MAN DOES NOT LIVE BY BREAD ALONE- BIBLE JOKES (Post No.6707)

Compiled by London swaminathan

swami_48@yahoo.com

 Date: 31 JULY 2019


British Summer Time uploaded in London – 18-1
4

Post No. 6707

 Pictures are taken from various sources. ((posted by swamiindology.blogspot.com AND tamilandvedas.com))

The Rev Dr W S Rainsford once told the futility of trying to comfort people with Bible texts.

“Whenever I tried to persuade an Irish member of my flock to pay more attention to his church duties, he would make the excuse that it took his all time to earn a living, and he would touch my heart by his expatiation upon the difficulty of making money.

But Patrick”, I protested, “man does not live by bread alone”.

“No, Y’r Riverance, replied Patrick, “Sure an’ he needs a bit o’ mate an’ some vegetables as well!”

(meat and vegetables)

Xxxx

A bigoted old church goer, firmly set in his notions, rebuffed his neighbour who was speaking of a new American version of the Bible.

Said he, “If the King James version was good enough for St Paul, its good enough for me”.

Xxx

Mark twain and Bible story

Mark Twain was fond of telling the story of the small boy’s account of Elijah in his less ingratiating mood.

“There was a Prophet named Elija. One day he was going up a mountainside. Some boys threw stones at him. He said, “If you keep on throwing stones at me, I will set the bears upon and they will eat you up. And they did, and he did, and the bears did”.

Xxxx

US President and the Bible

Someone remarked in President Grant’s presence that Sumner did not believe in the Bible.

Why should he? asked the President, “he did not write it”.

Xxx

God alone knows all!

On one occasion, when Mrs William Gladstone was entertaining visitors, conversation turned on the Bible, and there was a lively argument on the meaning of a certain passage.

Presently one of the callers, hoping to end the discussion, remarked devoutly,

“There is One (God) alone who knows all”

The cloud vanished from Mrs Gladstone’s face and she smiled sunnily as she said,

“Yes, and William will be down in a few minutes”.

Xxx

Bible and Baseball

Greatly distressed by the prevailing ignorance of the villagers in the small village in which she was vacationing, an old lady persuaded the school teacher to give some lessons to some of the more illiterate adults.

Meeting one of the pupils on the street one day she asked kindly,

“Well, John, I guess you can read your Bible by this time.”

“Bless your heart , Madam” was the grateful reply, I was out of the Bible and into the baseball news over a week ago”

—subham —

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