MEN ARE SCOUNDRELS- ANECDOTES! (Post No.4958)

Compiled by London Swaminathan 

 

Date: 28 APRIL 2018

 

Time uploaded in London – 16-36 (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 4958

 

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BEHAVIOUR AND EATING ANECDOTES

GEORGE CHEYNE, A SCOTCH PHYSICIAN, WHEN A PERSON WAS TALKING ABOUT THE EXCELLENCE OF HUMAN NATURE, EXCLAIMED:

“HOOT, HOOT, MAN!

HUMAN NATURE IS A ROGUE AND A SCOUNDREL, OR WHY SHOULD IT PERPETUALLY STAND IN NEED OF LAWS AND OF RELIGION”

 

XXX

 

EATING

At a certain dinner party Daniel Webster found himself preyed upon by hat type of hostess who endlessly and mercilessly worries her guests with the insistence that they are not eating enough, that possibly they do not like this or that, will they not have more, is there anything else they would prefer, and so forth.

 

“You are hardly eating a thing, Mr Webster”, she protested for the umpteenth time.

“Madam”, said Webster solemnly, “permit me to assure you that I sometimes eat more than at other times but never less”.

 

xxx

 

Time to eat!

Bishop Davidson of Winchester was once one of a party of ecclesiastics who went into dinner after a religious conference. One of the others observed in a tone of pompous self-righteousness, “This is the time to put a bridle on our appetites”.

No, returned the bishop, “this is the time to put a bit in our mouths”.

 

xxx

Why did I come to Africa?

 

“Why did I come to Africa?” Cecil Rhodes once remarked to a friend, “Well they will tell you that I came on account of my health or from love of adventure – and to some extent that may be true, but the real fact is that I could no longer stand their eternal cold mutton”.

 

xxx

Strawberries and Prunes!

In his early boarding-house days, in Kansas city, Eugene Field was invited to dine at a hospitable house where the best of everything was to be found. Some delicious strawberries were passed. Filed gazed at them longingly but shook his head.

“Why, Mr Field”, said his host in surprise, “ don’t you like strawberries?”

I dote on them.

Then why don’t you take some?

“I am afraid”, said the poet sadly, “that if I did, they would spoil my appetite for prunes”.

xxx

Charles Lamb

Thomas Hood, tempting Charles Lamb to dine with his said, “We have a hare”.

“Ad how many friends”, anxiously inquired Lamb.

 

xxx

Alfred Hitchcock

Alfred Hitchcock is a man notably fond of food. He is said to have once been a guest at a rather sparsely furnished dinner table, which had yielded him no more than a small portion of one thing or another amounting to a totally unsatisfactory sum. As the coffee was being brought in, his host said, “I do hope that you will soon dine here again”.

“By all means”, said Hitchcock. “Let us start now”

–Subham–

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