Compiled by London Swaminathan
swami_48@yahoo.com
Date: 8 October 2018
Time uploaded in London –18-39 (British Summer Time)
Post No. 5519
Pictures shown here are taken from various sources including google, Wikipedia, Facebook friends and newspapers. This is a non- commercial blog.
Babies Anecdotes
During gold rush days in California, a lady took her infant to the theater ones evening and it started crying just as the orchestra began to play
Stop those fiddle s and let the baby cry, called a man in the pit
I haven’t heard such a sound in ten years!
The audience applauded the sentiment widely, the orchestra was stopped, and the baby continued its performance amid unbounded enthusiasm .
Xxx
The six year old wandered into the room where the brand new baby was being nursed. Because of her interest in the process, the mother carefully explained how mother animals furnish milk for their babies, even the human species. The child was satisfied on all but one point.
But mother, she demanded, is it pasteurised?
Xxx
Burdened with the care of a new baby the young mother sent her little brother to the department store to get some things for the new arrival.
He managed to get everything without too much trouble. The last item on his list was diapers. He went to the counter where they were sold , stated his wishes and in the space of a few minutes the salesgirl returned with a bundle.
That will be sixty cents for the diapers and two cents for the tax.
Ah, never mind the tacks , said the youngster , Sis puts them on the baby with safety pins”
Xxx
Small Children Anecdotes
When he was in a nursery school, Woody, the young son of Heywood Broun, was constantly annoyed by grown up visitors to whom he had been pointed out, who kept coming up to him and asking him in saccharine tones
And whose little boy are you?
To one such inquirer, when his patience was exhausted, Woody peremptorily replied
You know damned well whose little boy I am!
Xxx
Themistocles had a son who was the darling of his mother
This little fellow , said Themistocles, is the sovereign of all Greece
How so? Asked a friend.
Why?, he governs his mother, his mother governs me, I governs Athenians, and the Athenians govern all Greece.
Xxx
Napoleon the Third was practising a Spartan method of education for the little five year old Louise Napoleon .
One day, in pursuance of his course, at Biarritz the child was given a swimming lesson by being tossed head first into the water. He was quite terrified and was severely reproached for this. He, a corporal, who could face a loaded canonical without wincing, and yet was afraid of the water!
Well, whimpered, little Louis,
I am in command of the cannon but I am not in command of the sea.
Xxx
Generally Byron suffered a moody and irritable childhood, between his cruel nurse whom he hated and feared, and his eccentric and tempestuous mother. In fourth year he bit a large piece out of a China saucer “ in a silent rage “ . Coming into the title at ten , he burst into tears when first called ‘dominus ‘ (LORD) at school.
XXX
The late, Sir Josiah Stamp, the economist was fond of a story about a parliamentary candidate who approached a house in his constituency and saw two small children of identical size and appearance standing hand in hand before the cottage door.
Jovially he asked them if they were twins.
No sir, they answered.
You are brothers, aren’t you? He inquired.
Yes,they said.
Well, how old are you?
We are both five..
Well,m y goodness, if you are both five and brothers you must be twins.
Please,sir, one of them,
We are triplets . Billie is indoors.
Xxx
The little young lady of the house, by way of punishment for some misdemeanour, was compelled to eat her dinner alone at a corner of the dining room. The rest of the family paid no attention to her presence until they heard her audibly delivering Grace over her own repast, with the words,
I thank Thee Lord for preparing a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.
GRACE:
Following after the example of Jesus himself, Christians for centuries have maintained the tradition of saying “grace” or “thanks” before consuming a meal. It is a simple way of recognizing how God is the one who ultimately provides the food that we enjoy each and every day.
Xxx subham xxx
