Written by London Swaminathan

swami_48@yahoo.com

Date: 11 May 2019

British Summer Time uploaded in London – 17-28

Post No. 6374

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Jewish Fish and Christian Fish!

In a certain murder case the alibi of the defendant was that he had been working in a fish market at 114thStreet and Lexington Avenue. The prosecution compelled the witness to identify a large number of fish which were brought in in a basket. The witness was wrong in every identification.

Samuel Leibovitz, however, summing up for the defence, obtained an acquittal by the following ingenious device.

Said he, addressing the jurors,

“I want you Mr Rabinowitz, and you Mr Epstein, and you Mr Goldfogel, and you Mr Ginsberg, to explain to fellow jurymen the fraud which has been perpetrated on my client. You see through it; they do not. Was there in all that array of fish a single spike, or pickerel, or any other fish that can be made into gefulte fish? There was not. My client told me that he worked in a store at 114th Street and Lexington Avenue. The prosecutor knows that is a Jewish neighbourhood, and he did not show a single fish that makes gefulte fish. What a travesty on justice! My client is an Italian who works in a Jewish fish marke , and they try him on Christian fish!

Jefilte fish:–

noun Jewish Cookery.

a forcemeat of boned fish, especially such freshwater fish as carp, pike, or whitefish, blendedwith eggs, matzo meal, and seasoning, shaped into balls or sticks and simmered in a vegetable broth, and often served chilled.

Xxxx

Juries anecdotes

“Look here, said one of the jury men, after they had retired, if I understand aright, the plaintiff does not ask for damages for blighted affections or anything of that sort, but only wants to get back what he has spent on presents, pleasure trips, and so forth.
That is so, agreed the foreman.
Well then I vote we don’t give him a penny, said the other hastily. If all the fun he had with the girl didn’t cover the amount he expended it must be his own fault.
“Gentlemen, I courted the girl once myself”
Xxx

Where is the 12th Jury?

John Scot Eldon, Lord Chancellor of England, was in court in York, one day when the justice had spoken for over two hours and then observed,
There are only 11 jurymen in the box. Where is the twelfth?

Please you, my Lord, said one of the jurors, he had to go away on some business, but he has left his verdict with me.

Xxx

Lawyers anecdotes

A lawyer from Wyoming, with the picturesqueness of a cowboy and an even more picturesque method of speech, was arguing a case before the Supreme Court. While Justice Holmes was still on the bench, and despite a most impassioned appeal to the court, full of the language of the frontier, he lost. As he concluded, Holmes who sat on the right of Hughes, leaned over and in one of his loud, hoarse whispers said,
Can’t we hear that Old bird again?

The clerk of the court heard the remark and afterward advised the cowboy that, if he applied for a rehearing it might be granted. This was done. In the rehearing, the lawyer opened his appeal to the court with these words,
“I come to you as John the Baptist saying,
Repent he, Repent he.”
Whereupon Justice McReynolds, who was enjoying the performance almost as much as Justice Holmes, leaned forward and said,
“But are you not aware of what happened to John the Baptist?”

“Yes, I am quite aware, was the immediate response
He lost his head through the influence of a harlot. But I know the Supreme Court would not be so influenced”.

Xxx Subham xxx