subject seemed to warm him up and soon he was not only emphatic but pugnacious. At this point one of his partisans in the caucus shouted

“Give them hell”, Carter.
Mr Glass’s reply has become historic.
Hell? Why use dynamite when insect powder will do?
Xxx

Stupidity Anecdotes

The story is told about a wealthy man who was desirous of building a luxurious hunting lodge in the North Wood s of Wisconsin. After having his plans drawn up a famous architect, he dispatched them to a local carpenter with instructions to go ahead and build it according to the blue prints.
Scarcely a day had passed when a post card arrived at the rich man’s house saying the plans is all wron . I can’t do anything till you get them straightened out.
Being in a hurry to get the house finished, the man sent a letter post haste assuming the local workman that the plans were all right and to proceed as ordered.
By return mail came the following,
“I don’t aim to saw a plank until I get the plans straightened out. Why if I was to build that house the way its laid out here you  would have two bathrooms.
Xxx SUBHAM xxx