Compiled  by London Swaminathan

Date: 14 November 2016

Time uploaded in London: 12-35

Post No.3354

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‘Back’ to the Bench!

Knowing  his client to be innocent, the defence lawyer rested his case in the assurance that all would be well. Great was his astonishment when the justice of the court pronounced the man guilty, and imposed a fine of fifty dollars and a jail sentence.

The lawyer deliberately turned his chair so that his back was to the bench.

“Fine me too”, he said in a loud voice.

Why?, asked the justice.

For contempt

Bewildered, the justice said, Contempt? But you haven’t said a word.

Exactly, My contempt is silent”.

Xxx

DOG MURDER!

A sentry near one of the army camps on Long Island was bitten by a valuable dog from one of the neighboring estates, and in self-defence drove his bayonet into the animal. The owner brought charges against him to retrieve its value and the evidence showed that the sentry had not been badly bitten.

“Why did you not knock the dog with the butt end of your rifle asked the judge. The sentry clinched his case by replying, “Why didn’t he bite me with his tail?”

xxx

Wife desertion!

“I feel very strongly on this subject and must deal severely with you,” began the Judge, in his address to Sam, who was in court on a charge of wife desertion.

“But, Boss, you don’t understand,” protested the Negro.

“You don’t know my old woman. I ain’t no deserter. I’se a refugee!”

xxxx

Deaf men Case

A deaf man went to law with another deaf man, and the judge was much deafer than either. One of them asserted that the other owed him five months’ rent, and the other said that his opponent had been grinding corn at night to avoid the tax.

The judge looked at them and said, “Why are you quarrelling; She is your mother; you must both support her.

Xxxx SUBHAM xxxxx