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MEMORY and PATRIOTISM ANECDOTES (Post No.5216)

Written by London swaminathan

 

Date: 14 JULY 2018

 

Time uploaded in London – 7-52 am  (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 5216

 

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Wikipedia, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may be subject to copyright laws.

 

 

In the days before modern court reporting and our generally efficient and systematized courtroom procedure, an elderly Southern lawyer was the proud owner of a negro slave named Sam, who was endowed with a phenomenal memory.

 

Sam was able to sit in court and at any point in the process of a trial, he could reel off every word of testimony that had transpired before. Sam’s reputation was so great that his evidence “on the record” was accepted in any court in the State. One day the old lawyer was in his study when the Devil appeared.

What do you want?, demanded the lawyer.

I have come for Sam, was the answer. His time is up and he has got to go.

‘Now look here, said the lawyer, I cant spare Sam’.

‘Cant help it’, said the Devil

‘Come now, said the lawyer, you are a sporting man. I will make a little bet with you. If Sam’s memory is failing he is no good to me and you can take him. You go out and test him and if you can fool him, he is yours. But if you cant, he is mine

It is a bet, the Devil said, and disappeared.

Sam then was engaged in ploughing up his little patch of ground with a mule.

The Devil suddenly appeared before him and said, Do you like eggs?

Yessah, said Sam and the Devil disappeared.

In less than a year the Civil War broke out. Sam served first with his master on the Confederate side, was captured and forced to fight on the Northern side, and was then captured again by the Confederates.

 

He survived the War with only a minor wound, and after the emancipation was willingly liberated by his old master, who presented him with the patch of land which he had been accustomed to work for so many years,

 

One day as Sam was cultivating the little plot that was now his own, the Devil appeared before him,

How? said the Devil

Fried! said Sam. Whereupon the Devil vanished and left him in peace.

xxx

Patriotism Anecdote!

Jerrold was in France, and with a French man who was enthusiastic on the subject of the Anglo-French alliance. He said that he was proud to see the English and French such good friends at last, when Jerrold promptly answered,

“Tut! The best thing in know between France and England — is the sea.

XXX

 

xxxx Subham xxxx

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by Tamil and Vedas on July 14, 2018  •  Permalink
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Exaggeration Anecdotes (Post No.5199)

Compiled by London swaminathan

 

Date: 9 JULY 2018

 

Time uploaded in London – 14-08  (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 5199

 

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Wikipedia, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may be subject to copyright laws.


Mark Twain once asked a baggage handler in the railroad station in Washington,
“Is that satchel strong enough to go in the baggage car?”
The baggage man lifted the grip high above his head and smashed it to the ground with all his might.
That, said he, is what it will get in Philadelphia.
He picked it up and bashed it against the side of the car four or five times.
That is what it will get in Chicago, he continued.
He next threw it high in the air and when it had landed, jumped on it vigorously. It split open and scattered its contents over the platform.
And that is what it will get in Sioux City, you would better take it in the Pullman with you.

Xxx


The Chase National Bank. Operating all over the world, receives from its clients some very strange letters.
A short time ago, a dealer in fur from Australia wrote the following,
Dear Sirs,
“Am sending draft for a thousand pounds, with which please credit my account. Last year I crossed a kangaroo with a raccoon, and now I am raising fur coats with pockets”.

Xxx

Too much Ventilation!

 


Colonel Cody, Buffalo Bill , used to tell the story of an English visitor to the West. While riding The s Rocky Mountain canyon one day, a tremendous gust of wind swooped down and actually carried the English man off the wagon seat. After he had picked himself up and combed the sand and gravel out of his whiskers, he said,
“I say! I think you over do ventilation in the country!”
Xxx

Bill Nye, the humorist, was not given to mild statements. He had the following to say,
We have not  had more to say of the editor of the Sweet waters Gazette. Aside from the fact that he is a squint eyed, consumptive liar with a breath like a buzzard and a record like a convict, we don’t know anything about him. He means well enough, and if he can evade the penitentiary and the vigilance committee for a few more years, there is a chance for him to end his life in a natural way. If he don’t tell the truth a little more plentifully, however the Green River people will rise as one man and churn him up till there won’t be anything left of him but a pair of suspenders and a wart.

Xxxx

 


Bear stories are the stock in trade of the Alaskan sourdoughs.
One-of them told of his encounter with a giant a kadikak monster . He was all of two tons and he riz up and come at me. I didn’t manage to wound him just enough to make him mad. But then my rifle jammed. I headed for the nearest tree, but it only had one limb and that was thirty feet off the ground. I got there not more than a foot ahead of the bear and he took a swat at me as I gathered for the leap. He tore my Britches but didn’t quite getting me so badly I missed the limb.
What happened?
I caught it on my way down
Xxx

Col.John Cremony was a famous western figure and known as a yarn spinner. He told one story of a desperate flight from pursuing Indians,
“I had a fine horse and managed to keep far enough ahead so their arrows couldn’t reach me. I picked them off until my last cartridge was gone. Then I headed up a canyon and I will be doggoned if it didn’t end in a sheer wall I was trapped like a rat with a dozen Apaches closing in on me And me without as much as a penknife to defend myself.
What happened,Colonel?
Why, they killed me! Damn them, sir, they killed me!
Xxx SUBHAM xxx

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by Tamil and Vedas on July 9, 2018  •  Permalink
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STINGY AMERICANS (Post No.5195)

Economy & Endurance Anecdotes (Post No.5195)


Written by London swaminathan

 

Date: 8 JULY 2018

 

Time uploaded in London –  9-17 am (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 5195

 

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Wikipedia, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may be subject to copyright laws.

 

STINGY ROOSVELT


Shortly before sailing back to England foreign correspondent Quentin Reynolds was received by President Roosevelt in his office at the White House. While he was there the President put through a transatlantic call to another eminent statesman, Winston Churchill.
Mr Reynolds was slightly startled when, after a conversation, the President said
‘I will have to hang up now. My three minutes are up’.

Xxx

STINGY COOLIDGE

A visitor to the Whitehouse during the Coolidge administration said to the President that that he would greatly appreciate the gift of a cigar, not for himself but for a friend who had the eccentricity of collecting cigar bands from famous smokers all over the world .

President Coolidge thought the matter-over for a few seconds, then reached for a box of cigars.
Taking one out he carefully removed the band , replaced the cigar in the box , and handed the band to his visitor .

Xxx

BIG MONEY MAKES YOU STINGY!


At Lobbs, the famous English bootmaker, one day, I saw on the floor a heap of twenty or thirty boots , all needing cobbling badly.
Oh sir, Lobbs explained , these Belong to the best customer I ever had . He used to come in here and order15 or 20 pairs of boots ,
But when his father died he left him some three million dollars.

“Well, sir, since then he has not ordered a single pair of New boots but sends the old ones to be repaired”.
Who is he, Lobbs, I asked.
An American, sir…… his name is Pierpont Morgan
Xxxxx

 
Endurance anecdotes
In the days of the homestead law a prospective settler sought out a lawyer friend and asked him to explain the law and its operations.

I don’t know the exact text of the law, said his friend, but I can give you the draft of it. The government is willing to bet you 160 acres of land against 14 dollar that you can’t live on it five years without starving to death

 

XXX

BUYER SENT HOME!

Much more eccentricity anecdotes

Alfred Stieglitz has always been a highly arbitrary and erratic dealer in paintings . Once, at a show of the work of Georgia O Keefe, a wealthy woman expressed, with a slightly patronising attitude, a desire to purchase a certain picture . Repelled subtly by the woman’s manner Stieglitz snapped,
“Why do you want that painting? Give me some reason why you want it”
The prospective purchaser could think of no satisfactory reason and was refused the picture.

Xxx

 

‘Don’t you know who I am?’

A traffic cop will signal Pop Gershwin to stop. Pop has been exceeding the speed limit, perhaps in the u unconscious belief that the father of the jazz king has rights that even the police force must respect.
Don’t you know who I am? He asks the officer
I am the father of George Gershwin
At the same time, being a New Yorker, he pronounces the first name to rhyme with judge
(The Jewish American pronunciations of George and judge are surprisingly similar)

The officer scratches his head. He doesn’t know every judge in Gotham. Perhaps this judge Gershwin is a big run up in the Bronx. Better to be safe than sorry.

A salute and he  lets Pa Gershwin pass.
Who now can tell Pa that Gershwin isn’t the king?
Xxxx SUBHAM XXX

 

 

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Diligence and Discretion Anecdotes (Post No.5181)

Compiled by London swaminathan

 

Date: 4 JULY 2018

 

Time uploaded in London –   11-24 am (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 5181

 

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Wikipedia, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may be subject to copyright laws.

 
Abe Lincoln’s father was never at a loss for an answer. An old neighbor of Thomas Lincoln was passing the Lincoln farm one day when he saw Abe’s father grubbing some hazelnut bushes and said to him,
“Why, grand pop, I thought you wanted to sell your farm?”

“And so I do”, he replied,” but I am not going to let my farm know it.”

Xxx

 

Clarence Darrow was a hard -working and energetic man. His clothes were often dishevelled. Once he was ragged about this by a group of reporters. He silenced them by saying,
“I go to a better tailor than any of you and pay more money for my clothes. The only difference between us is that you probably don’t sleep in yours”.

Xxxx

Discretion Anecdotes

Pray, said a facetious lady,
Mr Pitt, as you know everything that is moving in the political world tell me some news.
“I am sorry Madam”, said the discreet premier,
“I have not read the newspaper of the day”.
Xxx

Can You Keep a Secret?

Secretary of the Navy Knox, was asked by an old friend some casual question about the movement of certain ships in Atlantic waters. The question was thoughtless and Knox leaned over with an air of confidence and said,
“Look Here, can you keep a secret?”
“Of Course of course” , replied the friend eagerly
“Well, said Knox, so can I”

Xxx

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Dullness Anecdotes (Post No.5176)

Compiled by London swaminathan

 

Date: 3 JULY 2018

 

Time uploaded in London –   12-11 (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 5176

 

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Wikipedia, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may be subject to copyright laws.

 

 
Lincoln was told of a profound historian.
“It may be doubted whether any man of our generation has plunged more deeply into the sacred fount of learning”
“Yes or come up drier”, said Lincoln.
Xxx

Great Bore!

One day one of the greatest bores of the Players Club said to Oliver Hereford,
“Oliver, I have been grossly insulted. Just as I passed that group over there I over heard someone say he would give me fifty dollars to resign from the club”.
“Hold out for a hundred, counselled Mr. Herford, you will get it.”

Xxx

 

JOHNSON READY TO WAIT

A gentleman who introduced his brother to Dr Johnson was desirous of recommending him to his notice; which he did by saying,
When we sat together sometime, you will find my brother growing very interesting.”
Sir. Said Dr Johnson
“I can wait”.
Xxx

PIN Without Head or Point

To a very thin man who had been boring him, Douglas Jerold said,
“Sir,you are like a pin, but without either it’s head or it’s point.”
Xxx

 

ARISTOTLE AND CHATTERBOX
An impertinent chatterbox, entertaining Aristotle, the philosopher, with a tedious discourse and observing that he did not much regard him, made an apology, that he was afraid he had interrupted him.

‘No really’, replied the philosopher, ‘you have not interrupted me at all , for I have not minded one word you said’.
Xxx

TIRESOME

Talleyrand was asked if a certain authoress whom he had long since known, but who had belonged rather to the last ag , was not, a little tiresome.
‘Not at all, said he, she was perfectly tiresome’.

Xxx

SLEEPY NOVELS

Sir Walter Scott’s faithful servant Tom said to him one day,
Them are fine novels of yours; they are invaluable to me. When I come home very tired, and take up , one of them , I am asleep directly.

Xxxx

 

Only One Idea!

Speaking of a dull, tiresome fellow whom he chanced to meet, DrJohnson said,
“That fellow seems to possess but one idea, and that is a wrong one”.

Xxx
The modest Joseph Addition was accused by a lady of being dull and heavy in conversation.
Madam, he replied, with great dignity, I have only nine pence in my pocket, but I can draw for a thousand pounds.
Xxxxx  SUBHAM xxx

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More Eccentricity Anecdotes (Post No.5171)

Compiled by London swaminathan

 

Date: 2 JULY 2018

 

Time uploaded in London –   7-10 AM (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 5171

 

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Wikipedia, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may be subject to copyright laws.
A story of Isadora Duncan’s:-
At the hotel Trianon D’ Annuncio had a gold fish which he loved. It was in a wonderful crystal bowl and D’Annunzio used to feed it and talk to it. The gold fish would agitate it’s fins and open and shut its mouth as though to answer him.

One day when i was staying at Trianon I said to the maitre d’hotel
Where is the gold fish of D’ Annunzio.?

Ah, Madam, sorrowful story!
D’Annuncio went to Italy and told us to take care of it.
The gold fish, he said, is so near to my heart. It is a symbol of my happiness! And he kept telegraphing
How is my beloved Adolphus?

One day Adolphus swam a little slowly round the bowl and ceased ask for D’Annuncio. I took it and threw it out of window. But there came a telegram from D’Annunzio
“Feel Adolphus is not well”.
I wired back Adolphus dead; died last night.
D’Annuncio  replied ‘Bury him in the garden. Arrange his grave’.
So I took a sardine and wrapped it in silver paper and buried it in the garden and put a cross
Here lies Adolphus

D’Annuncio  returned ‘Where is the grave of my Adolphus?
I showed him the grave in the garden and he brought many flowers to it and stood for a long time weeping tears upon it

((General Gabriele D’Annunzio, Prince of Montenevoso, Duke of Gallese OMS CMG MVM(Italian pronunciation: [ɡabriˈɛːle danˈnuntsjo]; 12 March 1863 – 1 March 1938), sometimes spelled d’Annunzio,[2] was an Italian writer, poet, journalist, playwright and soldier during World War I. He occupied a prominent place in Italian literature from 1889 to 1910 and later political life from 1914 to 1924. He was often referred to under the epithets Il Vate (“the Poet”)[3] or Il Profeta (“the Prophet”).))

Xxx

Edward W.Bok told :-
“I was asked to come to a breakfast at Oscar Wilde’s house, and noticed as I sat down that next to me, at my left had been placed a man instead of the usual rotation. I turned to my left to find my neighbor had pushed his chair back from the table about three feet, and buried his chin in his shirt bosom and was reaching forth for his eatable s and practically eating them from his lap, his cup resting upon on his knee. There was something familiar about the features of my neighbor who was eating in the most grotesque fashion I ever saw and yet I couldn’t place him. I looked for his place card, but I could see none. So I shoved back my chair and tried to engage him in conversation. But I was not rewarded by even a glance. When I asked a question I received either no answer at all or a grunt. After a few heroic efforts, I gave up the struggle.

At the close of the breakfast I asked Wilde,
Who in the world was that chap on my left?
I know, returned Wilde, I saw your valiant struggle. He gets that way once in a while, and this morning happened to be one of those whiles. That was Whistler!

((James Abbott McNeill Whistler (/ˈwɪslər/; July 10, 1834[1][2][3][4][5] – July 17, 1903) was an American artist, active during the American Gilded Age and based primarily in the United Kingdom. He was averse to sentimentality and moral allusion in painting, and was a leading proponent of the credo “art for art’s sake“. His famous signature for his paintings was in the shape of a stylized butterfly possessing a long stinger for a tail.))

Xxx

Alexander Pope said,

“Dean Swift has an old blunt way that is mistaken by strangers for ill nature: it is so odd that there is no describing it but by facts. I will tell you one that first comes into my head.
One evening John Gay and I went to see him. You know how intimately we were all acquainted. On our coming in, “Heyday , gentleman “ (says the doctor) what is the meaning of this visit?

How come you two to  leave all the great lads that you are so fond of, to come here to see a poor dean?
Because we would rather see you than any of them.
Aye, anyone that did not know you so well so well as I do might believe you. But since you have come, I must get some supper for you, I suppose.

No doctor, we have supped already
Supped already? Why it’s not eight o clock yet . That is very strange, but if you had not supped, I must have got something for you. Let me see what should i have had?
A couple of lobsters? Ay that would have done very well, two shillings, tarts a shilling. But you will drink a glass of wine with me, though you supped so much before your usual time, only to spare my pocket.
No we had rather talk with you than drink with you ,
But if you had supped with me, as in all reason you ought to have done, you must then have drank with me. A bottle of wine, two shillings. Two and two is four, and one is five. Just two and six pence a piece
There Pope, there is a half a crown for you, and there is another for you, Gay,

sir, for I won’t save anything by you I am determined

This was all said and done with his usual seriousness on such occasions and in spite of everything we could say to contrary, he actually obliged us to take the money.”

((Jonathan Swift (30 November 1667 – 19 October 1745) was an Anglo-Irish[1] satirist, essayist, political pamphleteer (first for the Whigs, then for the Tories), poet and cleric who became Dean of St Patrick’s Cathedral, Dublin.[2]

Swift is remembered for works such as A Tale of a Tub (1704), An Argument Against Abolishing Christianity (1712), Gulliver’s Travels (1726), and A Modest Proposal (1729). He is regarded by the Encyclopædia Britannica as the foremost prose satirist in the English language,[1] and is less well known for his poetry.))

Xxx SUBHAM xxx

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GURUR BRAHMA, GURUR VISHNU STORY (Post No.5168)

Dattatreya blessing Kartaveerya Arjuna

Written by London swaminathan

 

Date: 1 JULY 2018

 

Time uploaded in London –   7-02 AM (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 5168

 

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Wikipedia, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may be subject to copyright laws.

 

 

Hindus revere and respect the teacher as God. Whether it is archery or Atma Jnana lessons, dance or music lessons, same respect is given to the teachers, known in Sanskrit as Guru or Acharya. There is a story in Bhagavatha Purana about a great king of India who gained the strength of 1000 hands by serving his Guru.

 

Karatavirya Arjuna who is also known as Sahasrabahu- a man with 1000 hands—has good and bad qualities. Every coin has got two sides. He was the son of Krita Virya and his name was Arjuna. Just to differentiate between the Arjuna of Mahabharata and this man he was named Karta Veerya Arjuna. He ruled Haihaya Kingdom, the modern Madhya Pradesh. His capital was Mahismati on the banks of River Narmada.

 

Bhagavatha Purana narrates a story about his good deeds. He was a great disciple of Dattareya. He learnt all the scriptures—Vedas and Shastras—from him. It was a custom in ancient India to massage the feet of Guru when he goes to bed. Guru gives his full blessings when he is happy. He worshipped Dattatreya with the ancient sloka,

 

“Gurur Brahma, Gurur Vishnuh, Gurur Devo Mahesvarah

Guru Saakshaat Parabrahma Tasmai Sri Gurave Namah”

(Guru is Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva, Para brahma whom I worship)

Once Kartaveerya Arjuna was massaging the feet of his Guru Dattatreya. He got some burning sensation in his palms. but yet he continued his service. Slowly it went up to his arms and he was wriggling in pain. The Guru woke up he saw his distress and found out what happened. When he was told that his hands were burning, he took Kartaveerya’s hands and stroked them and told him that “from today onwards you will have the strength of one thousand hands and no one could defeat you on earth”. Thus he gained the name of Sahasra Bahu- man with 1000 hands — (actually strength of 1000 hands; thousand did not mean 1000 literally; it means great strength).

 

Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

So with all the great power he became very arrogant. When Ravana from Sri Lanka came to Narmada River area, Kartaveerya was bathing with his wives. When Ravana, who is fond of all beauties, eyed on his wives, Kartaveerya caught him like a bird and thrashed him. He imprisoned Ravana and placed him in the corner of Mahismati City as an exhibit. Then Ravana’s maternal Grandfather Pulastya used his influence and obtained the release of Ravana. He promised him not to come to his country in his life time.

 

When Kartaveerya became more arrogant he went to the Ashram (hermitage) of sage Jamadagni and his wife received him with all the honours fit for a king. But he made an ill return for her hospitality and carried off the divine milch cow. Jamadagni’s son Parasurama got angry and cut off his hands and killed him. Kartaveerya’s sons killed Jamadagni in a revenge attack. Then Parasurama vowed to kill all the Kshatria Kings whoever dared to oppose him. Thus Parasurama killed 21Kings.

About Kartaveerya, Hindu mythologies (Puranas) say,

“Having worshipped a portion of divine being called Dattatreya, sprung from the race of Atri, he sought and obtained these boons—

a thousand arms,

a golden chariot that went wheresoever he willed it to go,

the power of restraining wrong by justice,

the conquest of the earth and the disposition to rule it righteously,

invincibility by enemies and

death at the hands of a man renowned over the whole world”.

 

By him the earth was perfectly governed. It is said that the moment someone thought of doing wrong there he appeared and stopped it.

Another mythology praised him,

“ No other king shall ever equal Kartaveerya in regard to sacrifices, liberality, austerities, courtesy and self restraint”

Thus he ruled for 85 years with unbroken health, prosperity, strength and valour.”

In another place we read,

“When the demon king Ravana came in the course of his campaign of conquest to Mahismati, he was captured without difficulty, and was confined like a wild beast in a corner of his city Mahismati”

Only Vayu Purana differs slightly by saying Karta veerya invaded Lana and there took Ravana as prisoner.

 

(It may look like contradictory; but I think that both may be correct and could have happened at different times of his 85 year rule)

 

–Subham–

 

 

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Ambition and Abraham Lincoln anecdotes (Post No.5157)

compiled by LONDON SWAMINATHAN

 

Date: 28 JUNE 2018

 

Time uploaded in London –  11-57 AM (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 5157

 

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Wikipedia, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may be subject to copyright laws.\

 

 

Some of Abraham Lincoln’s intimate friends once called his attention to a certain member of his cabinet who was quietly working to secure a nomination for the Presidency, although knowing that Mr Lincoln was to be a candidate for re-election. His friends insisted that the cabinet officer ought to be made to give up his Presidential aspirations or be removed from office. The situation reminded Mr Lincoln of a story :-

“My brother and I , he said, were once playing plowing corn, I driving the horse and he holding the plow. The horse was lazy, but on one occasion he rushed across the field so that I, with my long legs could scarcely keep pace with him. Oh! reaching the end of the furrow, I found an enormous chin fly fastened up on him, and knocked him off. My brother asked what I did that for. I told him I didn’t want the old horse bitten in that way
“Why”, said my brother, “ that is all that made him go”.
Now,said Mr Lincoln, If Mr ,,,,,, has a Presidential chin fly biting him, I am not going to knock it off, if it will only make his department go

plow

/plou/

noun

  • a large farming implement with one or more blades fixed in a frame, drawn by a tractor or by animals and used for cutting furrows in the soil and turning it over, especially to prepare for the planting of seeds.

chin-fly

  • A horse bot-fly, Gastrophilus nasalis, possibly so called because its eggs are laid about the horse’s mouth where they can be reached by the tongue of the horse and thence carried to its stomach.

xxx

Egg Throwing!

Oliver Hereford, the well k own humourist, attended a dinner at which he was seated next to a very serious and soulful young lady.
“Tell me, Mr Hereford”, she asked, “have you no other ambition beyond making people laugh?”
In the same serious vein, Hereford replied,
“Yes I have. And some day I hope to gratify it”
Eagerly the girl asked, please tell me, “what is it?”
“I want to throw an egg into an electric fan,” replied Hereford simply.

Subham.

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STUPID MISTAKES IN NEWSPAPERS -ANECDOTES (Post No.5156)

Compiled by LONDON SWAMINATHAN

 

Date: 28 JUNE 2018

 

Time uploaded in London –  8-31 AM (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 5156

 

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Wikipedia, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may be subject to copyright laws.\

 

 

Boners (STUPID MISTAKES)  anecdotes
A woman whose husband had entered the Navy, gave the pastor of her church a note just as he was mounting to the pulpit one Sunday morning.
The note said “John Anderson, having gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety.”
The minister in haste picked up the slip and read aloud,
“John Anderson having gone to see his wife, desires the prayers of the  congregation for his safely”.

Xxxx


In the early days of his career the famous writer of short stories, Bret Harte, was editor of a newspaper in a California mining town. It was his painful duty one time to write an obituary for the highly respected wife of a leading citizen.
Harte concluded his remarks with the sentence,
“She was distinguished for charity above all the other ladies in this town”.

When the proof of this was handled to him he found that the compositor had rendered his statement,
“She was distinguished for chastity above all the other ladies of this town.”
Carefully, Harte corrected the matter thinking it sufficient to refer the compositor back to the original copy by a large query in the margin .

To his horror the following day the paper appeared with the statement
“She was distinguished for chastity (?) above all the other ladies in this town.”

Xxxx


A freight agent on the Delaware, Lackawanna and Western received a shipment including a donkey, which was itemised on the freight bill as “1 Burro”. He checked over his shipment carefully and then filed his report, concluding with,
“Short, 1 bureau, over 1 jackass”
Xxx

A cub reporter was sent to cover the annual class play of the local high school. Being new to his job he described the event in glowing terms, instead of scant few lines used by a more experienced newspaper man for such an event, and concluded with the words
“And the auditorium was filled with expectant mothers, eagerly waiting their offspring”.
Xxx subham xxx
.

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by Tamil and Vedas on June 28, 2018  •  Permalink
Posted in Culture, Quotations, Uncategorized
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Posted by Tamil and Vedas on June 28, 2018

https://tamilandvedas.com/2018/06/28/stupid-mistakes-in-newspapers-anecdotes-post-no-5156/

GOOD AND EVIL QUOTATIONS-JULY 2018 CALENDAR (Post No.5147)

Compiled by LONDON SWAMINATHAN

 

Date: 26 JUNE 2018

 

Time uploaded in London –  6-40 am (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 5147

 

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Wikipedia, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may be subject to copyright laws.

 

 

FESTIVAL DAYS- JULY 13 PARTIAL SOLAR ECLIPSE (VISIBLE IN AUSTRALIA) , JULY 14- PURI RATHA YATRA, JULY 17- DAKSHINAYANA PUNYA KALAM, JULY 27 VYASA PURNIMA AND LUNAR ECLIPSE (VISIBLE IN INDIA; CHANDRA GRAHANA)

 

FULL MOON DAY-27; NEW MOON DAY-12; EKADASI FASTING DAYS- 9, 23

AUSPICIOUS DAYS- 1, 2, 5, 11

 

 

JULY 1 SUNDAY

‘A good deed is never lost’

Na hi Kalyaanakrut Kascit Durgatim ( Bhagavad Gita 6-40)
For never does anyone who does Good tread the path of woe.
xxx

JULY 2 MONDAY

Good counsel has no price

Uddared Aatmanaatmaanam (Bhagavad Gita Chap. 6, Sloka 5)
One should lift oneself by one’s own efforts

xxx

 

JULY 3 TUESDAY

‘A good example is the best sermon’

The noble win over their foes by helping them—Ramayana Manjari
Ripum apyupakaarena vasikurvanti saadhavah

xxxx

JULY 4 WEDNESDAY

‘Example is better than percept’
‘Gurus can be had by hundreds and thousands but chelas ( disciples) -there is not one’ is an ancient saying. It means that many are the persons who can give good advice but those who follow it are few— Rama Krishna Paramahamsa

xxx

JULY 5 THURSDAY

‘A good horse should be seldom spurred’

The ethical excel — Katha Sarit Sagara
Gunavaan hi varah

xxx

JULY 6 FRIDAY

The wolf may lose his teeth, but never his nature

O destroyer of foes! No sin accrues to the slayer of sinners

Valmiki Ramayana 5-52-11

na paapaanaam vadhe paapam vidhyate satrusuudana

xxxx

JULY 7 SATURDAY

‘The good is the enemy of the best’

A single virtue eclipses all faults —-Canakya Niti 10-15
Eko gunah khalu nihanti samastadosaan

xxx

JULY 8 SUNDAY

‘Of two evils chose the least’

Go by merits, not looks — Subhasita Ratna Bhandakaram
Gunam prcchasva maa ruupam
xxx

 

JULY 9 MONDAY

‘Ill weeds wax well’

Sin manifests itself -Kahavatratnakar

svayam paapah prakaasate

xxxx

JULY 10 TUESDAY

‘Ill weeds grow apace (fast)’

Sin and mercury are hard to digest — Rama Krishna Paramahamsa

XXXX

JULY 11 WEDNESDAY

‘Better be alone than in bad company’

The saintly seek solitude Kavatratnakar
Santo vivikamicchanti

xxxx

JULY 12 THURSDAY

‘Evil communications corrupt good manners’

Those headed towards their doom , are inclined to sin – Ramayana Manjari

patisyataam matih praayah kilbisaabhinivesinii

xxxx

JULY 13 FRIDAY

There are black sheep in every flock

xxxx

JULY 14 SATURDAY

Envy shoots at others and wounds herself

Sin kills the sinner- Granthasthagagegaku

paapi paapena hanyate

 

JULY 15 SUNDAY

The treason is loved, but the traitor is hated

The merits of pilgrimages fructify in time, communion bears fruit instantly with the saintly— Canakya Niti 6-36
Kaalena phalate tiirtham sadhyah saadhusamaagamah

xxxx

JULY 16 MONDAY

‘Treachery will come home to the traitor’

In this very world , one reaps the fruits of one’s sins ere long

Valmiki Ramayana 3-29-9

na ciraat praapyate loke paapaanaam karmanaam phalam

xxx

JULY 17 TUESDAY

‘A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit’

Not merely the one who abuses the great, but he too who listens to it, partake of the sin- Kumarasambhavam 5-83

na kevalam yo  mahato papbhaasate srnoti tasmaadapi yassaabhaak

xxxx

JULY 18 WEDNESDAY

He that lies down with dogs must rise up with fleas

one sin, many suffer – Vidura Niti

ekah paapaani kurute phalam bhunkte mahaajanah

xxxxx

JULY 19 THURSDAY

‘From chipping come chips’

Even the talk of the sinners can cause sufficient harm -Kahavatratnakar

kathaapi khalu paapaanaamalamasreyase

xxx

JULY 20 FRIDAY

‘No smoke without some fire’

Heaven sometimes speaks through the mouths of lunatics, children and drunkards- Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa

xxx

JULY 21 SATURDAY

‘Of one evil come many’

Those who ridicule the noble are verily sinners and savages –Mrcchakatikam

ye bhibhavanti saadhum te paapaah te ca candaalaah- Mrcchakatika

XXX

JULY 22 SUNDAY

‘When the cat is away the mice will play’

As thieves cannot enter a house if inmates are wide awake, so if you are always on your guard, no evil thought will enter your mind to rob it of its goodness- Rama Krishna Paramahamsa

xxxx

JULY 23 MONDAY

‘Who sows the wind will reap the whirlwind’

The wages of the sin assuredly visit the sinner- Valmiki Ramayana 6-111-25

avasyameva labhate phalam paapasya karmanah

xxxx

JULY 24 TUESDAY

‘As you make your bed, so you must lie on it’

The most astounding sin is to slay the one who has been granted protection- Valmiki Ramayana 4-12-35

xxxx

JULY 25 WEDNESDAY

‘When you are well hold yourself so’

The company of the virtuous yield s every thing SBL
Satan hi sangassakalam prasuute
xxxx

JULY 26 THURSDAY

‘Leave (let) well alone’

For whom does not good company benefit? KSS
Kasya satsango na bhavecchubhah

xxx

JULY 27 FRIDAY

‘Ill news is too often true’

The wealth of the sinners is snatched away by fire, robbers, or kings- Kahavatratnakar

paapinastu  dhanam yaati vahnitaskarapaarthivaan

XXXX

JULY 28 SATURDAY

‘Bad news has wings’

The black axe of sin hews down all that is charming in no time – Brhat Katha Manjari

ramyam chinattisahasaa paapah kaakakuthaarikah-

xxx

JULY 29 SUNDAY

 

‘More have repented speech than silence’
The eloquent wise speak but one word, S V 2-109
Vaagekaavaagminahsatah

Xxxx

JULY 30 MONDAY

‘Speech is silvern, but silence is golden’

Fortune and misfortune depend upon words- Tirukkural 642

xxxx

JULY 31 TUESDAY

‘Speak fitly, or be silent wisely’

Spotless men speak what is sweet and grasp in others what is meet- Tirukkural 646

–subham–

 

 

 

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by Tamil and Vedas on June 26, 2018  •  Permalink
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