Rudeness Anecdotes (Post No.3469)

Compiled by London swaminathan


Date: 21 December 2016


Time uploaded in London:- 18-14


Post No.3469



Pictures are taken from different sources; thanks.




The would -be wit found himself quietly put down several pegs when, at the dinner table, he held up his fork with a piece of meat upon it and asked his hostess,
“Is this pig?”
“To which end of the fork do you refer ?”, asked one of his fellow guests.

I can’t remember your name
At a recent gathering of Hamilton college alumni, Alexander Woollcott was interrupted in the telling of a story by a former classmate, who said, “Hello Alex! You remember me, don’t you?”

Mr Woollcott shook his head,
“I can’t remember your name, but don’t tell me……” He then went on with his story.


Real Pearls and False Teeth!

At a stuffy English garden party, Beatrice Lilly, Lady Peel, wearing the Peel pearls, was approached by a lady of lineage who said maliciously,
“What lovely pearls, Beatrice, are they genuine?”
Miss Lillie nodded,
“Of course you can always tell by biting them” , she said.
“Here, let me see.”
“Gladly, said Lady Peel, preferring her jewels, but remember Duchess, you can’t tell real pearls with false teeth”.


“I simply can’t bear fools”.

One of Dorothy Parker’s more telling retorts was in answer to the snobbish young man who had been discoursing at some length at a party and had finally observed,
“I simply can’t bear fools”.
“How odd, was Miss Parker’s reply.
“Apparently your mother could”.


For deadly comments on deadly occasions Beatrice Lillie deserves some accolade.
“Don’t think it has been charming”, she said to her hostess when leaving a party, “because it has not” .


Polished Brass!
Robert Hall being unsuccessful in securing the hand of a Miss Steel, while smarting under his disappointment, took tea with a company of ladies, one of whom, the lady of the house, said, in bad taste ,
“You are dull, Mr Hall, and we have no polished steel to brighten you”.
“O, madam, replied Hall, that is of no consequence; you have plenty of polished brass”.


I never forget a Face, but……
A celebrity hound approached Groucho Marx at a party.
“You remember me, Mr Marx. We met at the Glynthwaites some months ago”.
“I never forget a face”, Groucho replied, “but I will make an exception in your case”.

Against the charge of malice, Samuel Rogers defended himself thus:
“They tell me I say ill- natured things. I have a very weak voice; if I didn’t say ill- natured things no would hear what I said”.

When one of the town’s most important movie producers had his secretary call the late john Barrymore to invite him to a party, Barrymore politely murmured  into the telephone,
“I have a previous engagement which I shall make as soon as possible”.



I am Herman Goering!

Herman Goering accompanied the Fuehrer on one of his visits to Rome. On the crowded railway platform filled with dignitaries and troops, the massive Marshal roughly jostled past an Italian gentleman of aristocratic bearing, who turned and haughtily demanded an apology. Fiercely the Marshal turned upon him and snapped,
“I am Herman Goering”. The Italian bowed and replied,
“As an excuse that is not enough, but as an explanation it is ample”.



In India Rain drops turn into Pearls and Rubies! (Post No.2678 )


Compiled by london swaminathan

Date: 30 March,2016


Post No. 2678


Time uploaded in London :–  18-43


( Thanks for the Pictures  ) 




(for old articles go to OR


Arab writers praised India sky high; here are two notes:–


India is a land where when rain falls it turns into pearls and rubies for those who have no ornaments; from here come musk camphor, amber and aloe wood, and various kinds of perfumes for those who require them; here grow all sweet smelling substances and nutmeg and andropogonnadus; here are found ivory and jai-phal, and aloe wood and sandal, and here is found in abundance the mineral tutia; here are found lions, leopards, elephants and bears; and here are found cranes and parrots, and peacocks and pigeons; and here grow the coconut tree and ebony tree and pepper plant; and here are made the unparalleled swords which need not be polished, and the lances which when wielded, large armies are routed; who can deny the excellence of such a land except fools?

Arabic writer Atharul Bilad, Al-Qazvini


Indians are the Most Advanced

The Indians are the first (most advanced), very large in number and belonging to a noble country. All the ancient peoples have acknowledged their wisdom and accepted their excellence in the various branches of knowledge. The kings of china used to call the Indian kings the kings of wisdom because of their great interest in sciences. The Indians, therefore according to all the nations throughout the ages had been the mines of wisdom, and the fountains of justice and administration. But on account of the great distance of india from our country, few of their compositions reached us. And, therefore only a small portion of their sciences was received by us.


We learnt of only a few of their scholars. In astronomy, for example there are three schools of thought in India

1.The school of Siddhanta

2.The school of Arjbar (Aryabhatta)

3.The school of Arkand (Khandakhadyaka)

But in spite of our efforts we received only the theory of Siddhanta. And this is the theory which is followed by a group of Muslim scholars who based their astronomical tables on it.

In music we have received from them the book called Yafar(?) it literally means ‘the fruits of wisdom’. It contains the principles of modulation and the collections of tunes. And what reached us of their science of ethics is the book “Kalila Wa Dimna’’(Panchatantra stories) which is widely known. And what reached us of their works on arithmetic is the one which has been collaborated by Abu Jafar Muhammed b. Musa al- Khawrizmi. This is the shortest process of calculation easiest to learn. It proves the sharp intelligence of Indians, their creative genius and their excellence in invention.


Arabic writer Abu Mashar al –Balkhi