பானை உடைத்தவன் பாக்கியசாலி! (Post No.3018)

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Translated  by London Swaminathan

Date:28 July 2016

Post No. 3016

Time uploaded in London :–  8-16 AM

(Pictures are taken from various sources; thanks)

 

DON’T REBLOG IT AT LEAST FOR A WEEK!  DON’T USE THE PICTURES; THEY ARE COPYRIGHTED BY SOMEONE.

 

(for old articles go to tamilandvedas.com OR swamiindology.blogspot.com)

 

எழுத்துத் திருடர்களுக்கு அன்பான வேண்டுகோள்:–

பிறருடைய கட்டுரைகள், கதைகள், துணுக்குகள் முதலியவற்றை மீண்டும் பயன்படுத்துகையில் எழுதியோருடைய பெயர்கள், வெளியிட்டவர்களின் பெயர்களை நீக்காமல் பகிருங்கள்; எழுத்தைத் திருடினால் உங்கள் மனைவி, மகள்கள், சொத்து, சுகம் இவைகளை வேறு ஒருவன்  திருடிவிடுவான் என்பதை அறியீரோ!

xxx

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பீங்கான் தட்டுகள், குடங்கள்,பூக்கள் வைக்கும் ஜாடிகள், அலங்காரப் பொருட்களை விற்கும் கடையில் ஒரு இளைஞன் வேலைக்குச் சேர்ந்தான். எல்லாம் விலை உயர்ந்த பொருட்கள். அவனுக்கோ கை நடுக்கம்.

 

நல்ல பூ வைக்கும் ஜாடியை உடைத்துவிட்டான்.

முதலாளி விரைந்தோடி வந்தார்.

 

இதோ பார், இதற்கான பணத்தைக் கொடுத்தால் தான் உனக்கு வேலை.

 

இதன் விலை என்ன?

முதலாளி: 300 டாலர். அவ்வளவு பணம் உன்னிடம் இல்லை என்று எனக்குத் தெரியும். ஆகவே வாரா வாரம் உனது சம்பளத்தில் ஒரு டாலர் கழித்து வருவேன்.

ரொம்ப நல்லது, முதலாளி! எனக்கு 300 வாரங்களுக்கு வேலை இருக்கிறதே! அதுவே போதும்!!

 

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சந்தேகப் பங்காளிகள்!

 

இரண்டு பேர் கூட்டு சேர்ந்து வியாபாரம் நடத்தி வந்தனர். இருவரும் விடுமுறையைக் கழிக்க ஒரு தீவுக்குச் சென்றனர். கடலில் நீந்தக் குதிக்கும்போது ஒரு பார்ட்னர் சொன்னார்:-

 

அடக் கடவுளே? கடையின் கதவைப் பூட்டினேன். ஆனால் பணப் பெட்டியைப் பூட்ட மறந்து விட்டேன்!

 

மற்றொரு பங்காளி: அதனால் என்ன?

 

ஆமாம், ஆமாம், அதனால் ஒன்றுமில்லை! நீதான் என்னுடன் இருக்கிறாயே!!

 

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தன்னம்பிக்கை வாழ்க!

 

உலக வணிக கண்காட்சிக்கு ஏற்பாடாகிக் கொண்டிருந்தது. அதற்குப் பொறு ப்பான குரோவர் வேலனைச் சந்திப்பது ‘குதிரைக்கொம்பாக’ இருந்தது. அவரைக் காண பலரும் காத்திருந்தனர்.

 

ஒருவருக்கு வேலை இல்லை. அவரைச் சந்தித்து வேலை வாங்க துடியாய்த் துடித்தார். அவரது அலுவலகத்துக்குள் நுழைந்தார்.

 

ரிசப்ஷன் (RECEPTION) பெண்மணியிடம் குரோவர் வேலன் அலுவலக அறை எது? என்று கேட்டார்.

 

ரிஷப்ஷன் பெண்:- அவர் மிகவும் (BUSY) ‘பிஸி; இப்பொழுது நீங்கள் அவரைச் சந்திக்க முடியாது.

 

அவர் விறு விறு என்று அந்த அறையை நோக்கி நடந்தார்.

 

பெண்: – அன்பரே! அவரை இப்பொழுது சந்திக்க முடியாது என்று சொன்னேனே! காதில் விழவில்லையா?

 

ஏ, பெண்ணே! நான் காலையிலும் மாலையிலும் கடவுளுடனேயே இரு முறை பேசுகிறேன். உங்கள் முதலாளியுடன் பேச முடியாதா? என்று சொல்லிக் கொண்டே குரோவரின் அறைக்குள் நுழந்தார்.

அவருக்கு வேலை கிடைத்துவிட்டது!

 

தன்னம்பிக்கை வாழ்க!

 

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whistling

பாடினாலும் வேலை!

 

எட்வார்ட் ஹாரிமேன் என்பவர் பெரிய ரயில்வே கம்பெனியின் அதிபர். அவரிடம் பல அதிகாரிகள் வேலை பார்த்து வந்தனர்..

ஒரு நாள் அவர் திடீரென அதிகாரிகள் அறைக்குள் நுழைந்தார்.

ஒரு அதிகாரி மேஜையின் மீது கால்களைப் போட்டுக்கொண்டு ஜாலியாக ‘விசில்’ அடித்து பாடிக்கொண்டிருந்தார்.

 

முதலாளியைப் பார்த்தவுடன் தூக்கிவாரி போட்டது.

உடனே நாற்காலியிலிருந்து எழுந்து நின்றார்.

 

சரி! நம்முடைய ‘சீட்டு’ இன்று கிழிந்தது– வீட்டுக்கு அனுப்பிவிடுவார் முதலாளி என்று நடுங்கினார்.

 

முதலாளி சொன்னார்: அட! இவ்வளவு கடுமையான வேலையிலும் உனக்கு நிதானமாகச் சிந்தித்து செயல்படும் ஆற்றல் இருக்கிறதே.

வெரி குட் (ரொம்ப நல்லது)

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ஏமாற்றியவருக்கு இரட்டைச் சம்பளம்!!

 

ஜேம்ஸ் கார்டன் பென்னெட் என்பவர் பெரிய பத்திரிக்கை முதலாளி. கடுமையான விதிமுறைகளைப் பின்பற்றுபவர். யாரும் மதுபானம் குடித்துவிட்டு அலுவலத்துக்கு வரக்கூடாது என்று உத்தரவு போட்டிருந்தார்.

 

ஒரு பத்திரிகை அலுவலக ஊழியர்,  ‘ஓஸி’யில் கிடைத்த மதுபானத்தை  நன்றாக மாந்திவிட்டு அலுவலகத்துக்கு வந்தார். முதலாளி எங்கே இந்த அறைக்குள் வரப்போகிறார் என்று எண்ணி இருந்தார்.

 

அவரது “அதிர்ஷ்டம்” பென்னெட் உள்ளே நுழைந்தார். உடனே இந்த குடிகார பத்திரிக்கை ஊழியர் கொஞ்சம் பிரிண்டிங் இங்க் — மையை முகத்தில் பூசிக் கொண்டார்.

 

பென்னெட், அவரை, ஒரு பார்வை பார்த்தார். போர்மன் (FOREMAN), யார் இந்த ஆள்?

 

உடனே அவர் அவர் பெயரைச் சொன்னார்.

Ink-face-black-eyes-Ilaria-Berenice

முதலாளி: கடுமையாக உழைப்பவர் என்று முகத்தைப் பார்த்தாலேயே தெரிகிறது. இன்று முதல் அவருக்கு இரட்டைச் சம்பளம் கொடுங்கள்!

 

–SUBHAM—

Partnership and Employment Anecdotes (Post No.3015)

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Compiled by London Swaminathan

Date:28 July 2016

Post No. 3015

Time uploaded in London :–  9-10 AM

(Pictures are taken from various sources; thanks)

 

DON’T REBLOG IT AT LEAST FOR A WEEK!  DON’T USE THE PICTURES; THEY ARE COPYRIGHTED BY SOMEONE.

 

(for old articles go to tamilandvedas.com OR swamiindology.blogspot.com)

One can’t cheat the other!

“Ok, Sam”, said one business man to his partner as they were about to enter the ocean at Coney Island on the afternoon they had decided to take off, “we forgot to close the safe!”

“What does it matter?” asked his partner.

“We are both here, ain’t we?”

 

Xxx

Max Brothers

The father of the Max Brothers was a tailor who operated, at one time, a business in Queens.  Marx was a much liked and very nice man, but the suits he made did not always fit. He entered, therefore, into a partnership with a very skilful Negro tailor under the firm name of Marx and Washington.

 

Xxx

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Employment Anecdotes

Unsteady hands led to a Steady Job!

A butter fingered man who had been suffering from a long siege of unemployment at last found a job in a China warehouse. He had been at work only a few days when he smashed a large vase. He was summoned to the manager s office and told by that dignitary that he would have to have money deducted from his wages every week until the vase was paid for.

“How much did it cost?”, asked the culprit.

“Three hundred dollars”, said the manager.

“Oh, that is wonderful”, he said.

“I am happy. At last I have a steady job”.

Xxx

Suicidal Note!

In Paris a young man named Arsene hanged himself at his master’s home. He left a memorandum bewailing his hard lot, and beseeching his parents to erect a simple tombstone to his memory with the inscription

“Born to be a man—died a grocery clerk”.

Xxx

employment

More Hiring and Firing Anecdotes

(Some time ago I posted some Firing and Hiring anecdotes).

A personnel manager found himself confronted with a real problem. He had explained to the applicant that he couldn’t place him because the firm was over staffed.

“That is alright”, said the job seeker, “the little bit of work I would do wouldn’t be noticed”.

–Subham–

Bosses and Executives Anecdotes (Post No.3011)

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Compiled by London Swaminathan

Date:27 July 2016

Post No. 3011

Time uploaded in London :–  18-36

( Thanks for the Pictures)

 

DON’T REBLOG IT AT LEAST FOR A WEEK!  DON’T USE THE PICTURES; THEY ARE COPYRIGHTED BY SOMEONE.

 

(for old articles go to tamilandvedas.com OR swamiindology.blogspot.com)

 

boss

Talking to God twice a day!

Grocer Whalen, during his administration of the World Fair , was known for his inaccessibility.  The story was told of one man, who, after repeated rebuffs, stormed past the receptionist one morning. The astonished girl called out,

“You can’t speak to Mr Whalen”.

The visitor paused in his advance long enough to say,

“Young Lady, I talk with God twice a day and He listens to me. I can certainly talk to Grover Whalen”.

He got his interview.

 

Xxx

Time to Think!

Into the office of one of his subordinate executives came Edward H Harriman, the Railroad King. His unexpected entrance caught the man tilted back in his chair with his feet on his desk. The executive hastily straightened up, fearing a possible scene, and with visions of being fired on the spot.

With relief he heard Harriman say, “I am glad you take time to think.”

Xxx

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Inspiring Slogan!

Ira Hirschman, the department store executive, once visited a department store in a medium sized mid-western city. The manager of the store was a bustling little man filled with self- importance and a belief in himself as a modern high pressure executive.

“One of the things I pride myself on, he explained, is the morale of the personnel in the store I keep them up on their toes all the time with inspiring slogans.  You would be surprised how it works. Now the slogan this week is one I thought up myself. If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing at all”.

 

Xxx

 

Cheat got Double Pay!

The celebrated newspaper publisher, James Gordon Bennet, was a man of harsh principle, and most especially was he intolerant of drinking. One time one of his pressmen turned up, after a spree, with a conspicuous black eye. Bennet happened to enter the pressroom and, fearful of being spotted and asked for an explanation, the culprit hastily smeared printers ink over his face, and applied himself to his tasks.

Who is that fellow, Bennet demanded, noting the grimy workman.

“What are you paying him?”, he asked next.

The foreman told him.

“Double it, ordered Bennet. He is obviously doing more work than anyone else in the place”.

Xxx

Banker’s Hours!

The owner of a fruit and vegetables store employed a boy whose duty it was to be on hand at 3 o clock every morning to deal with the truck farmers. The proprietor did not arrive until opening time.  For the sake of checking up he unexpectedly came to the shop one night, and at 3 o clock the boy had not arrived. 3-05 and the had not yet come. A moment or so later the boy hastened in.

“So, bellowed his employer, Banker’s hours!”

(Banker’s Hours= Short working hours)

XxxSubhamXxx

 

BRAHMINS ZINDABAD! (Post No.2999)

little vedic pundits

Compiled by London swaminathan

Date:23 July 2016

Post No. 2999

Time uploaded in London :– 16-27

( Thanks for the Pictures)

 

DON’T REBLOG IT AT LEAST FOR A WEEK!  DON’T USE THE PICTURES; THEY ARE COPYRIGHTED BY SOMEONE.

 

(for old articles go to tamilandvedas.com OR swamiindology.blogspot.com)

 

I have compiled what Buddha, Tamil poet Tiruvalluvar, Greatest Hindu Philosopher Adi Sankara, World’s first Law Book writer Manu (not Hammurabi) and Modern Hindu Saint Swami Vivekananda said about Brahmins. They all defended Brahmins – only the Brahmins who studied the Vedas and followed Vedic duties.

 brahmins vaishnavite

Buddha Says:–

 

“And a saint, a Brahmin, is pure from past sins; even if he had killed his father and mother, had murdered two noble kings, and had ravaged a whole kingdom and its people”

–Buddha in Dhammapada, Sloka 294

 

Because he has put away evil, he is called a Brahmin; because he lives in peace, he is called a ‘samana’; be cause he leaves all sins behind, he is called a ‘Pabbajita’, a pilgrim.

–Buddha in Dhammapada, Sloka 388

 

 

Ons should never hurt a Brahmin; and a Brahmin should never return evil for evil

–Buddha in Dhammapada, Sloka 389

 

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Adi Sankara says:–

 

Jantuunaam narajanma durlabatah pimstvam tato viprathaa

Tasmaadvaidika dharmamaargaparataa vidvatvamasmaatparam

–Vivekachudaamani of Adi Sankara, Sloka 2

 

“For all beings a human birth is difficult to obtain, more so is a male body;rarer than that is Brahminhood; rarer still is the attachment to the path of Vedic religion;higher than this is the erudition in the scriptures.

 

Tamil Poet Tiruvalluvar

The Brahmins are ascetics, because they are kind to all creatures (Tirukkural 30) Manakkudavar commentary.

 

Cows yield less, Brahmins forget the Vedas, if the king does not guard justice

(Tirukkural 560)

vedic brahmins

Manu Says:–

 

Buutaanaam praaninah sreshtaah praaninaam buddhi jiivinah

Budhimatsu naraah sreshtaanareshu braahmanaah smrutaah

 

The best of living beings are those that those who have the breath of life;

And the best of those that have the breath of life are those that live by their intelligence;

The best of those that have intelligence are men;

And Brahmins are traditionally regarded as the best of men.

 

Manu 1-96

Braahmaneshu sa vidvaamso vidvaatsukruta buddhayah

Krutabuddhishu kartaarah kartrushu brahmavedinah

 

Among the Brahmins learned men are the best;

Among learned men, those who understand their duties;

Among those who understand their obligations, those who fulfil them;

And among those who fulfil them, those who know the veda (are the best)

–Manu 1-97

 

 

The very birth of a Brahmin is the eternal physical form of religion; for he is born for the sake of religion and is fit to become one with the ultimate reality.

Manu 1-98

 

Utpattireva viprasya murtidharmasya saasvatii

Sa hi dharmaartamutpanno bramabhuyaaya kalpate

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For when a Brahmin is born he is born at the top of the earth, as the lord of all living beings, to guard the treasure of religion.

Manu 1-99

 

A Brahmin who studies the Vedas and has fulfilled his vow is NOT constantly smeared with the faults of the effects of past actions born of mind and heart, speech and body.

Manu 1-104

 

He purifies the rows for seven generations in the past and seven generations in future; he alone deserves the entire earth.

Manu 1-105

 

london murugan upajkarma

Swami Vivekananda says:–
“The ideal man of our ancestors was the Brahmin. In all our books stands out prominently this ideal of the Brahmin. In Europe, there is my Lord the Cardinal, who is struggling hard and spending thousands of pounds to prove the nobility of his ancestors, and he will not be satisfied until he has traced  his ancestry to some dreadful tyrant who lived on a hill and watched the people passing by, and whenever he had the opportunity,  sprang out on them and robbed them. That was the business of these nobility-bestowing ancestors, and my Lord Cardinal is not satisfied until he can trace his ancestry to one of these. In India, on the other hand, the greatest princes seek to trace their descent to some ancient sage who dressed in a bit of loin-cloth, lived in a forest, eating roots and studying the Vedas. It is there that the Indian prince goes to trace his ancestry. You are of the high caste when you can trace your ancestry to a Rishi, and not otherwise.

 

Our ideal of high birth, therefore, is different from of others. Our ideal is the Brahmin of spiritual culture and renunciation. By the Brahmin ideal what do I mean? I mean the ideal Brahminess in which worldliness is altogether absent and true wisdom is abundantly present. That is the ideal of the Hindu race.

 

Have you not heard how it is declared that the Brahmin, is not amenable to law, that he has no law that he is not governed by kings, and that his body cannot be hurt? That is perfectly true. Do not understand it in the light thrown upon it by interested and ignorant fools, but understand it in the light of the true and original Vedantic conception.

 

brahmins, fb 1

In Satya Yuga only one caste was there!

 

If the Brahmin is he who has killed all selfishness and who lives and works to acquire and propagate wisdom and the power of love– If a country is altogether inhabited by such Brahmins, by men and women who are spiritual and moral and good, is it strange to think of that country as being above and beyond all law? What police, what military are necessary to govern them? Why should govern them at all? Why should they live under a government? They are good and noble, and they are the men God; these are our ideal Brahmin and we read that in the Satya Yuga there was only one caste, and that was the Brahmin. We read in the Maha bhaarata that the whole world was in the beginning peopled with Brahmins, and that as they began to degenerate, they became divided into different castes, and when the cycle turns round, they will all go back to that Brahminical origin. This cycle is turning round now and I draw your attention to this fact. Therefore our solution of the caste question is not degrading those who are already high up, in not running amuck through food and drink, is not jumping out of our own limits in order to have more enjoyment, but it comes by every one of us, fulfilling the dictates of our Vedantic religion, by our attaining spirituality, and by our becoming the ideal Brahmin”.

 

 

“He only the Brahmin who has no secular employment. Secular employment is not for the Brahmin, but for the other castes. To the Brahmins I appeal, that they must work hard to raise the Indian people by teaching them what they know, by giving whatever out the culture that they have accumulated for centuries. It is clearly the duty of the Brahmins of India to remember what real Brahminhood is.

 

As Manu says, all these privileges and honours are given to the Brahmin because with him is the treasury of virtue. He must open that treasury and distribute its valuables to the world. It is true that he was the earliest preacher to the Indian races, he was the first to renounce everything in order to attain to  the higher realisation of life before others could reach to the idea. It was not his fault that he that he marched ahead of the other castes. Why did not the other castes so understand and do as he did? Why did they sit down and be lazy, and let the Brahmins win the race?

 

 

“But it is one thing to gain an advantage, and another thing to preserve it for evil use. Whenever power is used for evil it becomes diabolical; it must be used for good only. So this accumulated culture of ages of which the Brahmin has been the trustee, he must now give to the people at large, and it was because he did not give it to the people that the Mahammedan invasion was possible. It was because he did not open this treasury to the people from the beginning that for a thousand years we have been trodden under the heels of everyone who chose to come to India. It was through that we have become become degraded and the first task must be to break open the cells that hide the wonderful  treasures which our common ancestors accumulated; bring them out, and give them to everybody, and the Brahmin must be the first to do it”.
—SELECTIONS FROM THE COMPLETE WORKS OF SWAMI VIVEKANANDA

 

POMPOUSNESS (I am a V.I.P. attitude) ANECDOTES! (Post No.2998)

queen of Nepal

Picture of Queen of Nepal

Compiled by London swaminathan

Date:23 July 2016

Post No. 2998

Time uploaded in London :– 10-55 AM

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I am an M.P.

 

A peddler with a hand-cart full of shrimps was ordered out of the way by a member of Parliament, who was trying to park his limousine.

Look out yourself,” said the coster.

Do you realize,” demanded the other that I have an M.P at the end of my name?”

“So ‘as every blarsted shrimp in this ‘ere cart”

 

xxx
Take Two Chairs!

 

A pompous young man called on Joseph Choate the prominent lawyer and statesman The lawyer was busy and asked the young man to take a chair. But the youth was impatient and again interrupted the lawyer with the remark

“I am Bishop Blank’s son”

 

“Please take two Chairs” said Mr. Choate.

 

Xxx

victor hugo, germany

Victor Hugo! Who is he?

 

When Victor Hugo was an aspirant for the honors of the Academy, and called on M. Royer Collard to ask his vote, the sturdy veteran professed an entire ignorance of his name.

 

I am the author of “Notre Dame de Paris Les derniers Tours d’un Condamne’; “Marion Delorme etc.

 

“I have never heard of any of them.”

 

“Will you do me the honor of accepting a copy of my works?’

 

“I never read new books.”

Xxx

 

Oscar Wilde

 

To Boston is attributed the credit of having retorted to the superciliousness of Oscar Wilde in kind. “You’re Philistines,” Wilde accused his Boston audience, who have invaded the sacred sanctum of Art.”

 

A voice in the audience called out, “And you’re driving us forth with the jawbone of an ass”

Xxx

 brahms 2

Brahms Compositions!

 

Widmann relates that “when the school-masterish music director of a very small Swiss town graciously assured Brahms that he was familiar with every one of his compositions, the Master motioned him with his hand to be still and listen attentively, as the festival orchestra was just then playing something of his own. It was, however, a military march by Gungl. I can still see the good man before me, how with open mouth and reverent contorted eyes he listened to the rather commonplace fanfares, which he now really held to be a Brahms composition while Brahms, in outrageous glee over his successful trick, whispered to the rest of us: Just look at the Basilio. (the hypocritical dupe in Rossini’s “Barber of Seville’)

 

 

Xxx

 

God Relieved!

 

A Congressman said to Horace Greeley one day: I am a self-made man.” “That sir,” said Greeley, “relieves the Almighty of a great responsibility.”

 

Xxxx

 

Don’t Laugh!

 

To a young speaker Thomas Corwin, the Congressman, gave this advice:

“Never make people laugh. If you would succeed in life you must be solemn, solemn as an ass. All the great monuments are built over solemn asses.”

 

xxx

 

Politeness Anecdotes (Post No.2995)

jap 2

Compiled by London swaminathan

Date:22 July 2016

Post No. 2995

Time uploaded in London :– 9-12 AM

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respect

When in this country on a mission during World War I Marshal Foch was button holed by a noisy Westerner who launched into a tirade against French politeness

 

“There is nothing in it but wind,” he sneered.

 

“There is nothing but wind in a tire, politely countered Marshal, but it makes riding in a car very smooth and pleasant”.

 

Xxx

politeness

Black Salute

 

A governor of Virginia, being saluted by a Negro, immediately returned the compliment.

 

“Can you demean yourself so far, said a slaveholder, as to raise your hat to a negro?”

 

“Undoubtedly, said the governor. I should be sorry for him to exceed me in politeness.”

 

Xxx

 

Head on Collision

 

It happens to everybody sometime or other. The man and the woman were hastening down the street in opposite directions. They met head on, both veered abruptly to one side, and then to the other confronting each other in a vain effort to untangle themselves and pass. When the difficulty was at last solved, the man tipped his hat and said

Good bye, it is nice to have known you.

Xxx

jap politeness1

I can’t lie thrice!

 

Expressing himself somewhat bitterly on the subject of story tellers who persistently interrupt themselves to ask if one has heard the story, Mark Twain told of an encounter with Henry Irwing. The actor asked him if he had heard a certain story and Twain politely said No.

 

Irwing proceeded and later made the same query. Proceeding almost to the climax of his story, Irwing again asked if he heard it.

 

Twain said, I can lie once, I can lie twice for courtesy’s sake, but I draw the line there. I can’t lie the third time at any price. I not only heard the story, I invented it.

 

–Subham–

More PREJUDICE Anecdotes (Post No.2985)

image prejudice BBC

Compiled by London swaminathan

Date:19 July 2016

Post No. 2985

Time uploaded in London :–6-05 AM

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Meeting Margaret Fuller one day full-gloved in the street, Mrs. Horace Greeley, who had an antipathy to kid coverings, touched Miss Fuller’s hand with a shudder and snapped out “Skin of a beast!”

 

“Why, what do you wear?” asked Margaret.

 

“Silk,” responded Mrs. Greeley.

 

Miss Fuller gave a comic shudder and came back with: “Entrails of a worm!”

Xxx

 

“One day,” related Booker T. Washington, the Negro educator, “a poor, ignorant white man came to the polls to vote.

 

“I wish you’d oblige me by voting this ticket,’ said a bright mulatto, who was standing near the polls.

 

“What kind of a ticket is it?” asked the poor white man.

 

“Why,” said the mulatto, “you can see for yourself.”

 

“But I can’t read “What, can’t you read the ballot you have there in your hand and which you are about to vote? exclaimed the colored man.

 

“No,” said he, “I can’t read at all.” “Well,” said the colored man, this ballot means that you are in favor of giving equal franchise to both white and colored citizens.”

 

“It means to let the niggers vote, does it?”

 

“ Yes, sir “

 

Then I don’t want it. Niggers don’t know enough to  vote”

 

xxx

Pauline Bonaparte

 Portrait of Pauline Bonaparte (1780-1825) 

 

Pauline Bonaparte engaged a huge Negro to bath her morning. When some one protested, she answered innocently,

 

“What? Do you call that thing a man?”

 

She then ordered the Negro to go out and marry at once in order that she might not be compromised.

 

Xxx

 

 

One day Jack Johnson (the Negro heavyweight champion) went alone into Bradcock’s (in Mexico City), a very fashionable restaurant run by an American Southerner.

 

Jack had been told that there was no color line in Mexico, but in Bradcock’s restaurant, after a long wait on his part, a waitress informed him she had orders never to serve a Negro.

 

He went over to El Globo. Two generals at once insisted on returning with him to Bradcock’s. The three of them seated themselves at a table and asked to see Bradcock personally.

 

Bradcock appeared, rubbing his hands ingratiatingly as though about to present someone with a loving-cup.

 

“What can we do for you he asked solicitously, noticing the insignia on the uniforms.

 

“We want four coffees.”

 

“Certainly, certainly.” One was never impolite to a Mexi can general. “You have another friend coming.”

 

“No,” snorted one of the generals. “We are asking you to do us the honor of taking coffee with us.” He laid his gun on the table.

 

Mr. Brad cock, proud Southerner that he was, tamely sat down.

 

Afterwards the generals called a policeman, and Bradcock was fined a hundred pesos for discrimination.

 

jack-jackson

 

—Subham–

 

Woman is an Adjective; Man is a Noun! (Post No.2982)

 

IMG_3686

Compiled by London swaminathan

Date:18 July 2016

Post No. 2982

Time uploaded in London :– 14-05

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Following piece is an interesting excerpt from a 100-year-old book written by a Muslim scholar: –

 

Source: Life and Labour of the People of India by Abdullah Yusuf Ali, Barrister at Law, London, 1907

 

 IMG_3681

 

‘Woman, said Keshub Chunder Sen, has been defined as an adjective agreeing with the noun man.  I should rather say that man is a noun in the objective case, governed by the verb woman. This humorous simile may be read with the simile of the poet of the Veda when he compares the brightness of the God of fire to the shining of a woman in her home.

 

Sita, in a celebrated passage of Valmiki’s Ramayana, says to her husband,

 

“The world shall wake no care in me;

My only care be truth to thee”

 

If we apply this noble saying in a reciprocal sense, and base the solidarity of human society on the truth of man to woman, and of woman to man, many of life’s riddles would be solved –many of life’s difficulties would disappear.

 

I may be something of a dreamer, but I hope and trust that society in India, — as elsewhere — will recognise the place that is woman’s , not as a result of conflict and strife– not as a victory after the dust of battle– but as the natural symbol of Peace, Harmony, Union, Devotion, and Love.”

 

 

Xxxx

 

IMG_3685

American, French English Women

 

“The Americans have a saying that a woman is independent before marriage in England, after marriage in France, and at all times in America. From an Indian point of view, it would probably be expressed thus; that a woman in her husband in England, and in her brother in France, while in America, she has to fight for her own hand against all the world.

 

The Indian woman is always protected — by the father in childhood, by the husband in youth, and by the sons in old age. A woman, says Manu, should never left unprotected. Whatever degree of freedom and initiative she had in her mother’s house is lost to her in her new home. There she is the daughter in law. The mother in law is with us the chief butt of satire and comic poetry in what country she is not? But in India the mother in law is the husbands mother, not the wife’s; and the amenities between her and her son’s wife are accentuated by the fact that he former is so much older than the latter and the two have to live together, with scarcely any influence on the part of the boy husband”.

 

Xxx

IMG_3682

Woman is not made for work!

 

 

“The fact that the woman is not supposed, according to our social ideas, to earn her daily bread.

 

For the legal profession a very energetic and all but success full attempt was made by one of the most brilliant of India’s women, Miss Cornelian Sorabjee. After a distinguished college career in India she went to Oxford and studied law. She passed rats all her legal examination s, but unfortunately the High Courts in India did not see their way permit her to practise as an advocate on account of her sex. The loss of the legal profession was the gain of literature, for she has since published two charming books containing sketches of India n life. But her legal knowledge was not acquired in vain; how services have been requisitioned by the Bengal Government. She is acting as the legal adviser to the women under Courts of Wards. Her position is one of great authority and exceptional difficulty, for she is the interpreter between two languages, vulgarly held to be incompatible with one another — the language of a woman’s wish, and the language of the law but the wit of a refined woman may be trusted to translate from the one to the other, with a full combination of grace, tact, and business acumen”.

 

Written over 100 years ago by a Muslim Scholar; pictures re from Hare Krishna Rath Yatra in London held on 17th July 2016; taken by london swaminathan.

 

–Subham–

Ugly English Word ‘Lie’! Liar Anecdotes (Post No.2976)

lies image

Compiled by London swaminathan

Date:16 July 2016

Post No. 2976

Time uploaded in London :– 8-09 AM

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Speaker Reed, Ambassador Choate and Senator Westcott were chatting together one evening.  Mr Choate said with great solemnity “Well, gentlemen, I have not drunk whiskey, played cards for money, or attended a horse race in twenty eighth years”.

“My gracious!, exclaimed Senator Westcott admiringly.

I wish I could say that.”

“Why don’t you?, blandly inquired Mr Reed.

“Choate did”.

 

Xxx

churchil-cigar

Churchil’s LIE

 

A generation ago, when Prime minister Winston Churchill was still a member of the Liberal Party, he rose in Commons to defend his party against the charge that they had deliberately misrepresented the Conservative party.  The Liberals have accused The Conservative party of practising slavery in South Africa because they kept negro labourers behind barbed wire compounds under severe restrictions.

 

Churchill remarked, “I admit the term slavery might be a terminological inexactitude”.

At this Joseph Chamberlain,father of the late prime minister Neville Chamberlain, interrupted,

“I prefer the ugly little English three letter word – l i e”

 

Xxx

 

lincoln.jpg

A certain young California politician, notorious for lying, had once been unwittingly led into speaking the truth. Noah Brooks was explaining the situation to President Lincoln, who immediately reminded himself of a story, saying that he recalled a similar circumstance about a negro barber in Illinois, who was a great liar. A crowd in front of a barber shop stood one evening gazing with admiration at the planet Jupiter.

 

“Sho, said the barber, I have seen that star before. I seen him way down in Georgy”,said Lincoln, like your California friend, he told the truth, but thought he was lying.”

 

–SUBHAM–

 

 

No Full Stop! Speaking, Speaking, Speaking ……………(Post No.2973)

cartoon_speaker_crowd

Compiled by London swaminathan

Date:15 July 2016

Post No. 2973

Time uploaded in London :– 6-16 AM

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More Longwindedness Anecdotes

 

An ambassador having come to Sparta from Perinthus, spoke at great length.

 

“What answer shall I return to the Perinthians?”, he asked.

 

“Say, said the King, that you talked a great deal, and I didn’t utter a word”.

 

Xxx

crowd

Present Generation and Posterity

 

 

General Alexander Smith of Virginia, a man of ability, was an excessively tedious speaker, worrying the House and prolonging his speeches by numerous quotations. On one occasion when he had been more than ordinarily tiresome he turned to Henry Clay who was sitting near him.

 

“You, sir, speak for the present generation; but I speak for the posterity,” said Smith.

 

“Yes, said Mr Clay, and you seem resolved to speak until the arrival of your audience”.

 

Xxx

 drmaze4

TIME and ETERNITY

 

On one occasion a person who was present at a sitting of the Court of Sessions in England, returned late in the afternoon and found the same case still on and the same advocate talking. He remarked to Lord Cockburn,

 

“Surely he is wasting a great deal of time”.

 

“Time, the jurist replied, long ago he has exhausted time. Now he is encroaching upon eternity”.

 

Xxx

 

Help me to Find my way back, Please!

 

The late Gilman Marston of New Hampshire was arguing a complicated case, and had looked up authorities back to Julius Caesar.

 

At the end of an hour and a half, in the most intricate part of his plea, he was pained to see what looked like Inattention.

 

The judge was unable to appreciate the nicer points of his argument.

 

“Your honour, he said, I beg your pardon, but do you follow me?”

 

“I have so far, answered the judge shifting wearily in his chair, but I will say frankly that if I thought I could find my way back, I would quit right here”.

amazing maze park

Xxx

 

Nothing there to Stop!

 

And then there was the case of that other counsel, this was an Irishman, who also developed an inexhaustible argument upon an exhaustible case. After he had gone on for four hours the President of the Court said to him,

 

“Mr Murphy, is it any good for you to continue? Everything you say goes in at one ear and comes out of the other”.

 

“Why not, said the counsel, there is little enough to stop it”.

 

—Subham–