Dr South, when preaching before Charles II, observed that the monarch and his attendants began to nod. And some of them soon after snored. On this he broke off his sermon and said, Lord Lauderdale, let me entreat you to rouse yourself; you snore so loud, that you will awake the king.
Xxx.
Three Kinds of Pride!
My brethren, said the satirical Dean Swift in a sermon, there are three kinds of pride— of birth, of riches and of talent. I shall not speak of the latter, none of you being liable to that abominable vice. Xxx
Sermon and Deer Hunt
A somewhat self -satisfied and greatly inexperienced young
preacher one Sunday supplied the pulpit of a country church. After services he
asked one of the church fathers what he thought of his sermon.
“Now I tell you, said the
old man ,
I will put it in a sort of parable . I recollect Archie
Tucker’s first deer hunt. He was kind of green. He followed the deer alright,
but he followed it all day in the wrong direction”.
Xxx
Drowning in Water!!
A prominent bishop tells of the Sunday morning when he was approached after the service by an old lady, who said in a tone of appreciation, “Bishop, you will never know what your service meant to me. It was just like water to a drowning man!”
Xxx
Ten Minutes Sermon is
Enough!!
A certain minister recounted a harrowing experience which
befell him during one of his sermons. Just as he was beginning his address, an
elderly lady of stern mien marched down and seated herself directly beneath him
in front of the pulpit. She opened up a little kit, assembled the various parts
of a rather elaborate hearing mechanism and affixed it her ears. After not more
than ten minutes of his discourse, she suddenly took off the ear pieces,
unscrewed the mechanism and packed it neatly away in its little box and sat
with her hands in her lap throughout the rest of the sermon.
Xxx
Charles Lamb and Coleridge!
“I believe, you have never heard me preach, Charles”, said
Coleridge, referring to the days of his Unitarian ministry.
“Yes, retorted Lamb, I …I … never heard you do anything
else”.
Xxx
Garrick said he would give a hundred Guineas if he could say “Oh!” as well as the Rev. Whitefield
Whenever I travel
on airplanes I never watch movies; I spend most of my time watching the flight path
amazing at the height of flight — 36,000 feet at an average speed of 550 miles
per hour. I also watch the temperature of minus -45-degree F etc. Other times I
sleep or read something. But during my trip to India on July 2019 I came across
the issue of The Week (issue date 29 June). There were lot of news items that
grabbed my attention. One of them is the Wit and Wisdom page. Here are some interesting
quotations: –
“If a
cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what then is an empty desk a
sign?” – Albert Einstein
(My
comments- Thanks, Einstein; I was worried about my cluttered desk! Family members
always complain about my cluttered desk and cluttered desk top screen on my PC.
Now I know I am as intelligent as Einstein!)
Xxx
“Everybody
was so gaga about Steve Jobs, but I picture him in hell running from demons,
who want a selfie” – Jim Carrey blames the Apple founder for the popularity of
selfies, quoted in the I newspaper.
(My comment- It is not fair to blame Steve for this; Selfies help us to reduce the population of idiots. Those who are idiots die at mountain cliffs, railway lines, water sources, top floors of the skyscrapers by taking selfies. Like knife, it can be used for both good and bad tasks. Narendra Modi, Prime Minister of India, used it for popularising good things. He took selfies with baby girls (Indians favour boys). When printing machine was invented by Gutenberg , Christian church warned him of bringing Satan into the world. When computers were introduced into banksin India, Marxist idiots cried of job loses and closed banks every month to stage demos. Popes of olden days banned printed Bibles. Now we laugh at them. So don’t blame Steve for selfies. It will get rid of the idiots from the earth and send them to hell. Long Live Steve Jobs!)
xxx
“Slow is the
fastest way to get where you want to go”- Actor Andre De Shields quoted in The Hollywood
Reporter.
(My comment-
Thanks Andre. Now I know I am on the fastest track. This morning, the total number
of hits for both my blogs crossed 11,000 hits per day mark; but I wanted to get
100,000 hits a day; I will reach my goal,
slowly, slowly)
Xxx
“People do
not change, they are merely revealed” – Writer Anne Enright quoted in the
Independent.
Xxx
“Time is an
illusion. Lunch time doubly so”- Douglas Adams, quoted in The Guardian
(My comment-
Very true! I worked for 43 years till my retirement in 2014. Lunch time was a
luxury, unobtainable!
Xxx
“It is
impossible that a man who is false to his friends and neighbours should be true
to the public”- Bishop Berkeley quoted
in The Guardian.
(My comment –
I am reminded of politicians, particularly, Indian politicians. Most of them
are not honest. Their friends expose them when they leave such unscrupulous
people and go to another group or political party)
Xxx
“I wear my enemies like medals”- Norman Stone quoted in The Sunday Times.
(My
comments- Hindu gods did this! The demon under the statue of Nataraja (Dancing
Shiva), the flags in the hand of Lord Skanda/ Kartikeya, and the Vahanas/
Mounts of several gods and goddesses are their enemies (demons)!
Tamil and Vedas 