More Drinking Anecdotes (Post No.4983)

Compiled by London Swaminathan 

 

Date: 6 May 2018

 

Time uploaded in London – 11-21 am (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 4983

 

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may be subject to copyright laws.

 

 

WARNING: PLEASE SHARE MY ARTICLES; BUT DON’T SHARE IT WITHOUT AUTHOR’S NAME AND THE BLOG NAME. BE HONEST; OTHERS WILL BE HONEST WITH YOU

 


Whole World Smells
A question of perspective was raised by the case of the drunk, who, while unconscious, had some Limburger cheese rubbed on his moustache. Coming to later, staggering feebly along, he began to say,
Ain’t it awful!
What is the trouble? Someone asked.
Ain’t it awful! Said the drunk.
The whole world smells.

Xxxx

 

Snake and Mongoose

An inebriated gentleman was weaving gently down the street carrying in his hand a box with perforations in the lid and sides. An acquaintance stopped him and said ,
My word, what have you got in the box.
Shh, said the drunk, It’s a mongoose.
What on earth for? asked his friend
Well, he said, you know how it is with me. I am not very drunk now, but I will be soon. And when I am I see snakes and I am scared of them and that is what I got the mongoose for;to protect me.
But good heavens, said his friend, those are imaginary snakes!
That’s all right, said the drunk reassuringly. That’s all right; this is an imaginary mongoose

Xxx

Stuffed Fish!


At a fashionable bar the main decoration s were mounted game and fish. A drunk fascinated by them, carefully walked from one to the other mumbling as he went. Suddenly he came upon an enormous stuffed tarpon. Swaying precariously stared at it for a full minute, then burst forth, ‘The fella who caught the fish is a liar!’

 

Tarpon= a large marine fish
Xxxx

 

Love Your Enemies
A clergyman told an   American Indian he should love his enemies.
I do, said the latter, for I love rum and cider.

 

xxxx

Open Your Hands!

William Pen was exhorting a drunkard to cast off his habits. The drunkard lamented that this was impossible.
No, said Penn. It is as easy as opening your hand, my friend.
Tell me how this is and I will do as you say, said the drunkard.
Friend, when you find any vessel of intoxicating liquor in your hand. Open the hand that it contains it before it reaches your mouth you will never be drunk again.

xxxx

 

Snake Bite!

In one of our South western proverbially dry states a couple of strangers in town asked a man on the street where they could get a drink
Well, said the man, in this town they only use whiskey for snake bite. There is only one snake in town, and it is getting kind of late You’d better hurry down and ‘git’ in line before it ‘gits’ exhausted.
Xxxx subham xxx

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