Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!……Laughter is the Best Medicine!

M twain 2

Don’t Reblog it for a week. Pictures are copyrighted by someone else. Don’t use them. When you use the matter, you must not remove the author’s name and blog name.

Compiled by London swaminathan

Date : 9 September  2015

Post No. 2142

Time uploaded in London: –  20-30

Mark Twain once encountered a friend at the races who said, “I am broke. I wish you would buy me a ticket back to town.”

Twain said, “Well, I am pretty broke myself but, I will tell you what to do. You hide under my seat and I will cover you with my legs.” It was agreed and Twain then went to the ticket office and bought two tickets. When the train was underway and the supposed stowaway was snug under the seat, the conductor came by and Twain gave him the two tickets.

“Where is the other passenger?” asked the conductor.

Twain tapped on his forehead and said in a loud voice, “That is my friend’s ticket. He is little eccentric and likes to ride under the seat.”

hogarth

Painting of the Red Sea!

A miserly old nobleman wanted Hogarth (Famous English painter) to paint on his staircase a picture of the destruction of Pharaoh’s hosts in the Red Sea. He did so much haggling over the price that Hogarth finally agreed to do the work for about half what it was worth. After two day’s work, to the surprise of the nobleman, Hogarth said the picture was ready. When the curtain was removed there was nothing to be seen but the canvas was painted red all over.

“Zounds!” cried the miser. “What have you here? I ordered a scene of the Red Sea!”

“The Red Sea you have”, replied the artist.

“But where are the Israelites?”

“They are all gone over.”

“And where are the Egyptians?”

“They are all drowned”.

Kipling1977CF

Kipling outwitted!

In the days of Kipling’s most popular vogue, his literary works yielded him great sums.

An American wit once wrote to him, “I hear that you are retailing literature for $1-00 a word. I enclose $1-00, for which please send me a sample.”

Keeping the dollar, Kipling wrote, “Thanks.”

Shortly afterward, he received another letter from his correspondent saying, “Sold the ‘Thanks’ anecdote for $2-00. Enclosed please find 45 cents in stamps, being half the profits on the transaction, less postage.”

books picture2

How to Dispose of Dull Books?

It is said that Dr Clyde Miller of Columbia University has his way of disposing of dull books occasionally sent to him by publishers. He sends them on to friends with a note, ostensibly from the author, saying, “I hope you will be pleased by the references made to you in this volume, and hope that you will not have any objection to this use of your name.” Dr.Miller takes pleasure in the vision of his friends searching vainly through the books for the allusions to them.

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