Poor Preacher, Baptist Fish, Fool’s Signature- More Interesting Anecdotes (Post No.4866)

Poor Preacher, Baptist Fish, Fool’s Signature- More Interesting Anecdotes (Post No.4866)

 


COMPILED by London Swaminathan 

 

Date: 30 MARCH 2018

 

Time uploaded in London –  7-45 am (British Summer Time)

 

Post No. 4866

 

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Poor Preacher!

Jerome D.Engel, the famous Baptist preacher, was once vacationing at a well -known shore resort. One of the local churches had expected to have its pulpit filled on Sunday morning by a “supply” or visiting minister. At the last minute, the visitor was unable to appear, and the church found itself with no one to conduct the services.

 

The leaders of the church scurried around distractedly in search of a preacher, and were unable to find anyone. At last to chancing to hear of the presence in town of the eminent divine, one of the church members sought out Engel and begged for his

services.

 

Delighted and relieved, the committeeman said, “You know, Dr Engel, we’d have been willing to accept a poorer preacher, but it was impossible to find one.”

 

xxx

Fool’s Signature

Reverend Henry Ward Beecher entered Plymouth Church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it and contained the single word, “Fool”. Quietly and with becoming seriousness he announced to the congregation the fact in these words:

“I have known many an instance of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is the only instance I have ever known of a man signing his name and forgetting to write the letter”.

 

xxx

 

More Repentance!!

 

xxx Bursting with her news, Mrs Meadows hurried to her neighbour’s house.

 

Have you heard, Mrs Smith? The minister’s son has decided to become a jockey. Of course you know that he was supposed to go to the Theological Seminary this year.

 

Mrs Smith, more of the woman of the world than her friend, replied drily,

Well, I must say that he will bring a lot more people to repentance that way than he would as a minister.

 

xxx

 

Baptist Fish

Jerome D Engel, the famous Southern Baptist divine, was strolling along the sea walk during a Church Convention at Charleston. He came upon an old colored man who was fishing from the pier. For some time Engel watched the Negro patiently waiting for a bite. At last he pulled in a fish of repulsive appearance, seeming to be something between a toad and a bullhead. Knowing little about so worldly a matter as fishing, Engle asked,

What kind of fish is that, George?

“Dey call it a Baptist fish”, croaked the old man.

“A Baptist Fish? inquired Engle sceptically.

“Sho”, answered the fisherman, throwing his catch back into the sea,

“ Dey calls dem dat ‘cause dey spoils so fast after dey is taken out of water”.

 

xxx

Specifications of a Good Minister!

The Reverend Doctor Edgar Dewitt Jones propounded the specifications of a good minister (preacher):

“He should get religion like a Methodist;

experience it like a Baptist;

be sure of it like a Disciple;

stick to it like a Lutheran;

pray for it like a Presbyterian;

conciliate it like a Congregationalist;

glorify it like a Jew;

be proud of it like an Episcopalian;

practise it like a Christian Scientist;

propagate it like a Roman Catholic;

work for it like a Salvation Army lassie;

enjoy it like a colored man.”

 

–Subham–

 

 

Two Stories: Lying and Hypocrisy in Hindu Temples and Churches!

church stamp

Article No.1990

Compiled by London swaminathan

Date 12th July 2015

Time uploaded in London:13-58

“Agora tapasi, Vipareeta chorah”

“All saint without, all devil within”

“Hypocrisy is a sort of homage that vice pays to virtue”

A minister (in church) wound up the services one morning by saying, “Next Sunday, I am going to preach on the subject of liars. And in this connection, as a preparation for my discourse, I should like you all to read the 17th chapter of Mark.”

On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin, and said, “Now then, all of you who have read the 17th Chapter of Mark, please raise your hands.”

Nearly every hand in the congregation went up. Then said the preacher, “You are the very people want to talk to. There is no 17th Chapter of Mark!”

20 armed ganesh,chicago

Ganesh Temple Abhishek

In a Ganesh temple in Tamil Nadu, the priest announced, “ Dear devotees,  tomorrow being an auspicious day for the Hindus and a day favourable to worship Lord Ganesh, I would like every one of you to bring milk for Abhisheka (bathing the statue). I don’t want to know who brought what quantity of milk. All are equal in the presence of God. So, please pour all the milk into the tank specially constructed for the day”.

Most of the devotees were hypocrites and cheats. All of them thought let me take water in a big pot and pour it into the tank. Who would know whether I poured water or milk into the tank? All of them pretended pouring milk into the tank, but poured only water, when it was dark!

And the most important day arrived. A big crowd assembled there in the temple to witness the great MILK Abhishek. The priest came to know that the tank was full. So he prepared hundreds of pots to take the milk from the tank. Devotees competed with one another to take the milk to the statue and earn Punya (merit).

To the surprise of the priest and the “devotees” only WATER came out! Milk Abhishek ended into water Abhishek. Everyone looked sheepish and shamefaced.

The priest prayed for the devotees loudly, “Asato Ma Sat gamaya; Tamaso Ma Jyotir gamaya” meaning “From the unreal lead me to the Real; From darkness lead me to Light”.

abrus

Tamil Quotations on Hypocrisy

“At the hypocritical conduct of a false-hearted man

Even the five elements inside will laugh derisively” – Tirukkural 271

“One who is incapable of mastering himself, trying to put on an air of strength

Is like a cow grazing on forbidden pasture, under cover of tiger’s skin” – Kural 273

“One who indulges in vice under cover of a saint’s trappings

Is like a bird-catcher lying in wait behind a bush” –Kural 274

“Like the Kundri seed, there are some people, who shine red all over

But are inwardly black as the nose of the same seed” – Kural 277

(Gundumani= Gunja seeds=Abrus seeds=Kundri seeds)

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