STINGY AMERICANS (Post No.5195)

Economy & Endurance Anecdotes (Post No.5195)


Written by London swaminathan

 

Date: 8 JULY 2018

 

Time uploaded in London –  9-17 am (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 5195

 

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Wikipedia, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may be subject to copyright laws.

 

STINGY ROOSVELT


Shortly before sailing back to England foreign correspondent Quentin Reynolds was received by President Roosevelt in his office at the White House. While he was there the President put through a transatlantic call to another eminent statesman, Winston Churchill.
Mr Reynolds was slightly startled when, after a conversation, the President said
‘I will have to hang up now. My three minutes are up’.

Xxx

STINGY COOLIDGE

A visitor to the Whitehouse during the Coolidge administration said to the President that that he would greatly appreciate the gift of a cigar, not for himself but for a friend who had the eccentricity of collecting cigar bands from famous smokers all over the world .

President Coolidge thought the matter-over for a few seconds, then reached for a box of cigars.
Taking one out he carefully removed the band , replaced the cigar in the box , and handed the band to his visitor .

Xxx

BIG MONEY MAKES YOU STINGY!


At Lobbs, the famous English bootmaker, one day, I saw on the floor a heap of twenty or thirty boots , all needing cobbling badly.
Oh sir, Lobbs explained , these Belong to the best customer I ever had . He used to come in here and order15 or 20 pairs of boots ,
But when his father died he left him some three million dollars.

“Well, sir, since then he has not ordered a single pair of New boots but sends the old ones to be repaired”.
Who is he, Lobbs, I asked.
An American, sir…… his name is Pierpont Morgan
Xxxxx

 
Endurance anecdotes
In the days of the homestead law a prospective settler sought out a lawyer friend and asked him to explain the law and its operations.

I don’t know the exact text of the law, said his friend, but I can give you the draft of it. The government is willing to bet you 160 acres of land against 14 dollar that you can’t live on it five years without starving to death

 

XXX

BUYER SENT HOME!

Much more eccentricity anecdotes

Alfred Stieglitz has always been a highly arbitrary and erratic dealer in paintings . Once, at a show of the work of Georgia O Keefe, a wealthy woman expressed, with a slightly patronising attitude, a desire to purchase a certain picture . Repelled subtly by the woman’s manner Stieglitz snapped,
“Why do you want that painting? Give me some reason why you want it”
The prospective purchaser could think of no satisfactory reason and was refused the picture.

Xxx

 

‘Don’t you know who I am?’

A traffic cop will signal Pop Gershwin to stop. Pop has been exceeding the speed limit, perhaps in the u unconscious belief that the father of the jazz king has rights that even the police force must respect.
Don’t you know who I am? He asks the officer
I am the father of George Gershwin
At the same time, being a New Yorker, he pronounces the first name to rhyme with judge
(The Jewish American pronunciations of George and judge are surprisingly similar)

The officer scratches his head. He doesn’t know every judge in Gotham. Perhaps this judge Gershwin is a big run up in the Bronx. Better to be safe than sorry.

A salute and he  lets Pa Gershwin pass.
Who now can tell Pa that Gershwin isn’t the king?
Xxxx SUBHAM XXX

 

 

Stinginess Anecdotes (Post No.3576)

Compiled by London swaminathan

 

Date: 25 January 2017

 

Time uploaded in London:- 20-17

 

Post No.3576

 

 

Pictures are taken from different sources; thanks.

 

 

 

contact: swami_48@yahoo.com

 

Good Man, but……………..

Jock said to his wife one night,

“Weel, Maggy, I think I will go and pay my respects to the new neighbour”.

Upon his return sometime later, Maggie said,

“Weel, Jock, what kind of a mon is the new neighbour?”

“He is a guid mon”, replied Jock

“A guid mon and verra liberal with his liquor. But verra bad quality. In fact, Maggie, it was that bad, I nearly left some.”.

 

Xxx

 

Funeral Speech!

The story is told of the hard-bitten old Quaker who had died. At the funeral service, those who had gathered were standing silently by, waiting, as was the custom, for anyone who might wish to do so, make some tribute to the departed. At last one old man spoke and said,

Well, I can say one good thing about William. He wasn’t always as mean as he was sometimes.

 

Xxx

'You have to spend money to make money, and Walter just HATES it.'

Mountain of Gold

Two friends were walking down the street .

“If you could have any wish”, asked one of them.

“What would it be ?”

“A mountain of gold, said his friend.”

And, said his questioner,

“If you had your mountain of gold , surely we are such old friends , you would give me half?”

“I would not, said the other firmly , Nothing would I give.”

His friend was deeply hurt.

“What?, he demanded, all these years our friendship  and this is what I get?”

“Look, the other said practically, “wish yourself a mountain of gold and leave me alone.”

 

 

Xxx

Wordsworth Vs Godwin

When Godwin in 1822 was on the point of being sold out to his creditors a fund was started for him, to which Lamb, Crabbe, Byron, Robinson and Scott contributed, Wordsworth refused to subscribe. The inference is that, while generous enough to inferiors who would be duly grateful, Wordsworth was indifferent to an equal, however needy, especially an arrogant equal like Godwin from whom no gratitude was expected.

 

Xxx

Duke Cigarettes

James Duke, founder of the tobacco fortune, was one of those eccentrically miserly character s whose accumulation of wealth is a vast storing up and no giving out. When he already begun to earn an income of more than $50000 a year he took pride in living in the cheapest hall bedroom in New York and eating his meals at a Bowery restaurant. At that time he would permit no one associated with the Duke tobacco business, other than himself, to earn more than $1000 a year.

XxxSubhamxxx