MEN OF WIT ARE NOT FIT FOR JOBS (Post No.5643)

Compiled by London Swaminathan

swami_48@yahoo.com

Date: 9 November 2018

GMT Time uploaded in London –7-27 am
Post No. 5643

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Learned Men Anecdotes

Someone once rudely taunted John Maynard, Lord Commissioner of the Great Seal of England, with having grown so old as to forget his law.
“True Sir”, he replied,
“I have forgotten more law than you ever learned” .

Xxxx

PHILOSOPHERS ALSO NEED FOOD

A noble man observing a person eminent for his philosophical talents, intent on choosing delicacies at table said to him,
What! Do you philosophers love dainties?
Why not — do you think my Lord, that the good things of the world were only made for blockheads?

Xxx

 

MEN OF WIT ARE NOT FIT FOR JOBS
The Duke of Newcastle, when prime minister, once told the author of Tristan Shandy, that men of wit were not fit to be employed, being incapable of business.

“They are not incapable of business, my Lord, but above it, replied Sterne. A sprightly generous horse is able to carry a pack saddle as well as an ass, but he is too good to be put to the drudgery”.

Xxxx

 

WORDS WORTH AND COLERIDGE COULD NOT DO IT

Cottle, the Bath bookseller, recorded,

I removed the harness…..but…… could not get off the collar. In despair I called for assistance. Mr Wordsworth first brought his ingenuity into exercise, but, after several unsuccessful efforts, he relinquished the achievement as altogether impracticable. Mr Coleridge now tried his hand, but….after twisting the poor horse’s neck, almost to strangulation, and the great danger of his eyes, he gave up the useless task, pronouncing that the horse head must have grown (gout or dropsy) since the collar was put on! for it was a downright impossibility for such a huge os frontis to pass through narrow a collar! At about this juncture the servant girl appeared, turned the collar upside down, and removed it.

Xxx


PLATO HAS MY IDEAS!
One of Emerson’s rural neighbor s at Concord borrowed from him a copy of Plato
Did you enjoy the book?, asked Emerson, when it was returned.
I did that, replied his neighbour.
This Plato has a lot of my ideas

Xxx

QUEEN CHRISTINA
Queen Christina of Sweden complimented the celebrated Vossius by saying that he was so well learned as not only to know whence all the words came but whither they were going.

Tags: Plato, Men of wit, Coleridge, law, philosophers

XXX  SUBHAM XXX

MUSLIM, CHRISTIAN SUPERSTITION ANECDOTES (Post No.4725)

Date: 10 FEBRUARY 2018

 

Time uploaded in London- 9-37 AM

 

Compiled by London swaminathan

 

Post No. 4725

 

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Superstition Anecdotes 

Coleridge, when asked by a lady if he believed in ghosts, replied,

“No, madam, I have seen too many to believe in them”.

 

Xxx

How to serve Meals?

Carefully explaining the correct procedure in serving meals, the wealthy society lady ended her little lecture to the new maid by saying,

Now, Mary, don’t forget. You always serve from the left and take the plates from the right.

 

I won’t forget, Madam, answered the girl in a conciliating tone of voice, but what is the matter? Superstitious or something?

Xxx

Negros Superstition

 

Abraham Lincoln told this story

A balloon ascension occurred in New Orleans before the war, and after sailing in the air for several hours, the aeronaut who was arrayed in silks and spangles like a circus performer, descended in a cotton field where a gang of slaves were at work. The frightened negroes took to the woods ,all but one venerable darky, who was rheumatic and could not run, and who, as the resplendent aeronaut approached, having apparently just dropped from heaven, said,

Good morning. Massa Jesus; how is yo pa?

 

Xxx

Muslims object to Telephone

 

When the first line was put in for King Ibn Saud in Arabia, Moslem religious leaders protested against such innovations and works of the devil from the land of the Infidel. Ibn Saud listened to their complaint and gave judgement,

If the telephone is really the work of the Devil , the holy words of Koran will not pass over it,if the holy words do pass over it. It assuredly cannot be the work of the Devil. So we will appoint two mullahs, one to sit in the palace and one in the telephone exchange, and they are to take turns reading a passage from the Holy Book, and we will see. By this test the r religious leaders were convinced.

 

Xxxx

Key and Snake!

A snake having twined itself round a key, which was declared by the seers to be a portent, Leotychidas (Spartan Ruler 545 BCE) remarked

It would have been more of a portent if the key had twined itself round a snake.

Xxxx

No Boots!

General Emilio Mola, second in command with the Spanish fascists, was killed in an airplane crash. When the peasants picked him up they found he was in his stocking feet. A brother officer explained that a Gipsy had once told the General he would die with his boots on, and he therefore always took his shoes off when in an air plane.

 

Xxxx subham xxxxx