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Accuracy and Absent Mindedness Anecdotes (Post No.5143)

Compiled by LONDON SWAMINATHAN

 

Date: 24 JUNE 2018

 

Time uploaded in London –  9-17 am  (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 5143

 

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Wikipedia, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may be subject to copyright laws.

More Absent mindedness anecdotes

 

Nose, Big Nose!!
When her daughters were very small girls, Mrs Dwight Morrow gave a high tea at which one of the guests was to be the senior JP Morgan.
The girls were to be brought in, introduced and ushered out. Mrs Morrow’s great fear was the possibility that Anne, the most outspoken of them, might comment audibly upon Mr Morgan’s celebrated and conspicuous nose. She therefore took pains to explain to Anne that personal observations were impolite and and to caution her especially against making any comment upon Mr Morgan’s nose, no matter what she thinks of it.
When the moment came and the children were brought in, Mrs Morrow held her breath as she saw Anne’s gaze unfalteringly fix upon this objective and remain there.

Nonetheless, the introduction was made, the little girls curtsied and were sent on their way. With a sigh of relief Mrs Morrow turned back to her duties as hostess and said to her chief guest, “And now, Mr Morgan, will you have cream or lemon in your nose?”

Xxxx

Lungs!
That absent minded professor Schmaltz has left his umbrella again. He would leave his head if it were loose, observed the waiter.
That is true, said the manager, I just heard him say he was going to Switzerland for his lungs.
Xxx

 

Send a wreath for Your Own Death!

The professor was very absent minded;

Did you see this?, his wife asked as he came in.
There is a report in the paper of your death.
“Dear me, said the professor, we must remember to send a wreath”.
Xxx


Forgotten Floor!
You mean to say, asked the judge of the defendant, that you threw your wife out of the second story window through forgetfulness ?
Yes sir, replied the defendant
We used to live on the ground floor and I plumb forgot we moved.
Xxxx

Top Speed! To Unknown Destination!

Thomas Henry Huxley once arrived late in a town in which he was to deliver an important lecture.
Jumping into a cab, he cried to the driver ,”Top speed!”

In a hurry the cabby whipped his horse into action and the vehicle went bumping along the streets at a wild clip. The lack of dignity and organisation in the proceedings then dawned upon Huxley, and above the clatter of the wheels he shouted to the driver,
“Here,here, do you know where I want to go?”
“No, Your Honour, called the cabby, cracking his whip the while, but I am driving as fast as I can.”

Xxxxx

Accuracy anecdotes
Cordell Hull is an extremely cautious speaker, striving always for scientific accuracy. One day on a train, a friend pointed to a fine flock of sheep grazing in a field. Look, those sheep have just been sheared, he said.
Hull studied the flock. Sheared on this side any way, he admitted.

Xxx

Tit for Tat

The captain of a certain freighter was martinet who, although technically just, was noted far and wide, for the strictness of his interpretation of the facts.

On a certain voyage he had a new first mate, an able and conscientious man. Following an of shipboard revelry, the captain entered in the log the note, ‘The first mate was drunk last night’.
Seeing this the mate was greatly distressed and pled with the captain to strike it off the record. He had never been drunk before, he insisted, would not be drunk again; was conscientious in the performance of his duties and had been off duty at the time of the offence anyway.
He begged for leniency, pointing out what an unduly detrimental effect on his record such an entry on the log might have.

 

The captain remained adamant, “you were drunk last night and I cant change the fact. The record will stand’.

 

Much wounded by this the first mate resumed his duties. That night it fell to his lot to make the next entry in the log for a period of his watch. This he did, with what may be called a malicious scrupulousness of accuracy. Accordingly the captain next day found on the log that innocently damning statement, “The captain was sober last night”.
 

–Subham–

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by Tamil and Vedas on June 24, 2018  •  Permalink
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Gambling Anecdotes (Post No.5140)

Compiled by LONDON SWAMINATHAN

 

Date: 23 JUNE 2018

 

Time uploaded in London –  11-57 am  (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 5140

 

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Wikipedia, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may be subject to copyright laws.

 

Picture by Lalgudi Veda

At a large party, Mrs Henry Clay, chaperoning a young lady, passed through a room where gentlemen we’re playing cards, Mr Clay among them.
“Is this a common practice?, inquired the young lady.
“Yes, said Mrs Clay, they always play when they get together.”
“Doesn’t it distress you to have Mr Clay gamble?”
“No, my dear, said the old lady composedly , he most always wins.”
Xxxxx

BOOK MAKER APPROACH!

An ailing book maker sent his son to summon the doctor. Instead of the expected man, a stranger arrived. Later the book maker asked for an explanation.
“Well,said the boy ,there were a lot of brass plates on the doors, and when I got to the one you told me to go to, it said,
Consultations 11 to 12.
The one next to it said, 10 to 1.
And I knew you would like the one who gave the best odds
Xxx

Comedian Win

The British comedian, Beatrice Lillie, once won a hundred and fifty thousand franks at Chemin de fer through having the hiccoughs. Her repeated convulsions and noises were interpreted by the croupier as cries of Banquo.

BANQUO: Character in Macbeth, Gambling, Bank.

Xxxx
Anti Poker Grandma was cheated!


A Grandmother was bitterly opposed to gambling games, especially poker, but gave her sanctions to the playing of authors. So the grandchildren engaged her interests in the game of her choice. Her enthusiasm increased as the game progressed, and while she knew that the cards used were a deck of authors ,she didn’t know that the game she was playing was poker , and that grand mother was enthusiastically playing Whittier’s wild (Poems)

Xxx

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by Tamil and Vedas on June 23, 2018  •  Permalink
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Smoking and Hotels Anecdotes (Post No.5113)

Compiled by LONDON SWAMINATHAN

 

Date: 15 JUNE 2018

 

Time uploaded in London –  8-11 am  (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 5113

 

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may be subject to copyright laws.

 

Charles Steinmetz, the electrical wizard, was an inveterate smoker. When a notice forbidding smoking was posted in the General Electric plant where he worked, Steinmetz ignored it until an executive asked if he was not aware of the rule.  The answer was a cold indifferent stare.

The next day Steinmertz didn’t show up, and for two days no one heard  from him, while important work untouched.  Then began a serious search which ended in the lobby of a Buffalo hotel where he was found sitting at ease in a huge chair puffing a cigar.

 

Told that the whole company was looking for him, and asked why he had left so unceremoniously, he calmly replied, came up here to have a smoke.

After that the smoking rule was never applied to him.

 

Xxx

Profane Archbishop!

A certain Elector of Cologne, who was at the same time Archbishop, had one day made mad use of profane words and then said to a farmer who could not conceal his astonishment,

“Why do you look so surprised?”

The farmer replied, “because an archbishop can be so profane”

 

“I do not swear as an archbishop”, replied that person, but as a prince.

“But Your Highness, answered the farmer, when the prince goes to hell, what will become of the archbishop?”

Profane= to treat something sacred with abuse

xxx

 

HOTELS AND RESTAURANTS ANECDOTES

A game of poker Dolmonico’s had lasted well into the night when one of the party, the late Colonel John R Fellows, ordered a plate of sandwiches. The familiar dainty triangle variety was served and  disappeared instantly. A hungry about went up for more.

 

More sandwiches, waiter, said Fellows.

Yes, sir; how many sir? Returned the waiter.

Well, said Fellows, with a calculating air, judging by the size of your sandwiches and the size of this bill, I should say about 2000 dollars’ worth.

 

Xxx

Mr Disraeli said he did not remember a certain inn, upon which the owner assured  him he must be mistaken.

 

You must remember the house, sir; there was a very handsome bar maid there, monstrous fine gal–  you must have been in Kings Arms sir.

Perhaps, said Disraeli, “if I had been in her arms I might have remembered it.

 

Xxx

For a laconic philosophy, it is hard to match the case of the man who checked into a hotel in small Mid-Western city and went up to his room. Later in the evening he came down, his suit case in his hand,  and checked out.

What is the trouble, sir? Asked the clerk, slightly puzzled.

Don’t you find the room satisfactory?

The room is alright, said the man, except for one thing. It is on fire.

Xxx  SUBHAM xxxx

 

 

 

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by Tamil and Vedas on June 15, 2018  •  Permalink
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Fatness and Drinking Anecdotes (Post No.5110)

 

Compiled by LONDON SWAMINATHAN

 

Date: 14 JUNE 2018

 

Time uploaded in London –  19-56  (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 5110

 

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may be subject to copyright laws.

The English artist C R W Nevinson tells,

“Sisley Huddleston and I were great friends. He was a man of enormous stature.   We have dined and wined together in all parts of Paris, roared with laughter, and teased ‘the girls’.  On one occasion Sisley, Clive Bell and I had eaten chicken and rice and had drunk wine with it.  Being a large man, Sisley had a large appetite.  We took one of those tiny Parisian taxis to Boulevard street St Germain and when we arrived outside we discovered that the rice had swelled so much inside Sisley that it was impossible for him to get out of the door. We pushed and pulled, but he seemed to be growing larger before our eyes; and at length the driver opened the roof, and Sisley came out through that and over the back.  By that time he and I and the driver were so hysterical with merriment that they refused us permission to the Brasserie Lipps in the belief that we were drunk; and Clive Bell who had stood by, shocked and exquisite, was furious because he had a rendezvous there with famous artist Derain.

Xxxx

Too big for the Door!

Years ago, when one of her sons was a cadet at Culver,  Madame Shumann Heink  went to visit him.  She was told where his dormitory was, and wishing to surprise him, she decided to go to his room unannounced.  Arriving at the dormitory she found it to be still under construction.  As she went through a door way, the silver of would caught on her dress and tore a small hole in it. A cadet, who happened to be passing by at that time, called out impudently,

“Madame you should have gone through that door sideways”.

Without taking offence, the heavily built singer laughed heartily,

“Mein got, child, I have no sideways”.

Xxx

Drinking Anecdotes

 

The temperance lecturer, having exhorted the audience with the full force of his eloquence, having demonstrated all the familiar tricks, such as the emersion of an angleworm in a glass of whisky with its consequent agonies, decided to cap the climax with a homely object lesson:

“If I put a pail of whisky and a pail of water in front of a hard-working donkey toiling in the fields, which would he drink?”

 

“The water, bellowed a lusty voice in the audience”.

“That is true, my friend”, said the lecturer.

“And why would he drink water?”

Because he is a jackass, was the immediate reply.

(Jackass= a stupid person or an ass/donkey)

 

Xxx

Let me out

No durance vile could be more pathetic than that suffered by the drunk who was found wandering agonizingly around and around on the sidewalk outside the fence which encloses Gramercy Park, beating upon the bars and screaming, “Let me out”.

Xxx

Two people Remained!

In the days of Nevada was a territory Bill Nye, the humourist was appointed Governor.  So he journeyed to Carson city to take over his duty, and the boys had  gotten together and decided to put the Easterner and his friend in their place by giving them a big banquet and drinking them under the table in short order.  The night of the banquet drinks and speeches flowed unceasingly for hours.  One by one those present slipped gracefully under their chairs and slumbered noisily beneath the tablecloths.

At a small hour of the night only two men were left in a state of consciousness and seated upright—Bill Nye and Mark Twain.

“Well, Bill”, said Twain, stretching and getting up from his chair, “lets go out of here somewhere and Get a drink”

xxx

 

Full, Half, Quarter…. Empty Whiskey Bottle

The representative of an auction house was sent to a home to take an inventory of the goods therein in preparation for a sale. The inventory had progressed in an orderly manner through many large items, such as , one walnut bedroom suite, then listed in detail, and similar items of furnishings.

At the top of this list was one quart scotch whiskey, full, the list continued, then appeared the item, one quart whiskey, partially full. The list continued; then appeared the item, one whiskey bottle, empty.

The final item on the list was, two revolving Turkish rugs!

XXX  SUBHAM XXX

 

 

 

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by Tamil and Vedas on June 14, 2018  •  Permalink
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PROBLEMS SOLVED WITH A CATALOGUE! (Post No.5092)

Compiled by London swaminathan

 

Date: 9 JUNE 2018

 

Time uploaded in London –  14-51  (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 5092

 

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may be subject to copyright laws.

 

EMPLOYMENT AND WORK ANECDOTE

An enterprising American telephone engineer established somewhere in Panama a unique business, a four-leaf clover arm. The conditions were ideal and he raised fine, large clovers which he was able to market in a variety of ways for a variety of purposes, to florists, manufacturers of novelties etc.

 

At the height of his success, all of his employees, a group of Panamanian girls, confronted him with an unprecedented labour problem.  They had no objection to the wages or the hours, they seemed to have nothing to do with the money.

 

Perplexed in the extreme, their employer raked his brains until he hit upon a brilliant solution. He sent for a Sears-Roebuck catalogue and put it in the hands of the girls, explaining to them how they could come into possession of those fabulous articles pictured therein. His problem was solved.

 

xxx

 

Poverty Anecdote

C R W Nevinson tells this story:

“One day he (Henry Matisse) wanted to do a lithograph. I offered him all my chalk and stones, but he would have none of them. He got some lithographic paper, broke one of my lithographic chalks in half, and left himself with only about an inch and a quarter of grease to draw with. When I protested, and pressed him to take a box, he assured me it was unnecessary and much too expensive a gift, a comment on the wonderful French economy and the appalling poverty he must have suffered in his early days”.

 

xxx

 

Working Conditions anecdote

A well-meaning employer desired to introduce a new spirit into his plant. He called his employees together, and said, “Whenever I come into the shop, I want to see every man cheerfully at work. I am placing a box here and I should like anyone who has any suggestions as to how this may be brought about more efficiently to just put it in here.”

 

The next day he saw a slip of paper in the box and looked at it. It said, “Take the rubber heels off your shoes”.

 

xxx

King and Emperors Anecdotes

The late King George the Fifth, in his domestic setting, was quite an average husband and family head. When, on social occasions, he would talk too long to someone or express himself too rashly, Queen Mary would prod him gently with her umbrella and murmur ‘Now George’. Also when palace guests would admire the Cloisonné, the Wedgewood, the Chippendales etc., the King would always refer to his wife, saying, ‘Now, Mary, you know about this’.

 

xxx

King of Italy!

It is reported that King Victor Emmanuel, when asked what he thought of the African campaign, replied very unenthusiastically, “If Italy wins, I shall be King of Ethiopia; if the Ethiopians win, why then I shall be King of Italy again.”

–Subham–

 

 

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WIFE BEATING HUSBANDS AND POLYGAMY ANECDOTES (Post No.5007)

Compiled by London Swaminathan 

 

Date: 13 May 2018

 

Time uploaded in London – 15-47 (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 5007

 

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Henry William Anglesea, a British peer and soldier who died in 1854, was angrily beating his wife. She pointed to a house maid and cried out,

“How much happier is that wench than I am?”

Her husband immediately kicked the maid downstairs and then said,

“Well, there is at least one grievance removed”.

 

xxx

Late one night a drunken husband, after spending his whole time at his cub, set out for home.

“Well”, said he to himself, “if I find my wife up I will scold her; what business she has to sit up, wasting fire and light, eh? and if I find her in bed, I will scold her; what right she has to go to bed before I get home?”

 

xxx

A Mormon acquaintance once inveigled Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy. After he had been beaten about the ears with long and tedious expositions justifying the practice, the climax was capped by the Mormon’s demand that he cite any passage of scripture expressly forbidding polygamy.

“Nothing easier”, Mark replied.

“No man can serve two masters”.

xxx

In his old age, after he quit the war path, Quanah Parker, the famous chief of the Comanches, adopted many of the Whiteman’s ways. But in one respect he clung to the custom of his fathers. He continued to be a polygamist.

He was a friend and admirer of Theodore Roosevelt and on one occasion when Roosevelt was touring Oklahoma, he drove out to Parker’s camp to see him. With pride Parker pointed out that he lived in a house like a white man, that his children went to a white man’s school, and he himself dressed like a white man.

 

Whereupon Roosevelt was moved to preach him a sermon on the subject of morality. “See here chief, why don’t you set your people a better example? A white man has only one wife, he is allowed only one at a time . Here you are living with five squaws. Why don’t you give four of them and remain faithful to the fifth?”

 

Parker stood still a moment, considering the proposition. Then he answered: You are my great white father, and I will do as you wish – on one condition.”

 

“What is the condition?” Roosevelt asked.

“You pick out the one I am to live with and then you go and kill the other four.”

–Subham–

 

 

 

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by Tamil and Vedas on May 13, 2018  •  Permalink
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More Drinking Anecdotes (Post No.4983)

Compiled by London Swaminathan 

 

Date: 6 May 2018

 

Time uploaded in London – 11-21 am (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 4983

 

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Whole World Smells
A question of perspective was raised by the case of the drunk, who, while unconscious, had some Limburger cheese rubbed on his moustache. Coming to later, staggering feebly along, he began to say,
Ain’t it awful!
What is the trouble? Someone asked.
Ain’t it awful! Said the drunk.
The whole world smells.

Xxxx

 

Snake and Mongoose

An inebriated gentleman was weaving gently down the street carrying in his hand a box with perforations in the lid and sides. An acquaintance stopped him and said ,
My word, what have you got in the box.
Shh, said the drunk, It’s a mongoose.
What on earth for? asked his friend
Well, he said, you know how it is with me. I am not very drunk now, but I will be soon. And when I am I see snakes and I am scared of them and that is what I got the mongoose for;to protect me.
But good heavens, said his friend, those are imaginary snakes!
That’s all right, said the drunk reassuringly. That’s all right; this is an imaginary mongoose

Xxx

Stuffed Fish!


At a fashionable bar the main decoration s were mounted game and fish. A drunk fascinated by them, carefully walked from one to the other mumbling as he went. Suddenly he came upon an enormous stuffed tarpon. Swaying precariously stared at it for a full minute, then burst forth, ‘The fella who caught the fish is a liar!’

 

Tarpon= a large marine fish
Xxxx

 

Love Your Enemies
A clergyman told an   American Indian he should love his enemies.
I do, said the latter, for I love rum and cider.

 

xxxx

Open Your Hands!

William Pen was exhorting a drunkard to cast off his habits. The drunkard lamented that this was impossible.
No, said Penn. It is as easy as opening your hand, my friend.
Tell me how this is and I will do as you say, said the drunkard.
Friend, when you find any vessel of intoxicating liquor in your hand. Open the hand that it contains it before it reaches your mouth you will never be drunk again.

xxxx

 

Snake Bite!

In one of our South western proverbially dry states a couple of strangers in town asked a man on the street where they could get a drink
Well, said the man, in this town they only use whiskey for snake bite. There is only one snake in town, and it is getting kind of late You’d better hurry down and ‘git’ in line before it ‘gits’ exhausted.
Xxxx subham xxx

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More Loans and Banks Anecdotes (Post No.4980)

Compiled by London Swaminathan 

 

Date: 5 May 2018

 

Time uploaded in London – 9-02 am (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 4980

 

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Written by London Swaminathan 

 

Date: 5 May 2018

 

Time uploaded in London – 8-32 am (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 4980

 

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It is said that Henry Clay once asked the Riggs Bank for a 250 dollar loan on his personal note There was no reflection upon his credit , the bank replied, but it was a necessary formality in connection with this particular institution to have an endorser
Clay happened upon Daniel Webster and asked him if he would be kind enough to indorse for him.
Certainly, said Webster, but look here, I need some money myself. Why not make the note dollars and you and I will split it.
This was done, and to this day the note is in the Riggs Bank, unpaid.
Xxxx

  

Cicero and Cato

According to Cicero, when Cato (Roman Statesman 95 BCE) was asked what was the most profitable feature of an estate, he replied
Raising cattle success fully;
What next to that?
Raising cattle with fair success.
And next?
Raising cattle with but slight success
And fourth?
Raising crops.
And when his questioner said, How about money lending?
Cato replied, How about murder?

Xxxx

Chicago Bank Directors


A stranger in Chicago, a New Yorker ,stopped a little boy and asked him the way to Fifth National Bank, adding, Direct me there, son, I will give you a dollar.
Suppressing a grin the boy replied,
Ok boss, just follow me.
About half a block farther, the boy stopped and pointed to building nearest to them
Here you are, sir.
The man chagrined by his gullibility handed the boy the dollar but couldn’t help saying, That certainly was an easily earned dollar
That is right, said the boy, but don’t forget that bank directors in Chicago are highly paid.

Xxx

 

More Vice Presidents!

A man working as a teller in a bank bumped into an old friend of his one day.
Seeing that the bank teller seemed very preoccupied, the friend said,
What is the matter with you?
Well, there’s a lot of trouble down at the bank. We are going through a complete reorganisation
Why?
It seems we had more Vice presidents than depositors, replied the bank teller as he walked away.

Xxxx  SUBHAM xxx

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சாப்பாட்டு ராமன் கதைகள் (Post No.4976)

Written by London Swaminathan 

 

Date: 4 May 2018

 

Time uploaded in London – 5-56 am (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 4976

 

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WARNING: PLEASE SHARE MY ARTICLES; BUT DON’T SHARE IT WITHOUT AUTHOR’S NAME AND THE BLOG NAME. BE HONEST; OTHERS WILL BE HONEST WITH YOU

புகழ் பெற்ற ஆபரா பாடகி (Opera singer) மேடம் எமெஸ்டின் ஷூமான் ஹைங்க், நியூயார்க்கில் ஒரு உணவு விடுதியில் உட்காந்திருந்தார். அது மெட்ரோ பாலிடன் ஆபரா மண்டபம் (Metropolitan Opera House) அருகில் இருந்தது. அவருக்கு முன்னால் ஒரு பிளேட்டில் பெரிய மாமிசத் துண்டு இருந்தது.

அந்த நேரத்தில் புகழ் பெற்ற ஆண் பாடகர் என்ரிகோ கருஸோ  (Enrico Caruso) அங்கே வந்து சேர்ந்தார். இந்தப் பெண்மணியின் தட்டில் பெரிய மாமிசத் துண்டு இருந்ததைப் பார்த்து ஆச்சரியப்பட்டார். உடனே மனம் திறந்து பேசியும் விட்டார்.

நீங்கள் தனியாக சாப்பிடப் போகிறீர்களா? (You are not going to eat that alone?) என்று கிண்டலாக கேட்டார்.

 

அவர் உடனே சொன்னார்,

இல்லை, இல்லை, உருளைக் கிழங்குக் கறிக்கும் ஆர்டர் கொடுத்துள்ளேன்; அத்துடன்தான் சாப்பிடுவேன்!

 

(என்ரிகோ கேட்டது, வேறு யாராவது வரப்போகிறார்களா என்ற தொனியில்;  இது அந்த அம்மையாருக்கும் புரிந்தது. ஆயினும் தன் விஷயத்தில் வேறு ஒருவர் தலையிடுவதை விரும்பாத அவர் கிண்டலாக, இப்படி மூக்கை உடைக்கும் பதிலைத் தந்தார்)

xxxxxxxxxxxx

ஸ்பூன், போஃர்க், கரண்டி சாப்பிடாதீர்கள்!!!

பிரிட்டனில் வாழ்ந்த புகழ் பெற்ற டாக்டர்களில் ஒருவர் ரிச்சர்ட் ஜெப். அவர மூக்குப் பிடிக்க சாப்பிடும் நல்ல சாப்பாட்டு ராமன்; அவருக்கு யாராவது என்ன சாப்பிடுவது? என்று கேட்டால் பிடிக்காது.

 

வரும் நோயாளி ஒவ்வொருவரும் வழக்கமாகக் கேட்கும் கேள்வி:

 

டாக்டர் ஸார், நான் என்ன சாப்பிடலாம்? என்ன சாப்பிடக்கூடாது? என்று கேட்பர்.

அவர் சிரிக்காமல் அழாமல் மிகவும் ஸீரிஸாகப் பதில் கொடுப்பார்:

ஸ்பூன், போஃர்க், கரண்டி எதையும் சாப்பிட்டு விடாதீர்கள்; வயிற்றுக்கு மிகவும் கெடுதி; ஜீரணமும் ஆகாது; வாயு வேறு வரும்’ என்பார்.

ஏண்டா கேட்டோ,ம் என்று நினைத்துக் கொண்டு நோயாளிகள் ஓடி விடுவர்.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

மெல்பா டோஸ்ட்

விபத்துகளே ( தவறுகளே ) புதிய கண்டுபிடிப்புகளை உருவாக்குகின்றன (Great Inventions are the products of Accidents) என்று ஆங்கிலத்தில் ஒரு பொன்மொழி உண்டு. மெல்பா டோஸ்ட் (Melba Toast) என்பது உருவான கதை இதோ!

 

லண்டனில் புகழ்பெற்ற ஹோட்டல் ஸவாய் (Savoy) ஹோட்டல். ஸவாய் ஹோட்டல் மிகவும் பிரஸித்தமானது; அதி பயங்கர விலை!

அதில் பிரபல ஆபரா பாடகி நெல்லி மெல்பா (Nellie Melba) தங்கி இருந்தார். அப்போது தலைமைச் சமையல்காரர் பிரான்ஸைச் சேர்ந்த எஸ்கோப்பியே.

நெல்லி மெல்பா மிக ஸீரியஸாக பத்தியம் இருந்தார்; எடை குறைய வேண்டும் என்பதற்காக ரொட்டித் துண்டு மட்டுமே (டோஸ்ட்) சாப்பிட்டு வந்தார்.

ஒரு நாள் மாஸ்டர், வேறு ஏதோ வேலையில் இருந்ததால் வேறு ஒருவர் டோஸ்ட் செய்து கொண்டு போனார். அது காய்ந்து போன கருவாடு போலக் காட்சி தந்தது. அதைப் பார்த்துக்கொண்டிருந்த   ஹோட்டல் தலைவர் (Ritz) ரிட்ஸ் பதறிப்போனார். மன்னிப்புக் கேட்க ஓடி வந்தார். அவர் வாயைத் திறப்பதற்கு முன்னால், நெல்லி மெல்பா,

“என்ன அருமையான, சுவையான டோஸ்ட்; என் வாழ்நாளில் இப்படி ஒரு சுவையான டோஸ்ட் சாப்பிட்டதே இல்லை. எஸ்கோப்பியே மிகவும் திறமையான சமையல்கார என்றார். ரிட்ஸ் சத்தம் போடாமல் திரும்பி வந்தார்.

அது முதல் மெல்பா டோஸ்ட் என்ற பெயரில் எல்லோரும் , அதே போலச் செய்து விற்கத் துவங்கி விட்டனர்.

 

xxxxx SUBHAM xxxxx

 

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More Eating Anecdotes (Post No.4961)

Compiled by London Swaminathan 

 

Date: 29 APRIL 2018

 

Time uploaded in London – 12-28 am (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 4961

 

Pictures shown here are taken from various sources such as Facebook friends, Books, Google and newspapers; thanks. Pictures may be subject to copyright laws.

 

 

WARNING: PLEASE SHARE MY ARTICLES; BUT DON’T SHARE IT WITHOUT AUTHOR’S NAME AND THE BLOG NAME. BE HONEST; OTHERS WILL BE HONEST WITH YOU

 
Mark Twain habitually bemoaned the poor quality of French coffee . It was his insistence that the concoction was brewed by rubbing a chicory bean against a coffee bean and dropping the chicory bean in the water.

Xxx

Poisonous Mushroom’s effect


At a Sunday night tea which the author Hamlin Garden attended he was served Some fresh mushrooms.,
Are you sure, Madam, he asked his hostess with great concern. That these are not poisonous variety of mushrooms?
The hostess assured him that they were harmless and edible. As he still hesitated, looking speculatively into space, his hostess asked him if he was still afraid.
No, mused Mr Garland, I was just thinking of the effect on American letters should you be wrong.
Xxx

 

With Potatoes!


The wonderful Madame Ernestine Schumann Heink, greatest contralto of her time was seated in a restaurant near the Metropolitan Opera House with an enormous steak before her. Enrico Caruso came in and joined her at the table.
Stena, he said in mock astonishment, you are not going to eat that alone?
No said the portly contralto, no not alone; with potatoes.

Xxx

Don’t Eat Fork or Knife


Sir Richard Jebb, the famous doctor, was a liberal eater, a high liver. He believed the digestive organs were made to be used, not nursed. The question frequently asked by his patients what may I eat, Doctor? Was exceedingly annoying to him
On one occasion, he gave this answer,
My directions, sir, are simple. You must not eat the poker shovel or the tongs, for they are hard of digestion nor the bellows, for they will produce wind in your stomach; but you may eat anything else you please

Xxxx

Inventions and accidents

The old saying that many great inventions are the products of accidents seems to hold true in the culinary field.
There is a tradition surrounding the origin of Melba toast which was supposedly the great creation of the French master chef, Escoffier.

 

At the Savoy in London, Cesar Ritz was maitre d’hotel and Escoffier was chef. Nellie Melba, celebrated prima Donna was staying there and was strenuously dieting, living largely on toast.

 
It chanced one day, while the master was preoccupied, that an unerring prepared the great lady’s toast. It was bungled and was served to her in a thin dried up state resembling parchment. Ritz beheld with horror his celebrated guest crunching this aborted toast, and hastened over to apologise. Before he could utter a word Madame Melba burst out joyfully, saying, Caesar, how clever of Escoffier. I have never eaten such lovely toast.

Xxxx SUBHAM xxxxx

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by Tamil and Vedas on April 29, 2018  •  Permalink
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