COMPILED by London Swaminathan
swami_48@yahoo.com
Date: 27 June 2019
British Summer Time uploaded in London –20-29
Post No. 6607
Pictures are taken from various sources including Facebook, google,
Wikipedia. This is a non- commercial blog. ((posted by swamiindology.blogspot.com
AND tamilandvedas.com))
MORE CHURCH ANECDOTES
There had been a series of severe electrical storm s In
Oorange, New Jersey and the vestrymen of a certain church in that town had
discussed the advisability of placing lightning rods on the edifice. So they
went on to call Thomas Edison, the inventor, to get his opinion.
“I think, Sir”, said their
spokesperson, “the lightning rods are a mighty good thing on a building. What
do you think?”
“What sort of building is this ?” Asked Edison impatiently.
“A church”.
“By all means put them on”,
said the great inventor.
“You know Provident is absent minded sometimes”.
Xxx
PICK POCKETS IN SYNAGOGUE
Harpo Marx is not a religious man. He has never entered a
synagogue but once since his Bar Mitzvah. On this occasion he entered a
synagogue in search of his bootlegger. He got his pocket picked.
BAR MIZVAH
Bar mitzvah is a Jewish coming of age ritual for boys. Bat mitzvah is a Jewish coming of age ritual for girls. The plural is b’nai mitzvah for boys, and b’not mitzvah for girls.
Xxxx
President , I am not sure, but God will be
there!
One day the telephone in the office of the Rector of President
Roosevelt ‘s Washington Church rang and an
eager voice said,
“Tell me, do you expect the
president to be in church this Sunday?”
That, the rector explained patiently,
“I can’t promise. However, God will be there and that will be
incentive enough for a reasonably large attendance”.
Xxx
ONE TOOT, YOU AARE OOT
In a small Scottish church, a sexton was painstakingly pursuing his duties, seeing that everyone had his place and was properly quiet during the sermon.
In a small Scottish church, a sexton was painstakingly pursuing his duties, seeing that everyone had his place and was properly quiet during the sermon.
Suddenly he spied an old Scots woman with an ear trumpet.
Being unfamiliar with this device, he hurried over to her and in a low tone
said,
One toot and you are oot. (OUT)
ear trumpet
noun
- a trumpet-shaped device formerly used as a hearing aid.
Xxx
JEROME D ENGEL
In the later years of his ministry, the southern preacher
Jerome D Engel, became slightly hard of hearing. A legend has it that at one
service during the announcement period, Engel informed the congregation about
new hymnal S which were being ordered and which were to be purchased
individually by the congregation. When he had finished the announcement, the
Deacon of the church rose to remind the audience that the following Sunday was
the regular day for the baptism of infants.
Engel, not hearing clearly, and thinking that the deacon had
made reference to the books, hastily added,
All you who haven’t any , can get as many as you want, by
calling on me, at 75 cent a piece.
Xxx
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE PREACHING
A woman engaged an Irish maid from the city to serve at her
country estate. The girl was a devout catholic and suffered from the fact that
the only church of any description within reach of her new place of employment
was a Christian Science temple. Feeling the necessity to worship in somewise
she at last attended service there . Upon her return her employer asked
“Well, Mary, how did you like the Christian Science services?”
“Faith, said Mary, it was mighty quare. I went in and sat
down and after a time a man on one side of the church got up and told what Mary
Baker Eddy had done for him. Then another man got up and told what Mary Baker
eddy done for him. And next a woman in front of me got up and told what Mary
Baker eddy done for her, and it went on until I couldn’t it stand it any longer
and I got right up and told what Lydia E Pinkham had done for me”.
Lydia Pinkham
Inventor
Description
Lydia Estes Pinkham was the inventor and marketer of an herbal-alcoholic “women’s tonic” for menstrual and menopausal problems, which some dismissed as a quack remedy, but which is still on sale today in a modified form
Xxxxsubham xxxx
Xxxxsubham xxxx
