Post No. 11,739
Date uploaded in London – – 2 FEBRUARY 2023
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Marriage is not an instinct but an institution based on an instinct. While we are under a biological necessity to mate and perpetuate our kind as birds and animals, we can make it as the basis of marriage of minds the interplay of the inmost thoughts and feelings of two human beings. The adjustment of two personalities to a common way of life is full of delights and difficulties, reconciliation s and disagreements. Marriage is not to be regarded as a temporary association to be dissolved at the fancy of the parties. There is a good deal to be said for the ideal of wife as ardhangi .
The Greek myth represents that human beings were originally composed of a man and a woman that some god divided each being in two and these separated halves are continuously searching for one another. To look upon husband and wife as complementaries which make up a whole is the true implication of married life. ——By S Radhakrishnan
Foreword in the book Women in Rigveda by BS Upadhyaya
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GSS on Marriages
Gatha Sapta Sati (GSS) , the Prakrit anthology has some songs celebrating marriage .on the approach of the marriage of a girl, females used to sing auspicious songs loudly 7-43 and there in the female singers mentioned the name of the wound be groom to the delight of the bride 7-42. The fourth day ceremony after the marriage indicates the first separation of the groom and the bride from each other 7-44
In a description of marriage between Hara and Parvati there is a reference to the wearing of bracelets even by the groom 1-69
Look here! The horripilation on the person of the wound be bride who directs her ear to the uttered name of the bridegroom wishes as if to listen to the songs sung by the female singers at the auspicious ceremony 7-42
I think the cane bowers along with those young men laugh at me hearing the auspicious loud songs sung in connection with my imminent marriage ceremony 7-43
Her hands and those of the bridegroom which are particularly clasped fast in view of the future separation on the coming fourth day ceremony after marriage weep with on the person of the would be bride tears as it were in the shape of their sweats 7-44
It is indeed a mystery as to why the company of a new bride is so dear,although she doesn’t direct her sight towards her husband s face, nor does she allow herself to be touched by him, nor does she talk of anything to him. 7-45
The female friends of Parvati could recognise her good fortune at the time of her marriage by placing hand on hand of the couple, when Pasupati removed at a distance from his hand his bracelet formed of the Vasuki snake 1-69 GSS
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Chanakya
“A wise man should marry a girl of a good family, though she be ugly, and not the beautiful one (the daughter) of a lowly family. Marriage has to be in a matching family”-
chapter 1, sloka 14 of Chanakya Niti.
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Tamil Jain poets
Marriage is throwing Stones at you!
Naladiyar, the didactic book has 400 verses composed by Jain saints of Tamil Nadu who were great Tamil scholars. Here are two poems opposing marriage:
“Since it is a hard thing for a husband to reject his wife though she may neither have borne children nor have a good disposition, the wise have, on account of the misery entailed by matrimony, called it a thing to be eschewed – Naladiyar verse 56.
“Though one is advised to eschew marriage, he eschews it not; though the sound of death-drum pierces his ear , he heeds it not. He moreover takes in another wife and indulges in the delusion of matrimonial pleasures. These the wise say ‘ like one stoning himself’ “- Naladiyar 364
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Manu Smrii
“The nuptial ceremony is considered as the complete institution of women, ordained for them in the Veda, together with reference to their husbands (Manu, ii. 67.)
Love Marriage in not wrong!
“Three years let a damsel wait, though she be marriageable; but, after that term, let her choose for herself a bridegroom of equal rank.
If, not being given in marriage, she chooses her bridegroom, neither she nor the youth chosen commit any offence.
But a damsel, thus electing her husband, shall not carry with those her the ornaments which she received from her father, nor given by her mother or brethren: if she carries them away, she commits theft (Manu, ix. 90-92.)
A thirty year old man should marry a twelve year old girl who charms his heart, and a man of twenty four, an eight year old girl; and if duty is threatened, he should marry in haste.
A husband takes his wife as a gift from the gods, not by his own wish; he should always support a virtuous woman, thus pleasing the gods- 9-94-96
Don’t marry Talkative Girl!
“Let him not marry a girl with reddish hair, nor with any deformed limb, nor one troubled with habitual sickness, nor one either with no hair or with too much, nor one immoderately talkative, nor one with inflamed eyes.
“Let him choose for his wife a girl whose form has no defect, who has an agreeable name, who walks gracefully, like a swan, or like a young elephant, whose hair and teeth are moderate respectively in quality and in size, whose body has exquisite softness.” (iii. 8 and 10).
or the first marriage of the twice born classes, a woman of the same class is recommended; but for men who are driven by desire to marry again women in the direct order of the classes are to be preferred. (iii. 13)
Five people go to hell!
“He who makes a marriage contract with the connubial fire, whilst his elder brother continues un married, is called a parivetru and the elder brother a parivitti. The parivetru, the parivitti, the damsel thus wedded, the giver of her in wedlock and fifthly, the performer of the nuptial sacrifice, all sink to a region of torment (Manu, iii. 171, 172.)
–SUBHAM—
Tags- Wedding, Marriage, quotations, Manu, Dr Radhakrishnan, Naladiyar, Chanakya
Tamil and Vedas 