Archbishop’s Strange Disease! (Post No.6779)

Compiled by  London Swaminathan

swami_48@yahoo.com

 Date: 14 AUGUST 2019  


British Summer Time uploaded in London –  20-55

Post No. 6779

 Pictures are taken from various sources.  ((posted by swamiindology.blogspot.com AND tamilandvedas.com))

A certain archbishop, getting alone in years, had been worried for some time that he would fall a victim to a paralytic stroke. One evening, while playing chess with a charming young lady, he suddenly became very agitated, and feeling that his  presentiment  had been fulfilled, he fell back in his chair, murmuring,

“Your move”.

Alarmed, his partner hurried to his side,

“Are you ill?”, she asked.

“It has come”, the Archbishop replied, “at last it has come, my right side is paralysed”.

“How can you be so sure?”

 I have been pinching my leg” weakly said the Archbishop, “and there is absolutely no feeling”.

“Oh”, she said the charming young lady, blushing profusely, “your Grace, I do beg your pardon, but it was my leg you are pinching.”

Xxx

My Prescription – Skipping Rope

A lady much afflicted with nervous complaints went to consult the celebrated surgeon Dr Abernethy(18th century). The rough and caustic manner in which he catechized her, so discomposed the fair one’s weak spirits, that she was thrown into a fit of hysterics. On parting she put the usual fee in his hands in the form of a sovereign and a shilling. Dr Abernethy pocketed the sovereign with one hand, and with the other presented the shilling to her, saying gravely,

“Here  madam, take this shilling, go to the next toy shop, buy a skipping rope, and use it every day; it will do you more good than all my prescriptions”.

xxx

Blunt Doctor

A lady who went to consult the blunt Dr Abernethy, began description of her complaint thus:

“Whenever I lift my arm, it pains me exceedingly”.

“Why, then, madam, said the doctor impatiently, “you are great fool for lifting it”.

presentiment

/prɪˈzɛntɪm(ə)nt,prɪˈsɛntɪm(ə)nt/

Learn to pronounce

noun

  1. an intuitive feeling about the future, especially one of foreboding.

“a presentiment of disaster”

synonyms: premonition, foreboding, intuition, feeling, hunch, suspicion, sneaking suspicion, feeling in one’s bones, funny feeling, vague feeling, inkling, idea, sixth sense;

Xxx Subham  xxx

DOCTOR JOKES (Post No.6602)

Compiled   by london swaminathan


swami_48@yahoo.com


Date: 26 June 2019


British Summer Time uploaded in London –15-4
5

Post No. 6602


Pictures are taken from various sources including Facebook, google, Wikipedia. This is a non- commercial blog. ((posted by swamiindology.blogspot.com AND tamilandvedas.com))

Greedy Cleaning Woman

“I reckon you get paid  right handsome for looking after the rich Johnson boy”, observed the cleaning woman to the doctor.

“Why, yes, I get pretty good fees”, he replied somewhat amused.

“Why do you ask?”

“I just hope you wont forget that it was my boy who threw the brick that hi him”.

Xxx

My patient dies only ……………………………..

A physician was talking over some of his cases with a layman friend. A bit maliciously the friend remarked, Say doctor, I hear that man you treated for a liver  ailment died of a heart attack.”

Outraged at this slur against his professional skill, the doctor shouted, “see here, my good man, when I treat someone for liver trouble, he dies of liver trouble”.

Xxxx

Foolish advice !

A patient going to a doctor for his first visit was asked ,

“And whom did you consult before  coming to me?”

“Only one village druggist” was the answer.

“And what sort o foolish advice did the numbskull give you?”, said the doctor, his tone and manner denoting contempt for the advice of the layman.

“Oh”, replied his patient , with no malice aforethought ,”he told me to come and see you”.

Xxx

Kreplach fear

A Jewish mother was much distressed over the problem of her young son who was afraid to eat the popular dish known as kreplach. She took the boy to a psychiatrist for consultation After hearing the case , the doctor said,

“Now , Madam, It is very simple. Take the boy home, take him out in the kitchen, and show him the ingredients that go into the dish. And then, show him how the kreplach is mad. This should probably eliminate the condition.

Hopefully the mother followed his advice. On the kitchen table she put out a small square of dough beside which was a small mound of prepared chopped meat..

Now, she said, there is nothing here you should  mind.

The lad beamed and nodded encouragingly.

The mother then put the meat in the center of the dough and folded over one corner. The boy smiled and all   seemed to be going well. She folded over the second corner  and the third. The boy was nodding and the experiment seemed to be progressing  most favourably.  Then she folded over the fourth and final corner; whereupon the boy groaned and muttered , “Oi,Kreplach!”.

Xxx subham xxx