Voltaire, Churchill’s Wife and Max Beerbohm Anecdotes (Post No.3582)

French Poet Voltaire


Compiled by London swaminathan


Date: 27 January 2017


Time uploaded in London:-19-44


Post No.3582



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Fatness Anecdotes continued…………..


Chesterfield and Voltaire were once attending a ball in London. A celebrated beauty was there , much berouged and painted. This lady concentrated a great deal of her attention very flattering ly upon the renowned French man Chesterfield accosted Voltaire and cautioned jokingly

“Sir, take care that you are not captivated.”


“My old friend, said Voltaire, I scorn to be taken by an English craft with French colours”.



Churchill’s Wife in Election Campaign!

Lady Randolph Churchill was canvassing among the voters of Woodstock on behalf her husband, the then chancellor of the exchequer . Interviewing a workman, she asked for his support. No, certainly not, he replied. I should never think of voting for a I unity lazy fellow who never leaves bed until dinner time.

The lady assured him that he was wrongly informed, adding,

As I happen to be his wife, my evidence ought to be conclusive.

“Lor, madam”, he at once replied,

“If you were my wife I should never want to get up”.



British Painter Sir Joshua Reynolds

Signature for the Posterity!


One of the finest compliments ever offered was the compliment by Sir Joshua Reynolds to Mrs Siddons, the Queen of Tragedy, whose portrait he painted. When it was finished Mrs Siddons noticed a peculiar brocaded effect upon the corner of the robe, and found on closer examination that it was the painters name inscribed upon it. Turning to the artist she was met with a stately bow.

“I could not resist the opportunity, sir Joshua explained, of sending down my name to posterity on the hem of your garment.”




Picture of Max Beerbohm

Discovered sudden beauty!

It was one of those Selfridge election parties that Max Beerbohm was heard to make one of his delightful remarks. He and his wife had been asked to come to the party, which was attended by nearly all London. There were beautiful girls from the stage , striking ladies from the film studios and others both beautiful and striking from addresses Mayfair.

He looked gravely round at the faces near him. All were painted, not with the art that conceals art, but with the determination to gain attention. This elderly exquisite looked again and shuddered, then he turned to his wife,

“My dear, you are looking so charming tonight that I simply must talk to you”.


Churchill’s Moustache! More Rough and Ready Anecdotes (Post No. 3472)

Compiled by London swaminathan


Date: 22 December 2016


Time uploaded in London:- 8-13 AM


Post No.3472



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Did you call me X Y Z?
Chief Justice Marshall of the US Supreme Court related that Governor Giles of Virginia once addressed a note to Patrick Henry
“Sir, I understand that you have called me a “Bobtail politician “. I wish to know if it be true and, if true, your meaning” – W M Giles

Patrick Henry replied
“Sir, I do not recollect calling you a Bobtail politician at any time but think it probable I have. Not recollecting the time of the occasion, I can’t say what I did mean; but if you will tell me what you think I meant, I will say whether you are correct or not”.
Very Respectfully,
Patrick Henry



Winston Churchill’s Moustache!

At that stage in his political career at which Winston Churchill switched over from the Conservative to the Liberal side of the house , many of his erstwhile adherents were sorely offended. A snappish young lady once told him playfully, “There are two things I don’t like about you, Mr Churchill.
“Yes”, he inquired.

“Your new politics and your new moustache”.
“My dear Madam, said Churchill coldly, you are not likely to come into much contact with either”.


Shooting just for the Motion!

At Kentucky (USA) political meeting a certain participant in the debate was shot by the several of the others at the meeting. The event occurred on the open floor and created a considerable stir in the community .

A Northerner, who was in the town, asked an
acquaintance who had been present, why the shooting had occurred.
“He made a motion that was Out of order”, explained the Kentuckian.
Horrified at this excess of parliamentarianism ,
“You mean to tell me that they shot a man in cold blood on the floor of the meeting just for making a motion that was out of order!”
“Well, drawled his informant, the motion was toward his hip pocket ”


Let them Enjoy or You Speak! Eleven Anecdotes (Post No. 2527)


Picture of Joseph Chamberlain

Compiled by london swaminathan

Post No. 2527

Date: 10th February 2016

Time uploaded in London  16-28

( Thanks for the Pictures  ) 




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1.Let them enjoy or You speak!

Joseph Chamberlain, Prime Minister of England, told this story about himself. He was guest of honour at a banquet. The mayor of the city presided and when coffee was being served he leaned over and touched Mr Chamberlain saying, “Shall we let them enjoy themselves a little longer or had we better have your speech now?”



2.Continued talk after a year!


Eamon de Valera was once arrested in Ennis in the middle of a political speech. A year later he was released.  He went forthwith to Ennis, and began to speak again with the words, “As I was saying when I was interrupted…”



3.Envy a Waiter!


When Lyon Phelps tells, “Having to speak at a public dinner in Chicago, I found my place at the pillory of torment, the speakers’ table: and there, seeing a magnificent man in evening dress, I gave him my name and grasped his hand with what cordiality I could command.

“I am the headwaiter, sir”, he replied.

“Shake hands again, old man” I cried. “You don’t know how I envy you.”



4.If you say something…..


When Dr Walter Williams spoke in a Chinese university, an interpreter translated into Chinese symbols on a black board. Dr Williams noted that the interpreter stopped writing during most of the speech and at the conclusion he asked why. “We only write when the speaker says something,” was the blithe reply.


5.Latin, please!


Andrew Jackson, before he became President, was making once a stump speech in a small village. Just as he was finishing, a friend who sat near him whispered, “Tip them a little Latin, General; they won’t be contented without it.”


The man of iron will instantly thought upon the few phrases he knew, and in a voice of thunder wound up with “E pluribus unum (from many one), sine qua non (necessary), ne plus ultra (no more beyond), multum in parvo (small but significant).” The effect was tremendous, and the shouts of the Hoosiers could be heard for miles.

(just bluffed by saying some Latin phrases he knew)




6.Shortest speech!


At a banquet in connection with the war effort, the toast master opened the speaking with the assurance that all the guests had promised to make brief addresses. It chanced that the first to be called upon was the heavy weight champion, Private Joe Louis, who rose to his feet and said, “The toastmaster must have known my speed,” and sat down.



7.Letting steam off

During a parliamentary discussion on curtailing debate Sir Campbell Bannerman remarked that, “it was reasonable that Members should wish to let off a certain amount of intellectual steam.”

“is that a polite way of describing debate in this House?” interposed Balfour.


“I thought steam was a motive power,” replied Bannerman.

“Not when it is let off,” retorted Balfour amidst the laughter of the House.





8.Churchill’s Speech!

Some years ago Winston Churchill highly amused his fellow Members in the House by distributing among them printed copies of his recent speeches. A Liberal Member for one of the Devonshire constituencies acknowledged the gift in the following manner:

“Dear Mr Churchill, Thanks for the copy of your speeches lately delivered in the House of Commons. To quote the late Lord Beaconsfield: ‘I shall lose no time in reading them.’



9.Likee soup? Likee speech?


At a banquet at Princeton University (USA), the great Chinese diplomat, Dr Wellington Koo, was the guest of honour and main speaker. As one of a number of representatives of the student body on this occasion, a burly member of the football team found himself seated next to Dr.Koo. Very embarrassed by the formality of the occasion and utterly at a loss for conversation, the young man turned to Dr.Koo during the soup course and said, “Likee Soup?”


Dr Koo urbanely bowed his head and grinned. Later he arose and delivered a polished, thoughtful and witty address. Sitting down amid applause, Dr Koo turned to the chagrined student and said smiling, “Likee speech?”



10.Unvarnished speech!

Dean Briggs was once one of the speakers at the formal banquet at Radcliffe college, in preparation for the event, among other things, the chairs been given a new coat of varnish. The evening was hot and humid and, as the speakers rose to deliver their remarks, it was with some difficulty.


The dean was more than equal to the occasion. “Ladies and Gentlemen”, he said, “with a cruel backward glance, “I had expected to bring you this evening a plain and unvarnished tale, but circumstances make it impossible to fulfil my intentions.”

(unvarnished= plain, simple)


1000 girls

11.Talking to 1000 girls


When J M Barrie addressed an audience of one thousand girls at Smith College during his American visit, a friend asked him how he had found the experience.

“Well”, replied Mr Barries, “to tell you the truth, I would much rather talk one thousand times to one girl, than to talk one time to a thousand girls.”