Curiosity and Cynicism Anecdotes (Post No.3856)

Compiled by London swaminathan

Date: 27 APRIL 2017

Time uploaded in London:- 9-11 am

Post No. 3856

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What made the deepest impression upon you? inquired a friend one day, of Abraham Lincoln, when you stood in the presence of the falls of  Niagara, the greatest of natural wonders?

“The thing that struck me most forcibly when I saw the Falls”, Lincoln responded with characteristic deliberation, “was where in the world did all that water come from?”

 

Xxx

 

Cynisim anecdotes 

Dr Johnson was told that a certain cynic of his acquaintance maintained that there was no distinction between virtue and vice.

“If he does really think there is no distinction between virtue and vice, answered Dr Johnson,

“Why, sir, when he leaves our houses let us count our spoons”.

Xxx

 

Civilization

 

Someone once asked the former Prince of Wales

“What is your idea of civilisation?”

“It is a good idea”, replied the prince

“Somebody ought to start it”.

 

Xxx

When it was remarked that Fouche, an associate of Talleyrand under Napoleon, had a profound contempt for human nature,Talleyrand replied, “To be sure; he has made a careful study of himself .”

 

Xxx

 

Gibbet

In one of his travels Mungo Park, the African explorer, traversed a wide extent of uncultivated regions, but at last he chanced upon a gibbet,

“The sight of which, said he, gave me infinite pleasure, as it proved that I was in a civilised society”.

 

Xxx

No Steps Backwards

 

When the motto of Hanover club of Gottingen, to which as a student he had belonged, was quoted to him as applicable to his own life, Bismarck reflected, “Yes, no steps backwards, but a good many zig-zags”  .

 

Xxxxx

 

Cheerfulness Anecdotes (Post No.3854)

Compiled by London swaminathan

Date: 26 APRIL 2017

Time uploaded in London:- 20-05

Post No. 3854

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Cheerfulness and Philosopher

 

When they reached Bolt Court, Edwards said to Dr Samuel Johnson,

“You are a philosopher, Dr Johnson. I have tried too, in my time, to be a philosopher; but I don’t know how, cheerfulness was always breaking in.

Xxx

Dealing with Inevitable!

“Uncle Joe, said Albert Edward Wiggam , the author, meeting an old Negro who was always cheerful in spite of having had more than his share of life’s troubles,

“How have you managed to remain so cheerful and calm?”

“Well, I will tell you, replied uncle joe. I have just learned to cooperate with the inevitable.”

 

Xxx

 

Dying Easier

When Thomas Hart Benton’s house in Washington was burned Benton left Congress and came to the ruin of his house. As he looked at it,he said, “It makes dying easier. There is so much less to leave.”

Xxxx

Conscience Anecdotes 

There is a tradition to the effect that Noel Coward once sent identical notes to the twenty most prominent men in London, saying,

“All is discovered. Escape while you can.

All twenty abruptly left the town”.

Xxxx

 

Many Consciences

To a friend who defended the behaviour of his upper chamber saying

“At least you find consciences there. Talleyrand replied.

Ah, yes, many, many consciences.  Semonville, for example, has at least two”.

 

Xxxx

 

Carelessness Anecdote

Hey wood Brown was noted for the general carelessness and disarray of his dress and personal appearance. One story has it, that on the occasion when Broun and a number of other war correspondents were presented to General Pershing, the general eyed the journalist with some concern and said, “Have you fallen down, Mr Broun?”

Xxxx

 

 

More Honesty Anecdotes (Post No.3817)

Compiled by London swaminathan

 

Date: 14 APRIL 2017

 

Time uploaded in London:-6-56 am

 

Post No. 3817

 

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“Little Matter”

One day George W Norris sat taking stock of the situation and puffing cigar. A visitor came in looking rather smug. He had called because Norris was on the committee on public buildings and grounds. Washington was still in the mushroom stage with land developments in progress. The man wanted to see him about a “little matter “. Norris jumped up and grabbed him, vigorously pushing him out of the room.

 

Xxxx

 

President Wilson

President Wilson was scrupulous to the degree of fanaticism on the point of avoiding any personal or family favouritism in appointments or awarding of war contracts.

A caller at the White House quite casually mentioned that a firm headed by a distant relative of the President had received a building contract . Although it might have been readily accepted as a legitimate and a purely coincidental transaction, the president said in a great agitation , ” it must be stopped at once”.

The nation could well have used, in his successors administration, so high a degree of integrity, yet the action, created a family breach that was never healed.

 

Xxxx

 

Frederick William

While visiting his prison at Potsdam , Frederic William I listened to a number of pleas for pardon from prisoners who had grievances against the law’s injustice.  All said they had imprisonment on account of prejudiced judges, perjured witnesses, unscrupulous lawyers. From cell to cell the wronged innocence continued, until the king stopped at the door of one cell inhabited by a surly inmate who said nothing. Surprised at his slime Frederic said jocosely,

“Well, I suppose you are innocent too”

No, Your Majesty, was the startling response, “I am guilty and richly deserve all that I get”.

Here, turn key, thundered Frederic ;”Come and get rid of this rascal before he corrupts this fine lot of innocent people that you are responsible for”.

xxx

 

Abraham Lincoln

All clients knew that, with old Abe as lawyer, they would win their case- if it was fair; if not that it was a waste of time to take it to him. After listening some time one day to a would-be client s statement with his eyes on the ceiling, he swung around in his chair and exclaimed ,

“Well, you have a pretty good case in technical law, but a pretty bad one in equity and justice. You will have to get some other fellow to win this case for you. I couldn’t do it. All the time while standing taking to that jury I would be thinking, “Lincoln,you are a liar”, and I believe I should forget myself and say it out loud.

 

Xxxxx

Helpfulness Anecdote

There is a story that tells of a rabbit being chased by a dog and the people following and telling the rabbit to run hard and escape.

“Thank you for your kind encouragement”, said the rabbit, “but for goodness sake shoot the dog”.

Xxxx

 

Stinginess Anecdotes (Post No.3769)

Compiled by London swaminathan

 

Date: 29 March 2017

 

Time uploaded in London:- 18-21

 

Post No. 3769

 

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Dog’s Father is Rich!

A poor German, relative of John Jacob Astor, once applied to him for charity. Mr Astor gave him a five dollar.

“Why?, said the disconcerted relative, “your son just gave me ten dollars!”

“Well, he may!”| , said the stingy old magnate; “the dog has a rich father”

 

Xxx

Perfect Likeness!

Fenelon had for some time been besieging Richelieu for a contribution to a charity fund, but all his diplomacy had failed to make the wily French minister ” come across”

Meeting Richelieu in the Louvre one day, Fenelon remarked,

“I have just seen a portrait of you in the other room”.

“And did you ask it for a subscription?” replied Richelieu with a polite smirk.

No, I knew it was no use, said Fenelon, passing on. “It was a perfect likeness”.

 

Xxx

 

Counting Fingers!

Russel Sage, the financier, had a wide reputation as a man difficult to separate from his money. A couple of promoters approached him one day and tried to sell him on a scheme they had. Sage talked with them for a while but said he could give them no definite answer yet. Telling them that he would communicate with them in a few days he showed them out of the office.

One of the promoters seemed quite optimistic and voiced the opinion to his partner that he thought Sage was pretty well sold on their proposition.

“I don’t know, replied the other sceptically. He seemed too suspicious to me. Didn’t you notice tha , after shaking hands with me, he started to count his fingers”.

 

Xxx

How to become Rich!

The young journalist was sent to get a personal interview with the wealthy old Scotch merchant His paper desired a human-interest story on how he had accumulated his riches.

“Well, it’s a long story”, said the old man.

“And while I am telling it we may as well save the candle”.

Wherewith he blew it out.

“Never mind about the story, said the reporter. I understand”.

 

Xxx

When J P Morgan drinks…………………

A legend of doubtful authenticity has it that J P Morgan was once present with a group of men at a bar in the financial district. Beckoning to the waiter, he ordered a beer; at the same time, saying, “When Morgan drinks, everybody drinks”.

Everybody had a beer and when Morgan had finished, he slapped a dime upon the table, saying,

“When Morgan pays, everybody pays.”

 

Xxxxx SUBHAM xxxx

 

Rationing Anecdotes (Post No.3741)

Compiled by London swaminathan

 

Date: 20 March 2017

 

Time uploaded in London:- 19-59

 

Post No. 3741

 

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Tackling Tyre ration!

 

A motorist driving through the back country of Vermont stopped at a little gas station and asked for a tankful. He remarked casually to the proprietor

I guess you fellows are all pretty sore at Leon Henderson.

Leon Henderson,? said the old timer

Who is he?

The motorist, looking at him for a moment and then thinking quickly said

Do you sell tyres?

“Sure”, the proprietor said.

“You want some?”

The motorist said, I will take four, paid his money and drove hastily away thanking Providence.

 

Xxxx

Prophet Flying with Tyre!

 

A small boy, keenly aware of the transportation problems created by rationing, was looking at a book of Bible illustrations. One of these depicted the Prophet Elijah, Ascending to Heaven in a chariot of fire. He noted the halo above the prophet’s head and cried ,

 

“Oh ,Mother, Look he is carrying an extra tyre.

 

Xxx

 

Sugar Ration

 

“Does anyone here” , asked the teacher of the Night School for Adult Education, administering a vocabulary test, “know the meaning of ratiocination?”

 

“I know, said the young stenographer in the class.

It is what they are doing to sugar”.

 

((Definition of ratiocination. 1 : the process of exact thinking : reasoning. 2 : a reasoned train of thought)).

 

Xxxx

 

 

 

Censorship anecdotes (Post No.3738)

Compiled by London swaminathan

 

Date: 19 March 2017

 

Time uploaded in London:- 19-02

 

Post No. 3738

 

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We never open letters!

 

According to John Gunther, an American journalist in Japan wrote to a friend and added the note, “Don’t know if this will ever arrive because the Japanese censor may open it.”

A few days afterward, he received a note from the Japanese post office saying,

“The statement in your letter is not correct. We do not open letters”.

 

Xxxx

 

Censored Love Letter

 

A young lady received a letter from her soldier sweetheart from

‘Somewhere in the Pacific area’.

Upon opening the envelope, she found, instead of a letter, a thin strip of paper bearing the brief message:

“Your boyfriend still loves you, but he talks too much.”

Signed, Censor

 

Xxxx

Banned Books

 

The book of Helviteus De l’ Espirit and Voltaire’s poem of La Pucelle d’Orleans were prohibited in Switzerland at the same time. A magistrate of Berne, after a strict search for these two works, wrote the Senate:

“We have not found in the whole province either wit or maid”.

 

Xxx

Cervantes’ Whisper

 

The French ambassador to Spain complemented Cervantes on the great reputation he had acquired by his Don Quixote .

Cervantes whispered in his ear, “Had it not been for the Inquisition, I should have made my book much more entertaining”.

 

Xxx

 

Sales Tricks!

 

A grim lesson for the exponents of bigoted censorship is contained in the characteristic American press agent story of how the famous picture ‘September Morn’ was popularised.

 

An art dealer, stuck with a formidable surplus of this lithograph of a nude girl, consulted a well-known press agent Harry Reichenbach .

 

Reichenbach had many of the pictures placed in the shop window. He then hired a crowd of small children and grouped them around the front of the store. Next, he phoned to Anthony Comestock and hysterically demanded that he come and witness the sordid exhibition of vice and corruption. Comestock came and immediately opened one of his inimitable litigations. In consequence of the publicity resulting from this, 7,000,000 copies of this picture were sold.

 

–Subham–

 

Refugees Anecdotes: Hitler’s Rule! (Post No.3734)

Compiled by London swaminathan

 

Date: 18 March 2017

 

Time uploaded in London:- 5-51 am

 

Post No. 3734

 

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Many and devious have been the devices employed by refugees seeking to escape from occupied France. It is reported from hitherto unreliable sources, that such a man threw himself upon the mercy of the proprietor of a small travelling menagerie (a collection of wild animals kept in captivity for exhibition.).

 

“I am afraid to disguise you as an employee”, said the man.

“You might be discovered too easily. It happens that our gorilla died a little over a week ago and we preserved his hide, thinking that we might recoup the loss by having it stuffed some day.

 

If you want to put it on, you can travel with us in the cage”.

 

Faced by his desperate need, the refugee did so. And whenever the menagerie was on exhibition he put on as good a show as he could manage.

 

One night when no one was around, he was horror struck to discover that the bars had become loosened between his own and the adjoining cage on the same truck. One of them had fallen out, and through the opening came his neighbour, the lion. As the animal slunk toward him, the gorilla cringed in the corner and began to cry

“Help! Help!”

“Shut up, you damn fool”, growled the lion

“You aren’t the only refugee.”

Xxxx

 

Prisoners Anecdotes : Jewish blood to a Nazi Soldier!

 

Some of the Nazi airmen invite mistreatment by their belligerent attitude. There is the case of the wounded Nazi airman who panned English doctors, bemoaning the fact that he had no good German doctors to fix him up. In the middle of his tirade he had the misfortune to faint.

“Don’t worry”, the doctors told him when he came to.

“You will be alright. The chances are that you will have better manners too, now that you have got a couple of pints of good Jewish blood in you”.

 

–Subham–

 

More Parliament Anecdotes (Post No.3686)

Compiled by London swaminathan

 

Date: 3 March 2017

 

Time uploaded in London:-9-14 am

 

Post No. 3686

 

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HIS MAJESTY’S ASS!

One night Burke severely attacked some act s of the Government. George Onslow arose and haughtily said that he must call the honourable member to a sense of his duty and that no man should be suffered in his presence to insult the sovereign.

Burke, in his reply, gravely addressed the Speaker,

“Sir, the honourable member has exhibited much ardour but little discrimination. He should know that, however, I may reverence the King, I am not at all bound, nor at all inclined to extend the reverence to his ministers. I may honour his majesty, but sir, I can see no possible reason for honouring, and he glanced round the treasury bench at Mr Onslow and the other ministers, “His majesty’s man servant and maid servant , his ox and his ass!”.

 

Xxx

 

Hear, hear!

 

During one of his much admired debates in parliament, Sheridan was annoyed by the persistence of a well meaning fellow, who kept punctuating, by the exclamation,

“Hear, hear”, almost all of his most telling remarks.

In the course of discussion Sheridan took occasion to describe a political enemy as, “wishing to play the rogue but having only sense enough to act the fool. Where”, he cried forcefully,

“where shall we find more foolish knave or a more knavish fool than he?”

 

“Hear, hear!”, was the annoying response.

 

Sheridan swung about and thanked him forthwith, sitting down amid a general roar of laughter.

 

Xxx

 

Go to graveyard!

A young peer once asked Disraeli what course of study he had best take to qualify himself for speaking so as to gain the ear of  the House of Lords.

“Have you a grave yard near your house?” asked Disraeli.

“Yes”, was the reply.

“Then, said Disraeli, I should recommend you to visit it early of a morning and practice upon the tomb stones.”

 

Xxx

 

PARLIAMENT FOR FOOLS!

A noble man wished Garrick to be a candidate for the representation of a borough in parliament.

“No, my Lord, said the actor, I would rather play the a part of a great man on the stage than the part of a fool in parliament”.

 

XXX

 

SEVEN WEEKS, NOTHING HAPPENED!

At one time the House of Commons had sat in a long and ineffectual session. Mr Papham, Speaker of the houses, was summoned by Queen Elizabeth, who said to him,

“Now, Mr Speaker, what has passed in the Commons House?”

He replied, “if it please Your Majesty —seven weeks”.

 

Xxx

 

Elections Anecdotes (Post No.3621)

 

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Date: 9 FEBRUARY 2017

 

Time uploaded in London:- 18-06

 

Post No. 3621

 

 

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My Vote for You!

There is the story of a Yankee farmer who promised his vote to the Democratic candidate for Selectman and ten minutes later promised it to the Republican nominee. To his wife’s rebuke he replied cannily,

“Did you notice how pleased each of the candidates were?”

“Yes”

“Well, I pleased them both, and on Election Day I will please myself, and then we shall all be pleased together”.

 

Xxxx

Public offices anecdotes 

 

The typically parliamentary mind suffers considerably from the necessity of departing from orderly procedure. This was clearly demonstrated in the meeting of the Town Council of a small city on the West coast of USA. The session was interrupted by a mild earthquake shock, and all present hastened out of the building to safety.

The clerk found himself severely perplexed by the problem of concluding his formal minutes of the meeting in the proper manner. After mulling over the problem for a considerable length of time, he was inspired to the following conclusion:

“On motion of the City Hall, the Council adjourned”.

 

Xxx

 

I am ready to walk: Lincoln

Lincoln was once asked if he did not find the office of the presidency with all its attendant ceremonies rather tiresome at times.

Lincoln replied, “Yes, sometimes. In fact I feel sometimes like a man who was ridden out of town on a rail and said “If it wasn’t for the honour of the thing, I would rather walk”.

 

Xxx

 

God and Abraham Lincoln!

John Bach McMaster , the historian, told this story of Abraham Lincoln.

When he was a very small boy he was taken to a reception at the White House . The guests were lined up and led past the president under the watchful eyes of the ushers. No one was allowed to come very close or shake his hand. One old man who had come a long distance just for this occasion was very disappointed at not having shaken hands with  the President.

Just before leaving the line the old timer waved his hat at the president and shouted, “Mr President, I am from up in York state where we believe that God Almighty and Abraham Lincoln are going to save the country”.

Jovially the president waved back at him ,”My friend, you are half right, was his reply”.

Xxx

Lincoln’s Knowledge of History!

Jefferson Davis insisted on being recognised by his official title as commander or President in the regular negotiations with the US Government. This Mr Lincoln would not consent to.

Mr Hunte there upon referred to the correspondence between King Charles the first and his parliament as a precedent for a negotiation between a constitutional government and rebels. Mr Lincoln’s face then wore that indescribable expression which generally preceded his hardest hits, and he remarked ,”Upon questions of history, I must refer you to Mr Seward for he is posted on such things and I don’t profess to be; but my only distinct recollection of the matter is that Charles lost his head”.

–Subham–

 

Inspiring Anecdotes in the Life of Swami Chinmayananda Saraswati (Post No.3600)

Written by S NAGARAJAN

 

Date: 3 February 2017

 

Time uploaded in London:-  6-10 am

 

 

Post No.3600

 

 

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by Santhanam Nagarajan

Swami Chinmayananda Saraswati (Birth 8-5-1916 Samadhi 3-8-1993) was one of the greatest Hindu spiritual leaders of our times.

He was in Himalayas. One day there was a sudden call! He himself narrated what had happened thus: “Mother Ganga in her incessant hurry seemed to tell me, ‘Son, don’t you see Me? Born here in Himalayas, I rush down to the plains taking with me both life and nourishment. Fulfilment of any possession, is in sharing it with others.’ I decided. I was encouraged. I felt reinforced. The urge became irresistible.”

Then he came down to the plains and started meeting people. He travelled length and breadth of the whole world and attracted thousands of followers. His Gita discourses were very famous. He founded Chinmaya Mission on 8th August 1953. The Chinmaya movement was born out of love and rooted in the wisdom of Truth.

His eloquence in English is very famous. Once when one devotee told him that he was always in the midst of troubles he immediately retorted saying, “When troubles come to trouble you, don’t trouble to stop the troubles, but allow the troubles to trouble the troubles, so that no trouble is free to trouble you. Trouble not at troubles; let the troubles trouble the trouble”. Everybody laughed. The questioner understood the point and was cleared of his doubt. The great Tamil Poet Thiruvalluvar said in his poem, “When trouble comes laugh at it”

He delivered several lectures in America.  At the end of the first talk in Palo Alto, one of the listeners asked him, “What is your technique?”

“What is my technique? My technique is to stand on my nose and meditate” said Swamiji. “But I only practice it in private”.

 

He gave a mischievous laugh, and then thundered seriously, “If you are looking for shortcuts in spirituality or instant psychedelic happenings, you have made a mistake today. But don’t repeat it – don’t come tomorrow.”

His words were straight.  Everyone got the message. They turned every day to hear the discourses.

Once, a young boy asked Swamiji, “What made you renounce the world? You were a postgraduate in English Literature and Law, and a very successful journalist:

Swamiji asked him in return, “when will you spit that thing out?” referring to the chewing gum in the boy’s mouth. “Oh! I am just about to spit it out. There is no juice left in it,” said the boy. “Ah! I, too, did just that,” laughed Swamiji. “I had chewed the world sufficiently and did not find any more juice in it.”

One skeptic asked him, “Whatever you teach is there in the books. What do I need a Guru for?” He replied, “Why don’t you ask the question to the books.”

How to inspire the young children imbibing the idea of God in them? In Manila, some children gathered around him.

He asked them, “What is the color of the milk?”

“White” answered all the children.

“What color is the cow?”

“Black.”

“What does it eat?”

“Grass.”

“What color is the grass?”

“Green.”

“What makes the green grass eaten by a black cow to come out as white milk?”

The children were silent.

He said “Krishna! It is the Lord who makes the impossible possible.”

His unique way of teaching is incomparable.  Devotees used to narrate hundreds of interesting anecdotes happened in his life.

Once, Mr Manian, the famous Tamil writer, journalist and editor of many magazines in his welcoming address at Madras said: “ We find in Swamiji a Good Teacher, a Popular Preacher, a Religious Leader, a Philosopher, a Rational Thinker, a Scientist, an Artist, a communicator, a Journalist, and Educationist and above all a Guiding Spirit. In him we see the wisdom of Vasishta, the vigour of Viswamitra, the knowledge of Brigu, the thought process of Veda Vyasa, the power of Kasyapa, the determination of Gautama and pardom me Swamiji, the anger and humour of Durvasa,”

Verily he was a great saint who propagated the glory of Hinduism.  His life was his message!

This article first appeared in www.ezinearticles.com on 26-1-2017

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