Compiled by London swaminathan

Date: 3 JULY 2018

Time uploaded in London –   12-11 (British Summer Time)

Post No. 5176

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Lincoln was told of a profound historian.
“It may be doubted whether any man of our generation has plunged more deeply into the sacred fount of learning”
“Yes or come up drier”, said Lincoln.
Xxx

Great Bore!

One day one of the greatest bores of the Players Club said to Oliver Hereford,
“Oliver, I have been grossly insulted. Just as I passed that group over there I over heard someone say he would give me fifty dollars to resign from the club”.
“Hold out for a hundred, counselled Mr. Herford, you will get it.”

Xxx

JOHNSON READY TO WAIT

A gentleman who introduced his brother to Dr Johnson was desirous of recommending him to his notice; which he did by saying,
When we sat together sometime, you will find my brother growing very interesting.”
Sir. Said Dr Johnson
“I can wait”.
Xxx

PIN Without Head or Point

To a very thin man who had been boring him, Douglas Jerold said,
“Sir,you are like a pin, but without either it’s head or it’s point.”
Xxx

ARISTOTLE AND CHATTERBOX
An impertinent chatterbox, entertaining Aristotle, the philosopher, with a tedious discourse and observing that he did not much regard him, made an apology, that he was afraid he had interrupted him.

‘No really’, replied the philosopher, ‘you have not interrupted me at all , for I have not minded one word you said’.
Xxx

TIRESOME

Talleyrand was asked if a certain authoress whom he had long since known, but who had belonged rather to the last ag , was not, a little tiresome.
‘Not at all, said he, she was perfectly tiresome’.

Xxx

SLEEPY NOVELS

Sir Walter Scott’s faithful servant Tom said to him one day,
Them are fine novels of yours; they are invaluable to me. When I come home very tired, and take up , one of them , I am asleep directly.

Xxxx

Only One Idea!

Speaking of a dull, tiresome fellow whom he chanced to meet, DrJohnson said,
“That fellow seems to possess but one idea, and that is a wrong one”.

Xxx
The modest Joseph Addition was accused by a lady of being dull and heavy in conversation.
Madam, he replied, with great dignity, I have only nine pence in my pocket, but I can draw for a thousand pounds.
Xxxxx  SUBHAM xxx