Compiled by London Swaminathan

Date: 10 May 2017

Time uploaded in London: 20-13

Post No. 3895

Pictures are taken from various sources; thanks.

contact; swami_48@yahoo.com

Talking Anecdotes -Part 1

Dr Johnson was one day in conversation with a very talkative lady, of whom he appeared to take very little notice.

“Why, Doctor, I believe you prefer the company of men to that of the ladies?”

Madam, replied he, I am very fond of the company of ladies, I like their beauty, I like their delicacy, I like their vivacity and I like their silence.

Xxxx

Mark Twain and Winston Churchill

Mark Twain met Winston Churchill in 1900, when the latter was just coming into prominence as a young statesman. The occasion was a dinner in London   Churchill and Twain went out for a brief time to have a smoke. Sir William Vernon Harcourt observed, as they departed, that whichever one got the floor first would keep it. He speculated that inasmuch as Twain was an older and more experienced hand, Churchill’s  voice would get the first good rest that it had had in years .

When the two men returned, Harcourt asked Churchill whether he had enjoyed himself, and the young man replied, “Yes”, most enthusiastically.

Turning to Twain, Sir William put the same question.

Twain hesitated and said,

“I have had a good smoke”.

Xxx

In Silence!

A talkative barber was trimming the hair of King Achelous ,and asked, “how shall I cut?”

“In silence”, replied the King.

Xxx

Hush Money to Barber!

King Archelaus , perpetrator of that ancient joke about replying, in silence, to the barber who asked him how he should cut his hair, would be pleased to know that his tradition is being carried on in the modern era.

A man who might well stem from this kingly line, handled the barber a coin and then climbed into the chai .

“Why, sir, thank you”, said the astonished barber,” never before have I been tipped in advance”.

“That is not a tip”, snarled the customer. “It’s hush money”.

Xxx

Need to Talk to Someone

The need to talk to someone finds its expression in everything from friendly confidences, to the confessional, to the psychoanalyst. Recently it has been commercialised by an organisation calling itself The Southern Listening Bureau of Little Rock, Arkansas.

Their advertisement proclaims

“We offer well trained and experienced listeners who will hear you as long as you wish to talk, and without interruptions, for a nominal fee. As our listeners listen, their faces portray interest, pity, fellow feeling, understanding; where called for, they exhibit hope despair, hate, sorrow or joy.  Lawyers, politicians, club leaders, reformers can try their speeches on us. You may talk freely about your business or domestic problems without fear of having any confidence betrayed. Just let off steam into the discreet ears of our experts and feel better”.

Xxxx

At a party, someone observed to Dorothy Parker that their hostess was outspoken

“By whom?”, asked Miss Parker.

—Subham–