Compiled by london swaminathan

Date: 29 June 2016

Post No. 2928

Time uploaded in London :–  17-47

( Thanks for the Pictures)

DON’T REBLOG IT AT LEAST FOR A WEEK!  DON’T USE THE PICTURES; THEY ARE COPYRIGHTED BY SOMEONE.

(for old articles go to tamilandvedas.com OR swamiindology.blogspot.com)

Dead Fish Smell

William K.Vanderbilt was fond of telling the following story on himself.

He once observed to his valet that a towel he was using did not seem clean. The man replied that the towels had been done by the regular laundry.

But, Vanderbilt said, “this one smells like dead fish”.

“Well sir”, replied his man, “perhaps you have used it previously”.

Xxx

Kind Servant!

Mrs.Dean William Howells, wife of the noted novelist, had hired a girl to do the house work. Several weeks passed and from seeing her master constantly about the house, the girl received an erroneous impression.

“Excuse me, Mrs Howells”, she said to her mistress one day, “but I would like to say something”.

“Well, Mary?”

The girl flushed and fumbled with her apron,

“Well, you pay me four dollars a week….”

“I can’t really pay you anymore”, interrupted Mrs. Howells apologetically.

“It is not that”, hastily answered the girl , “but I am willing to take three till Mr.Howells lands a job”.

Xxx

I don’t know! I don’t know!!

A married couple, returning from Europe, became interested in attractive red cheeked Finnish girl in the steerage. They found that she was coming to America to look for work and decided to offer employment.

“Can you cook?”, they asked.

“No, said the girl, my mother always did the cooking”.

“Well, they said, then you can do the house work?”

“No,said she, I don’t know how. My oldest sister always did the housework”.

“Well, then we could let you take care of the children.”

“No, I couldn’t do that. My youngest sister always took care of the children”.

“Well, can you do the sewing?”

“No, said the girl, my aunt always did the sewing”.

“What can you do?, cried the despairing couple.”

The girl was quite bright and cheerful as she volunteered, “I can milk reindeer”.

Xxx

Empty Fruit Shell

Entering the kitchen one evening the lady of the house was amazed to see her cook, who was going home for the night, packing some empty grapefruit hulls into her black bag. Completely mystified at this procedure and curious to find out the reason for it, she asked,

Mandy, why in the world do you take the trouble to carry home those empty grapefruits?

“Well, madam, I admit that they ain’t any use to me. But they sure make my garbage look stylish”.

Xxx

Drunk Everyday!

The Count de Mirabeau, brother of the celebrated orator, one morning called his valet to him,

You are faithful, said he, you are jealous, in short, I am satisfied with your services, but I give you your dismissal.

On what account? naturally inquired the valet.

Notwithstanding our agreement, you get drunk on the same days as I do ,said Mirabeau.

It is not my fault, replied the valet, you get drunk every day.

—Subham–